Smart ****** answers
Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 12:56 pmSmart 
Answer #6:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a beat....she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
*****************
Smart Answer #5:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."
*******************
Smart Answer #4:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The
kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
*******************
Smart Answer #3:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, " Low Bridge Ahead ." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, " No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
FUEL ."
*******************
Smart Answer #2:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class,
I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled
knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess
you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
Smart Answer #1:
Reported says to Sven Goran Ericsson " do you still believe
you have brought the right squad for England to win the
World Cup... Sven says.... Yes
WHAT A N0B ED!
Answer #6: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a beat....she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
*****************
Smart
Answer #5: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."
*******************
Smart
Answer #4: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The
kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
*******************
Smart
Answer #3: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, " Low Bridge Ahead ." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, " No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
FUEL ."
*******************
Smart
Answer #2: A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class,
I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart
guy in the back of the room raised his hand andasked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled
knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess
you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
Smart
Answer #1:Reported says to Sven Goran Ericsson " do you still believe
you have brought the right squad for England to win the
World Cup... Sven says.... Yes
WHAT A N0B ED!
