Liverpool FC Forum

Gaffa wrote:

The Red Baron wrote:

Gaffa wrote:You know nothing other then Beer, Sex and Beer and Sex....

What else do you need to know

  haha ofcourse, you wouldnt want to worry yourself with things that doesnt give you pleasure ...

Heres a little song Iwrote, de de de de de de ........
Dont worry be happy

babu wrote:Here are some wise words written by an obviously Knowledgeable, but fed up male:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side.

These are our rules - Please note that they are not numbered as they
are equally important.

Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to
change that.

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

 

 

Lando_Griffin wrote:As I've said in the past, sometimes with a little more gusto(!), women are brilliant for the first few days/weeks/months, (depending on their ability to resist their baser instincts). However, once they feel secure enough, they begin testing your commitment and love. These tests escalate until we men, due to severe fatigue and annoyance at the constant assault and apparent lack of reason, turn around and tell them to "b*llocks". This is a bad idea. We simply drop our resolve for one moment, and kiss goodbye to any chance of an amicable resolvement. With that one word, (or another of similar meaning), our lady-folk turn into wailing banshees. Gone is all resemblance to the woman we fell for. Instead, we are subjected to a crazed, wounded, half-starved Rottweiler routine. The only way you can find peace in a life lived with a woman, is to keep the body in a freezer.

Lando you have hit the nail on the head with this one.

babu wrote:I am in shape. Round is a shape.

.. you'll find it's a heart attack, stroke or heart desease case.. waiting to happen.. not to mention the colestoral and impotency..