
ivor_the_injun wrote:Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...
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"Hello?"
"Hello-a Leevapool - this is Mardreed"
"Ah right. Hi"
"We like-a our, how you say? Meester Michael. Heez leg a little broken right now, but he such a sweet boy. Thank you for make-a the deal-a possible so we buy him"
"That's quite alright. Thanks for letting us have Nunez"
"I'm-a sorry, who?"
"Nunez, you know, the guy you sent over as part of the deal"
"Nunez?"
"Yeah, Nunez"
"I'm-a sorry, I think-a you're mistaken"
"No, you sent us over a lad called Nunez along with the £9m for Owen - the best young player since Cheyrou, you said?"
"Ah-a - Juanfran, you mean?"
"Yeah, we wanted Juanfran, but you gave us this Nunez instead"
"No, no, no - that cannot be Maaadreeed. The only Nunez I know cleans my windows and washes my cars. I haven't seen him around for a while, h-actuarrrly. You mistaken, no?"
"Whatever...was there anything else?"
"Ah yes-a - Mr Michael tell us about his friend, Stevie Gerrard-io"
"I've been told I'm not allowed to talk to you about him"
"Oh but think of Mr Michael. He miss his friend ever-so"
"I really can't talk to you about him"
"But I just mean he maybe come over for, how you say, 'holiday' time with Mr Michael?"
"I don't know, I really shouldn't talk about Stevie"
"But sometimes Mr Liverpool, Michael he cry because he miss-a his friend so so much"
"I feel for the lad, I really do"
"And it just be a one-a, two-a day holiday"
"Well, I guess that doesn't sound too bad"
"Good, good - I don't mean to keep him when-a you need him, I know he play beautiful football for you on-a weekend. So, you send him over on-a, let's see, September 20th?"
"Ah, but you see - we've got a game that day. Against Manchester United"
"Ah - Manchester. We have a player who used to play for them, you know?"
"Yeah, we know"
"He give balls so, so golden, you know?"
"Right"
"He invite-a me and Mr Michael to dinner a couple times with his wife lady. Such a beautiful wife lady, especial-a for her age..."
"Right, but you understand Stevie can't go over on the 20th?"
"You like-a cars, Mr Liverpool?"
"Er...I suppose so, yeah. But you know..."
"I have the beeegest collection-a cars in Madrid you know?"
"That's really interesting, but you understand about the game on the 20th..."
"Sometimes I just think - hey! I go buy a car today. You know?"
"Right, but you see...(ringing in background)...ah - that's another call. Can you hang on while I take this?"
"I can't even-a think of how many cars I have-a right-a now..."
"(still ringing)Yeah, but I need to take this, so if you can just hang on..."
"Maybe I have 30 cars? I not-a sure..."
"I'm really, really going to have to take this call..."
"You like girls, Mr Liverpool?"
"What? Sure, whatever..."
"How about music, I bet you listen-a the Beatles all the while-a, hah?"
"Yeah, but I'm on another call, so if you can just hang on..."
"So that's-a agreed? You send-a Mr Stevie and his agent over to me on the 20th?"
"Yeah, okay, but I have to take this call..."
"<click.....brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr>"
"Er, I mean no - we've got a game on the 20th..."
"<brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr>"
"Oh f*cking hell..."
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