Liverpool FC Forum

by **woof woof !** » Sun Jul 22, 2007 6:16 am

Ciggy wrote:Had visions of meself, hands on his @rse and a big gust of wind blowing them off ergh

by **GRAHAM01** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:49 am

hope you all know that if your lazy in the sack a fattie is the best thing for you as you can jump on slap the sides and ride the ripples

by **66-1112520797** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 11:09 am

GRAHAM01 wrote:hope you all know that if your lazy in the sack a fattie is the best thing for you as you can jump on slap the sides and ride the ripples

Why would you do that if your lazy to begin with, I'd rather lie back and let em ride me.

by **GRAHAM01** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 11:28 am

would you really want some this that heavy on top of you???

but then it does depend on how chubby they are

by **Big Niall** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 11:53 am

Met a venezuelan woman who was about 5 years older than me on Friday night after about 7 pints, swapped numbers etc, she rang me Saturday morning and arranged to meet in pub across road from her hotel room, she was defo on for it. When She came into the bar she was about 10 years older than my beer goggles had saw.

She invited me back to hers but I just couldn't. She was still in good shape and looked well but she must have been close to 50, I'm 32.

Maybe we need an oldie thread

by **GRAHAM01** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 12:10 pm

Big Niall wrote:Met a venezuelan woman who was about 5 years older than me on Friday night after about 7 pints, swapped numbers etc, she rang me Saturday morning and arranged to meet in pub across road from her hotel room, she was defo on for it. When She came into the bar she was about 10 years older than my beer goggles had saw.

She invited me back to hers but I just couldn't. She was still in good shape and looked well but she must have been close to 50, I'm 32.

Maybe we need an oldie thread

an oldies thread depends on your own age at the time of the deed

the biggest age gap i had was 17 years, i was 17 she was 34 but she was a fit 34 and to be honest i didn`t care back then any hole was a goal and my god she went hell for leather on me, and i was very greatful :eyebrow

she was a stable girl for one of the local farms and she had thighs to die for ( from the horse riding ) and one of the most flexable woman i have ever been with

i can`t say i would go for a golden oldie that`s just not my thing, but i do know a bloke from work who loves the thought of the older woman and i mean old he is 30 and he talks about 60plus woman

that`s just not my thing no no no

by **Red @ Heart** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 12:31 pm

how a bout a dirty fattie? as in hygeine, you know like with enough smeg to fill a tub of philadelphia, i had one simular to that once, was going to do some dirty on her down south in the shower noticed a bit of philldelphia in the flange and stood up leaving my hand there to clean up before i went to round 2, was well put off by this, and never went back again.

she was norwegian.

by **dawson99** » Mon Jul 23, 2007 12:31 pm

i did the head chef (female) when i went to calella on holiday. she fits into both categories... unsurprisingly i had alcohol poisoning the next day

also, 'had' a 46 yr old when i was 22, but she was fantastic!!!

oh memories

by **jonnymac1979** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 9:33 pm

Saw one of my ex-fatties in the boozer on Sunday. Needless to say, I hid.

I've seen the greasy chubbs quite a few times actually since that night. I didn't wear specs when I rattled her though and I had quite short hair. Now I have floppyish long-ish hair (getting it trimmed Saturday though ladies... :;):

) and I wear specs pretty much all the time (woke up in them the next morning a few times after a heavy session on the booze) - and she doesn't fucking recognise me. :laugh:

Don't know if I should take offence or not. Luckily, I don't care for such things like fat birds ignoring me, so that's that.

by **jonnymac1979** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 9:42 pm

woof woof ! wrote:Apart from Fatties and assorted hunchbacks, headcases etc . How many different nationalities have you bonked and what was your favourite ?

Five Nationalities. Actually, does Northern Ireland and Republic of Ireland count twice, otherwise it's six...?

Favourite?

Gotta be the Geordie.

"Fuck us, man!!!"

by **dawson99** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 9:46 pm

disregarding headcases im probably a virgin if you disregard them!

by **shanks72** » Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:41 pm

jonnymac1979 wrote:Now I have floppyish long-ish hair [b](getting it trimmed Saturday though ladies...

Awww, Jonny.... leave it long, lol..

(btw I'm not flirting, garcia if you're reading this.... :lookaround

)

by **daxy1** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:06 am

jonnymac1979 wrote:
woof woof ! wrote:Apart from Fatties and assorted hunchbacks, headcases etc . How many different nationalities have you bonked and what was your favourite ?

Five Nationalities. Actually, does Northern Ireland and Republic of Ireland count twice, otherwise it's six...?

Favourite?

Gotta be the Geordie.

"Fuck us, man!!!"

i lived with a geordie bird she was from wallsend mad head she was
smacked me a few times (i loved it) proper head case she left me some message on freinds reunited did i fook return the message im rackin me head with the fattie birds im sure theres more

another question how many birds have you slept with i consider mine quite high due to being a bouncer from the age of 16 upwards (allways wore a nodder though)

by **Dalglish** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:14 am

If there is a funnier thread on this forum i've yet to read it.

Brutally honest and side splittingly funny..............

Top 5 Quotes from this thread.

5. "How about a dirty fattie? as in hygiene, you know like with enough smeg to fill a tub of Philadelphia" (Red At Heart)

4. “I saw one of my ex-fatties in the boozer on Sunday. Needless to say, I hid.” (Johnny Mac)

3. I will just make you all aware that I did NOT want to go through with this but she locked the door and I couldn't see where she had hid the key. (Lee J)

2. Without a word she approached the bed , set down the candle , hitched up her nightgown and sat on my face ! Lads, I was blowing bubbles out of my f'ucking ears . I was torn between a feeling of compassion and the desire to throw up as this creature bore down on my face with increasing ferocity, but when she started to yodel I thought "fu'ck, at this rate she's was gonna break my teeth" (Woof Woof)

1. “she goes on to mention how she could grow better facial hair than him and how she irons her shirts over a wok” (Peewee)

:laugh:

by **jonnymac1979** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:41 am

daxy1 wrote:another question how many birds have you slept with i consider mine quite high due to being a bouncer from the age of 16 upwards (allways wore a nodder though)

I estimate around 25 - 30. :blush:

I'd be interested in a way to see if I sat down and worked it out but am I fuck going to do that. I'd rather not know. A lot of them shouldn't count.

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