Liverpool FC Forum

by **Roger Red Hat** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:08 am

true. i wouldnt touch a sweaty kebab if i were sober but after a skin full its all i crave. same goes for a sweaty bird too. wouldnt touch her unless i was steaming.

by **66-1112520797** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:13 am

Lee J wrote:true. i wouldnt touch a sweaty kebab if i were sober but after a skin full its all i crave. same goes for a sweaty bird too. wouldnt touch her unless i was steaming.

Amen to that brother.

by **Ace Ventura** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:36 am

Leonmc0708 wrote:One of the lads from by me, MArk Temperton once came in and threw a few pieces of toast and some hash browns under the grill afer a noight out.

Then he promptly fell asleep on the couch.

Got woke up by the Firemen as they hosed down the burning cinders of his Ma's house.

I am a nightmare when i come home bevvied and have been told am not allowed to cook when i get home.
I've put pies in the oven before and woke up when the smoke alarm was going off, only thing is...i had only just moved into the house, it was me birds house and she was on holiday. I was that lashed even when i woke i thought it was the house alarm, messed about with that for ages, then turned off the fuse box thinking that might shut the noise up.
It was going off for about 40 minutes and i was sitting there in darkness fuming. Proper dead loud this alarm must of woke up half the street.
Then me bird phones the house phone from Spain....obviously hears the noise, and informs me...'thats the smoke alarm its halfway up the stairs on the wall, why what have you burnt ?'

You would of thought that might of taught me a lesson, but a drunk man always has to get a munch

by **woof woof !** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:49 am

Ace Ventura wrote:Proper dead loud this alarm must of woke up half the street.
Then me bird phones the house phone from Spain....obviously hears the noise,

F'uck me

, yer bird heard it in spain ?

That must have been some monster of an alarm .

by **GRAHAM01** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:15 am

Lee J wrote:
GRAHAM01 wrote:the moral to this story is always get a kabab on the way home

correct. only I got a kicking for getting chilli sauce all over me shoes and down me shirt.

yep been there aswell but she was right on one when i dropped one on the sofa once my god you would have thought i had killed someone she went nuts

funny as hell

she wouldn`t talk to me for days :buttrock

by **Roger Red Hat** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:17 am

woof woof ! wrote:
Ace Ventura wrote:Proper dead loud this alarm must of woke up half the street.
Then me bird phones the house phone from Spain....obviously hears the noise,

F'uck me , yer bird heard it in spain ?

That must have been some monster of an alarm .

i was in Florida at the time and i heard it too.

by **GRAHAM01** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:42 am

Lee J wrote:
woof woof ! wrote:
Ace Ventura wrote:Proper dead loud this alarm must of woke up half the street.
Then me bird phones the house phone from Spain....obviously hears the noise,

F'uck me , yer bird heard it in spain ?

That must have been some monster of an alarm .

i was in Florida at the time and i heard it too.

and there was me thinking they were tough on letting animals in to america :rasp

by **Ace Ventura** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:48 am

woof woof ! wrote:
Ace Ventura wrote:Proper dead loud this alarm must of woke up half the street.
Then me bird phones the house phone from Spain....obviously hears the noise,

F'uck me , yer bird heard it in spain ?

That must have been some monster of an alarm .

Haha, what i meant is that she heard it while she was on the phone smart a'se

by **woof woof !** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:52 am

Although failing in my accidental attempt to set the kitchen on fire I almost succeeded in immolating myself when I once set fire to my bed twice in the same night .

Decided to go to bed whilst puffing on a large spliff , woke up some time later with the pillow smoldering away and a patch of glowing embers the size of a dinner plate glowing through the mattress. Chucked the pillow outside, poured a pan of water onto the burning area of the mattress , turned the mattress around , got back into bed and went back to sleep. Woke up some time later with really hot feet , threw back the covers to find the the bottom third of the mattress from one side to another merrily burning away.

Mattress end up in the garden , Woof kips on couch.

The only upside , I was single at the time so nobody spent the rest of their lives bending my ear about it , I just nipped out the next day and bought a new mattress, no drama.

by **stmichael** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 11:55 am

woof woof. the only dog with more than nine lives

by **woof woof !** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:06 pm

stmichael wrote:woof woof. the only dog with more than nine lives

Mate your not wrong .
Fires aside

Once got washed off a rock into an underwater cave by a massive wave.

Running down a heavily forested mountain almost ran off a cliff.

Smashed into the back of two cars when the brakes on me bike failed (walked away with out a scratch)

plus numerous other incidents .

Don't think I'm in credit anymore

by **stmichael** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:17 pm

woof woof ! wrote:
stmichael wrote:woof woof. the only dog with more than nine lives

Mate your not wrong .
Fires aside

Once got washed off a rock into an underwater cave by a massive wave.

Running down a heavily forested mountain almost ran off a cliff.

Smashed into the back of two cars when the brakes on me bike failed (walked away with out a scratch)

plus numerous other incidents .

Don't think I'm in credit anymore

what a night that was

by **username** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:49 pm

ive only caused 2 fires... one was by putting a bread in a toaster... most toasters pop up after time, but the toast got jammed in, so it couldnt pop up, and if it wasnt up, it was on (way toaster worked) lets get say i needed a new toaster

2nd was when i was little, i was getting :censored:

of by a moth flying in my room, in flew into this lamp thing, which i traped it in with a magazine... which then fell onto the lightbulb, and got a nice little fire going

by **Ace Ventura** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 4:58 pm

My younger brother when we were kids burnt one of the bedrooms really bad.
Think he would of been about 5 or 6 so i would of been 7 or 8, he shouts me from the stairs...come and see the fireworks.
I still remember this clear as if it was yesterday...i got upto about the 3rd stair (from the bottom) looked up and seen all light flickering all on the landing, i walked further up to see pure flames coming out of one of the bedrooms, me little brother is standing at the top of the stairs big grin on his face

I grabbed his arm pulled him down and shouted me mum, the bedroom was f'cked and so was all the wallpaper on the landing.
I havent got a clue how he started it though.

He is still a weird f'cker to this day as well :laugh:

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