I know we all like to have a laugh at the barcodes because of their delusions of granduer and folly in the transfer market, but objectively, I cannot understand why Newcastle football club are not consistently better as a football team than they actually are.
They have a big support, home and away, and potentially, St. James' Park should be an intimidating place to visit.
They also have a reasonable name about Europe in that foreign players know who Newcastle are, because of their occasional European foray and the fact that for 3 or 4 years in the 1990s, they gave plenty of entertainment just as Skysports took off.
They never seem to have trouble in getting players to join them.
What gives? Why aren't the consistently better than they actually are? Surely, if you look at it, they have more resources than many clubs who routinely play in the Champions League. They are a financially more powerful club than at least half of the 32 sides that play every year in the Champions League, and mostly, that is without the benefit of the monies a good European run brings.
There are many reasons, I think. However, the two primary reasons are:
1. The expectations of the fans. The Toon Army demand attacking, almost Brazilian, football which Kevin Keegan brought them. Kenny Daglish actually made Newcastle a decent side for a while playing a more pragmatic game, but he was hounded out of it. Matters are not helped also by the fact that Newcastle fans have utterly unrealistic expectations on the players and manager, thinking that they should be in the Champions League positions every year (as if by right) and competing well in the cups. This hasn't happened for a few years now.
2. Freddie Shepherd: in some ways, Shepherd is a great chairman. He always backs up his managers with hard cash. Money is always found, and players are played huge wages. However, in almost every other aspect, Shepherd is a terrible chairman, from slagging his own fans, to consistently making the wrong managerial choices, to putting huge and unnecessary pressure on the manager.
What Newcastle need is new management. Guys that understand football and have patience. Guys prepared to see the bigger picture, build for the long term.
Graeme Souness is a sitting duck and won't last at Newcastle much longer. What they need is a new manager, young and hungry, with a long term vision. A guy that is tough enough not to bow to criticism from the fans.
If I were Newcastle, I'd try to ride out this season and then concentrate all of my energy on attracting a top class manager next season. I'd let Alan Shearer retire and let him go and make a few easy pounds from tv for a few years. I wouldn't keep Shearer on board in any shape or form: a new manager does not want Shearer lurking in the wings, trying to call the shots.
If I were this new manager, I'd clear the decks of most of the current players. Michael Owen and Albert Luque clearly do not want to be at Newcastle any more/never wanted to be there in the first place. Both could be sold and £20million could be recouped. I'd let Titus Bramble go - for free if necessary - and sell Alain Boumsong, a poor defender, but one with a big enough name such to fetch a reasonable pricetag on the continent. I'd let Bowyer go, like Bramble, for free if necessary. I'd sell Dyer in a heartbeat, and wouldn't haggle too much over the price. I'd also clear out Amdy Faye, Celestine Babayaro and Steve Carr, and rule out any return of Jonathon Woodgate, a talented player but one with a horrid injury record.
I'd start at the back, bringing in tough and unspectacular defenders. I'd concentrate on youth but would try to bring in one experienced centre half, one who has campaigned extensively in European competition.
With Owen going and Shearer retiring, a few forwards wouldn't go amiss. I'd buy two young players and perhaps a more experienced forward who could lead the line for two or three seasons.
I'd play unspectacular but pragmatic football with an empahsis on hard work, closing down the opposition and keeping things tight. I'd resist all fans demands for attacking footballers and flair players and focus my first season or so on making the side hard to beat. I wouldn't win any friends but I'd try to lay the groundwork for a tough and hard working team, a bit like Mark Hughes' Blackburn.
In my second season, I'd try to add one or two more creative players and try to improve on the creative side of the team, while maintaining the hard working and "keeping it simple" ethic. I'd stick to this with the goal of making the side truly competitive over the next 4 years. I'd resist all pressures to buy big stars or quick fixes, like Kluivert.
And if I were the chairman, I'd back the manager and make no unrealistic demands. If I were the chairman, I'd ignore the pressures from the fans and let the manager get on with the job.
Newcastle are a joke, but in 21st century football, the potential is there, under the right circumstances, for a great club side to be built. Not many of the current players would contribute - with the possible exceptions of Given and Parker (for me, Luque and Owen won't hang around) - but the support is there, the money is there, the stadium is there, and if the club were to show some foresight and patience in their conviction, they could really build something.
What they need to do first is to have Freddie Shephard stand aside and a more pragmatic and sensible man step in. However, I appreciate that this is like asking Tony Blair to hand over the keys of 10 Downing Street to Gordon Brown: it won't happen without things getting nasty. If, hypothetically, this new man did manage to take charge, a hungry young manager on a long contract with pretty much a blank cheque to do what he wants would have to be put in place. Again, easier said than done, but Newcastle have considerable resources, and instead of spending their summers chasing Michael Owens, they should put all their time and effort into attracting a top manager to Tyneside, and when this guy is in place, back him up and support him.
Newcastle have more potential than most European teams (by "most" I mean more potential than most of the European sides outside of the G14) but with Shepherd at the helm, it doesn't look good for them.
They will eventually get it right though, although how long "eventually" means depends on how long Shepherd hangs around and whether they can resist the forces which sucked Leeds under.