Liverpool FC Forum

by **andy_g** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:39 am

p!ssing all over the inside of your kecks is a genuine hazard when having a dump. its happened to me before so now i always carry a roll of gaffer tape to stick it to the inside of the rim, thus leaving my hands free for other tasks.

by **Roger Red Hat** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:30 am

andy_g wrote:p!ssing all over the inside of your kecks is a genuine hazard when having a dump. its happened to me before so now i always carry a roll of gaffer tape to stick it to the inside of the rim, thus leaving my hands free for other tasks.

lol love it

by **PhiLFC** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 7:02 pm

Lee J wrote:what do you do about your dangler whilst your passing a 'richard the third'?

I tend to hold it down under the rim of the seat and kind of point it otherwise disaster strikes like it did a year or two ago when I didn't have control over it. I was busy texting and I started to p!ss. Only I got this warm feeling as my 'three for a bob' had directed the pee through the gap between seat and pot. I'd lagged all over me strides and me legs.

ha ha ha ha ha yeh I've been there mate. I can't stand it when the old german helmet touches the rim or the underside of the seat - makes me fuckin cringe :no

also splashback to my "balloon knot" ... just the thought of it.

Got caught short once when I went for a run and ended up taking a dump in a field and using my underpants to wipe my arse... it made for an interesting run back to my house. It was back in the early 80's when you wore tight nylon shorts - like the guy out of Tight Fit... the Lion was red raw

by **Sabre** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:23 pm

You wanna kill me lads? I'm dying of laughter here.

I thought only in Spain we could talk naturally about these things, I thought you were too civilised for that

I'm crying here.

I think I got what turtle head means

but what's a Richard the III?

by **Woollyback** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:50 pm

Sabre wrote:what's a Richard the III?

rhyming slang - richard the third = turd :buttrock

forest gump = dump

eartha kitt = sh1t

mr magoo = poo

:nod

by **Ciggy** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:56 pm

Sabre wrote:You wanna kill me lads? I'm dying of laughter here.

I thought only in Spain we could talk naturally about these things, I thought you were too civilised for that I'm crying here.

I think I got what turtle head means but what's a Richard the III?

Whats poo in spanish Sabre

by **Emerald Red** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:03 pm

Lovely thread, fellas.

Though most things of the above can be quoted for truth.

by **RUSHIE#9** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:18 pm

Lee J wrote:what do you do about your dangler whilst your passing a 'richard the third'?

I tend to hold it down under the rim of the seat and kind of point it otherwise disaster strikes like it did a year or two ago when I didn't have control over it. I was busy texting and I started to p!ss. Only I got this warm feeling as my 'three for a bob' had directed the pee through the gap between seat and pot. I'd lagged all over me strides and me legs.

Kin 'ell I'm crying here!! :laugh:

Positioning of the old dangler is a problem but I always wrap a bit of the old bog roll round the seat just to stop the helmet hitting the seat!!

Had an incident a couple of years back in work when I went for an Anfield Rap. Somebody was already in one of the stalls so I head for the furthest one from him to shed me load. Sat there having me dump when this fella in the far stall let rip with what has to be the loudest, longest fucking ripper I've ever heard. I swear to this day the friggin' stalls were rattle in their fixtures for a good 30 seconds after he stopped. Worse followed though, this guy must have been baking that turd for the best part of a week. I've never wiped so quick in all me life, must of got a hundred paper cuts on me erse from the cheap shitty bog roll in me desperation to get ouuta there!!!

SHIT at work at you peril has been my motto from that day!!

by **Roger Red Hat** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:37 pm

i sat for 10 minutes today in total silence while the guy in the next trap had a dump. in the end i gave the nervous bog cough and started whistling. wtf? why did i start whistling? im a muppet

by **Kharhaz** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:43 pm

Lee J wrote:i sat for 10 minutes today in total silence while the guy in the next trap had a dump. in the end i gave the nervous bog cough and started whistling. wtf? why did i start whistling? im a muppet

Always makes me laugh the ones who are trying to be discreet. Seriously although a bit embarrasing at first just let rip. Dont just bake the cake decorate it ! The farts, the drops and above all else the stench once your done dont flush. Take a photo of your "art" and send it to your missus or brother/sister and/or roll a fag. You must ensure that stench can make its presence known all around the room before you flush only then can you be known as the toilet god !

by **Roger Red Hat** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:18 am

and I thought I had issues. Take a picture of it?

by **woof woof !** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:26 am

Lee J wrote:i sat for 10 minutes today in total silence while the guy in the next trap had a dump. in the end i gave the nervous bog cough and started whistling. wtf? why did i start whistling? im a muppet

, What were you whistling ? (could have a direct bearing on your level of muppetness)

by **dawson99** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:33 am

nothing beats this for tales frrom trap 1

michael and Peter

by **woof woof !** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:35 am

Lee J caught whistling in the bog

:laugh:

by **112-1077774096** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:41 am

dawson99 wrote:nothing beats this for tales frrom trap 1

michael and Peter

i love this clip

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