Which is a surprise, because I had no idea we were relegated from the Premiership last season.
We play a team called Porto, which I believe is landlocked.
They come from a country called Portugal, which belongs to Spain. Collectively they form a piece of land called "Iberia", no doubt named after the famous airline.
Porto play at the famous Estadio De Dragoneria. In fact Portugal is home to a flock of one of the world's few remaining real dragons. At a recent Porto vs Benfica game, several away supporters were killed WHEN THE FOUL BEASTS WITH SCALES DESCENDED IN A FIERY WAVE OF DESTRUCTION.
The game ended in a draw.
The city of Porto was named after the famous alcoholic drink of "port". Inspired by this, the city of Manchester will soon change its name to "WKD"
Porto also has the highest rate of TB sufferers in mainland Europe. In a completely unrelated fact, they also have a thriving leech breeding industry.
In 1995 Portugal spent eight hundred million pesos building this large dome:
What is inside it you may ask? How the fook should I know?
Portugal reached the final of EURO 2004 (which took place in 2006) but were beaten by Albania in the final.
Porto won the 2004 European Cup by beating Monaco 23-nil in the final. Princess Stephanie was sacked as Monaco manager shortly thereafter.
Famous residents of Portugal include Cristiano Ronaldo (seen here with the yellow cap)
Genius mate.
