At the cash machine earlier
Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 10:59 pma little old dear asked me to check her balance for her
so i pushed her over
so i pushed her over
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At the cash machine earlier
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Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 10:59 pmPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:09 pmGet yer fookin coat woolly!
Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:12 pmPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:13 pmBeat that, in the Natwest in Kirkby, someone gobbed all over the buttons on the cash machine, so I had to use the TSB one 
And one time someone puked all over the screen in the TSB by the Barracuda.
If anyone was looking for a punchline, there isnt one as thats a couple of my real life experiences.
Filthy Bastards
And one time someone puked all over the screen in the TSB by the Barracuda.
If anyone was looking for a punchline, there isnt one as thats a couple of my real life experiences.
Filthy Bastards
Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:32 pmI was watching this thing on the telly once, cracking story. I heard it was a real life drama. They made a film of it actually. Years ago like.....
This fella right, called Lloyd Christmas was mugged by a dear old lady. Shocked me it did. He had this budgie and it's head fell off.
He didnt even see it coming. Old ladies will have you off.
Lloyd travelled to Aspen, (bit of a skiing trip it was) though afterwards with a big fucking suitcase full of money with his friend Harry who he spiked a drink of his with laxatives. Shit himself everywhere and it might have ruined the day. Could have even ruined the friendship.
I'll be honest, Lloyd was cunning and Harry was inventive. They had been through a lot though. Once, they went to this diner with a hitchhiker and they put some chilli's on a hamburger.
Was supposed to be funny but the hitchiker ended up having a heart attack and he died. Laughing are you? Wasn't funny.
Funnily enough though, this is one of the funny bits of the story when people tell it..... sick bastards.... I don't know.........
There's a lesson to be learnt here.
But you will have to figure it out yourself. Its too easy for me to tell you. Some people are Dumb, some people are Dumber. Some people travel across America in the wrong direction, open shops called "I Got Worms" and know the Mockingbird song, whilst trading in a van which looks exactly like a dog for a moped, simultaneously making the most annoying sound in the world, buying orange suits and failing miserably to smash loads of glamour models who live on a coach.
So, has anyone got any similar stories to tell? Anyone seen this film by the way? I think Jim Carrey is in it......
This fella right, called Lloyd Christmas was mugged by a dear old lady. Shocked me it did. He had this budgie and it's head fell off.
He didnt even see it coming. Old ladies will have you off.
Lloyd travelled to Aspen, (bit of a skiing trip it was) though afterwards with a big fucking suitcase full of money with his friend Harry who he spiked a drink of his with laxatives. Shit himself everywhere and it might have ruined the day. Could have even ruined the friendship.
I'll be honest, Lloyd was cunning and Harry was inventive. They had been through a lot though. Once, they went to this diner with a hitchhiker and they put some chilli's on a hamburger.
Was supposed to be funny but the hitchiker ended up having a heart attack and he died. Laughing are you? Wasn't funny.
Funnily enough though, this is one of the funny bits of the story when people tell it..... sick bastards.... I don't know.........
There's a lesson to be learnt here.
But you will have to figure it out yourself. Its too easy for me to tell you. Some people are Dumb, some people are Dumber. Some people travel across America in the wrong direction, open shops called "I Got Worms" and know the Mockingbird song, whilst trading in a van which looks exactly like a dog for a moped, simultaneously making the most annoying sound in the world, buying orange suits and failing miserably to smash loads of glamour models who live on a coach.
So, has anyone got any similar stories to tell? Anyone seen this film by the way? I think Jim Carrey is in it......
Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:15 amjonnymac1979 wrote:I was watching this thing on the telly once, cracking story. I heard it was a real life drama. They made a film of it actually. Years ago like.....
This fella right, called Lloyd Christmas was mugged by a dear old lady. Shocked me it did. He had this budgie and it's head fell off.
He didnt even see it coming. Old ladies will have you off.
Lloyd travelled to Aspen, (bit of a skiing trip it was) though afterwards with a big fucking suitcase full of money with his friend Harry who he spiked a drink of his with laxatives. Shit himself everywhere and it might have ruined the day. Could have even ruined the friendship.
I'll be honest, Lloyd was cunning and Harry was inventive. They had been through a lot though. Once, they went to this diner with a hitchhiker and they put some chilli's on a hamburger.
Was supposed to be funny but the hitchiker ended up having a heart attack and he died. Laughing are you? Wasn't funny.
Funnily enough though, this is one of the funny bits of the story when people tell it..... sick bastards.... I don't know.........
There's a lesson to be learnt here.
But you will have to figure it out yourself. Its too easy for me to tell you. Some people are Dumb, some people are Dumber. Some people travel across America in the wrong direction, open shops called "I Got Worms" and know the Mockingbird song, whilst trading in a van which looks exactly like a dog for a moped, simultaneously making the most annoying sound in the world, buying orange suits and failing miserably to smash loads of glamour models who live on a coach.
So, has anyone got any similar stories to tell? Anyone seen this film by the way? I think Jim Carrey is in it......
Rings a bell I bought it for a fiver out of HMV
Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:38 amWas Jeff Daniels in it as well? Can't remember what it was called. Something about Dumb..... dumbness, dumber, something like that.
Damn my long term memory!!!
Damn my long term memory!!!
Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:53 amjonnymac1979 wrote:Was Jeff Daniels in it as well? Can't remember what it was called. Something about Dumb..... dumbness, dumber, something like that.
Damn my long term memory!!!
Dumb and Dumber
They made Dumb and Dumberer a few years later
Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:10 amHurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry Harry!
Swansonite - I was way off!
Awesome
Swansonite - I was way off!
Awesome
Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:32 amFeeney wrote:Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry Harry!
Swansonite - I was way off!
Awesome
Who asked you Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 2:35 amJeff Daniels