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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 7:42 pm
by dawson99
k, couple more to keep u going
Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 7:43 pm
by dawson99
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:33 pm
by Woollyback
class ![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
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Posted:
Wed Jun 22, 2005 2:34 am
by Lando_Griffin
Besides, while I realise that not all women are jibbering, shopping-obsessed, dippy, walking dimwits, there are exceptions. I merely point out the flaws in the feminine side of humanity to avoid these exceptions getting big heads!!!!!
![tounge :p](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/tounge.gif)
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Posted:
Wed Jun 22, 2005 10:12 am
by Woollyback
Lando_Griffin wrote:The Return of the Judge wrote:lando, all your jokes are about women??
me thinks there is some underlying problem your not telling us
were you raped by a butch dyke or something?
![laugh :laugh:](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/laugh.gif)
Thats a true story!!!!
And no, I wasn't raped by a butch dyke. I was, however, savaged by an Avon lady!!!!!
![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
could've been worse, you could've been savaged by the ann summers lady and woken up with a peephole bra and a very, very sore bottom
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Posted:
Wed Jun 22, 2005 12:50 pm
by Judge
Woollyback wrote:Lando_Griffin wrote:The Return of the Judge wrote:lando, all your jokes are about women??
me thinks there is some underlying problem your not telling us
were you raped by a butch dyke or something?
![laugh :laugh:](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/laugh.gif)
Thats a true story!!!!
And no, I wasn't raped by a butch dyke. I was, however, savaged by an Avon lady!!!!!
![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
could've been worse, you could've been savaged by the ann summers lady and woken up with a peephole bra and a very, very sore bottom
woolly, with landoboy, what do you mean about ''couldve woken up....sore....etc''
he does that everyday ![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
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Posted:
Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:43 am
by 116-1104673748
A cruise ship has crashed due to the negligence of the crew.The case was dropped because all the witnesses were stuck on an island 100 miles away from the court.
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Posted:
Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:54 pm
by Lando_Griffin
The Return of the Judge wrote:Woollyback wrote:Lando_Griffin wrote:The Return of the Judge wrote:lando, all your jokes are about women??
me thinks there is some underlying problem your not telling us
were you raped by a butch dyke or something?
![laugh :laugh:](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/laugh.gif)
Thats a true story!!!!
And no, I wasn't raped by a butch dyke. I was, however, savaged by an Avon lady!!!!!
![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
could've been worse, you could've been savaged by the ann summers lady and woken up with a peephole bra and a very, very sore bottom
woolly, with landoboy, what do you mean about ''couldve woken up....sore....etc''
he does that everyday ![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
Judge, thats our secret, you kiss-and-teller!!!!!
![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
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Posted:
Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:09 pm
by Judge
i see youve eaten the chocolates already ![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
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Posted:
Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:12 pm
by Lando_Griffin
What!?! They were tasty....you'd have done the same!!!!! Thank God there was no fudge, though!!!!! ![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
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Posted:
Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:14 pm
by Judge
aye, and no chutney aswell!!!!! ![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)