Page 7 of 14
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:19 pmby Bad Bob
Pepe: Oh Papa Homer your are so learn-ed.
Homer: It's pronounced learnd son, learnd.
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:20 pmby Bad Bob
Marge: coffee
Aussie barkeep: beer?
Marge: COFFEE
A.B.: BEER
Marge: C-O-F...
A.B.: B-E...
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:21 pmby Cool Hand Luke
Renee (Moe’s girlfriend): Really, you think I’m gorgeous?
Moe: Yeah, well the parts that are showing. I guess you could have a lot of weird scars or a fake 
or something.
Renee: You don’t talk to a lot of women do you?
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:21 pmby The Ace1983
Lou: Sir, there's been an explosion on Evergreen Terrace
Wiggum: Ugh, that's three blocks away.
Lou: It looks like there's beer coming out of the old Simpson place
Wiggum: Am preceeding on foot. Lou, call in a code twelve!
Lou: (on Radio) Pretzels! We need Pretzels!
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:22 pmby Bad Bob
Lisa (after drinking the water in the "It's a Small World" ride at Duff Gardens on Bart's urging):
"I am the Lizard Queen"
Later:
"Can't talk, coming down."
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:22 pmby Cool Hand Luke
Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:22 pmby The Ace1983
Moe to a woman: You look pretty clean.
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:23 pmby Cool Hand Luke
Homer: How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:23 pmby Cool Hand Luke
Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:24 pmby Bad Bob
Jimbo: way to breathe, no breath dude!
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:25 pmby Cool Hand Luke
Ned Flanders: You ugly hate-filled man.
Moe: Hey. I may be ugly and I may be hate-filled but ... uh ... what was that last thing you said?
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:25 pmby Bad Bob
A favourite Lunch-Lady Doris moment:
"More testicles means more iron"
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:25 pmby Cool Hand Luke
Lisa: I'm an ugmo.
Homer: Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Father's have to say that little stuff.
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grandpa: No. You're homely as a mule's butt.
Homer: There. See?
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:26 pmby The Ace1983
Skinner: Hello, my name is Principal Sinner, er, Skinner
(children start laughing)
Skinner: Well I've lost them forever
Posted:
Mon May 08, 2006 9:26 pmby Cool Hand Luke
Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right.
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.