Lando_Griffin wrote:Right - no-one get the p*ss on or your knickers in a twist - if this offends anyone, I will be more than happy to remove it:
A Taliban suicide bomber pulls the plug and explodes........................BOOM!!!
A short while later he finds himself on a huge white staircase leading towards the heavens, so he starts climbing up. After an hour of hard climbing, he arrives at a landing where an old man in white robes with a long flowing beard is sitting surrounded by ledgers.
'Excuse me sir' he says 'are you Mohammed?'
'No' replies the old man, 'I am St Peter, Mohammed is further up the stairs'.
'But this is wonderful news' screams the bomber, 'Mohammed is higher than St Peter! I can hardly believe it.'
With this he carries on climbing up the stairs. After an hour or so of hard climbing he arrives at another landing. Standing on the landing is a serene looking man with long hair and a long white beard. 'Excuse me sir' he says 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No' replies the old man, 'I am Jesus, Mohammed is further up the stairs'.
'But this is amazing news' screams the bomber, 'Mohammed is higher than Jesus!I can hardly believe it, martyrdom is wonderful!!!'
With this he carries on climbing up the stairs. After another hour or so of hard climbing he arrives on a huge landing. There, sitting on a magnificent throne is another old man, with flowing white robes, beard and long white hair. 'Excuse me sir' he says 'are you Mohammed?'
'No' replies the old man, 'I am God.'
'But this is absolutely amazing news' screams the bomber, 'Mohammed is higher than God! I am so happy I can't believe it, martyrdom is more than wonderful!!!'
'You look tired my son' said God 'would you like to sit down and rest a while?'
'Oh yes' replied the bomber 'I am very tired and would love a rest before I carry on, thank you.'
The bomber sits down and God says
'You look thirsty my son, would you like a cup of tea?'
'Oh yes please' replies the bomber 'I am most thirsty, thank you.'
With this God turns and snaps his fingers and shouts 'Oy, Mohammed, two teas over here, and make it snappy !!
