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by **maypaxvobiscum** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:59 pm

Sabre wrote:
Lee J wrote:I mean, how would you react if you'd come home to find some guy boning ya bird/missus?

If she hasn't told the guy she's married then really the bloke aint doing owt wrong, she's at fault.

Yeh, but not every guy around will see things like the bloke you met.

Unfortunately.

what do u mean ''unfortunately'' huh?

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:02 pm

chop off his dick and make him eat it. as for her, use an electric drill on her pussy.

yeah. thats what maypax would do.

by **LFC2007** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:24 pm

Maypax, you need to wash your mouth out with carbolic soap. QUICK.

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:58 pm

and then i will poke a straw into his eyeballs and make him suck all the juice out.

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:52 am

i was watching Grey's Anatomy the other day and there was an episode where this middle aged couple had to be sent to the hospital because during intercourse, the man's joystick got stuck inside. The cause of it was actually due to the fact the lady had a piercing somewhere down there. But other then piercings, it is possible, no? Anyone been lucky enough to be in such a situation?

by **Roger Red Hat** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:38 am

there was the woman who decided she'd get fk'd by the cars gearstick and the suction up her chuff caused a vacuum and she couldnt get off. Love to have been the fireman getting that call out!!

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:42 pm

this is off topic but may i ask....are there any cure for panic attacks during sex?

by **Wilhelmsson** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:17 pm

maypaxvobiscum wrote:this is off topic but may i ask....are there any cure for panic attacks during sex?

You can have a panic attack during sex? What kind of sex are you into friend?

by **destro** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:23 pm

maypaxvobiscum wrote:this is off topic but may i ask....are there any cure for panic attacks during sex?

Can you be more specific ? What sort of panic attack, the type when you are in bed with your birds sister and she comes home, or a married woman and her husband comes home ?

by **maypaxvobiscum** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:08 pm

no guys. my girlfriend's doctor attempted to rape her when she was 16 and since then like today while we were at it she had a panic attack where she starts to breathe heavily and her chest feels constricted. and she sweats and she was kinda in tears. traumatic incident. and my girl hasnt exactly had the best of lifestyles ( 6 suicide attempts and others i shall not mention but u get the idea) and im trying to erase her ugly past. bit by bit she is improving. but yeah panic attacks during sex. we decided to not do it for awhile. thats the panic attacks im referring to, when you suddenly start imagining things. i know psychotherapy works but she says her parents wont wanna listen.

by **Rafa D** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:32 pm

Fu*king hell mate.

That sounds harsh as fu'ck.

Hope your girlfriend gets better and learns to forget about scum like that.

by **ConnO'var** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:15 pm

The Ace1983 wrote:For a list of the best innuendos in the world, listen to The Bloodhound Gang's Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo.
My personal favourite is "Park the beef bus in tuna town".

Freakin' funny thread this.... and speaking of innuendoes...; my favourites are from the outtakes from the movie "Grumpier Old Men"...

Check this out from youtube.

Grumpier Old Men Outtakes

Brilliant movie btw....

by **Keris** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:17 am

maypaxvobiscum wrote:my girl hasnt exactly had the best of lifestyles ( 6 suicide attempts and others i shall not mention but u get the idea)

Good lord mate, your girl needs help, and fast. 1 attempt is already bad but 6??!! :no

Good luck mate, I hope u'll be able to turn her life around.

by **Roger Red Hat** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:24 pm

why is it that when you have a w@nk then go for a p!ss straight after it stings like billy-o?

It's unbearable.

why is this?

by **Igor Zidane** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:57 pm

Why is it ,when you've just finished having a jump and you wipe your bellend on the wife's nighty , she gets a cob on?

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