Liverpool FC Forum

by **Bad Bob** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:20 pm

Hollywood's hip to Sabre's scene!

by **Rafa D** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:22 pm

Sabre bashing the lines out for the laydee's and back to his for a sex party!! :laugh:

by **112-1077774096** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 2:31 am

when i was at uni there was a welsh girl who fancied me, she had a great body but a big nose. anyway one night she had a party and i was invited, i went along with my bottle of jack daniels for company (now you can see where the story is going).

anyway i proceeded to drink the bottle, giving a few drinks to others and totally ignored the welsh girl with the great body and big nose. as the night went on another girl from uni sidled up, anyway this girls face was a cross between dusty springfield and a sh*tzu dog, she was also hefty as she played rugby for the uni.

anyway in my drunken state i thought i would give her the benefit of my wisdom (being a mature student and all) and take her back to my house. we called a taxi and the taxi turned up complete with the obligatory asian driver (in preston) and we went back to my place.

anyway i boned her all over the house (not my finest moment and we fell asleep, in the morning we woke up and she said "you should be ashamed'. now i didnt know if i had done anything the night before to be ashamed about or if she meant i should be ashamed for porking a chunkster so i came out with the reply "the only shame I have is waking up next to a pig like you".

anyway she cried and left (thank god), sadly she also worked in a bar with my mate and refused to serve me when i went in that night and she spilled the beans about what i said. then when i got a taxi home it was the same driver as the night before, i was with my mates and the driver shouted " hey how was the fat girl last night"?

oh the shame

by **babu** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 2:54 am

as a wise woman once said 'a standing cock has no conscience'

same woman also said 'if you tell your mate's, i will bitch slap you up and down the street'. I am assuming telling people on the internet would be worse, so i'll keep my hefty stories to myself.

by **Bad Bob** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:43 am

babu wrote:as a wise woman once said 'a standing cock has no conscience'

same woman also said 'if you tell your mate's, i will bitch slap you up and down the street'. I am assuming telling people on the internet would be worse, so i'll keep my hefty stories to myself.

Coward!

(Plus, don't think I didn't notice the plural there!

)

by **LFC #1** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:49 am

peewee wrote:the only shame I have is waking up next to a pig like you

brilliant! :laugh:

by **66-1112520797** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 7:23 am

Shouldnt be saying this

A few years back I was in Sydney, pi$$ed off my t!ts in a nightclub. And I remember going back to this big munters house somewhere in Sydney. I had to role her around in flour just to find the wet spot. Trust me guys I was that pi$$ed I hardly remembered a thing.

But I woke up the next morning to find, that I'd pi$$sed all over her in the night as I was so drunk, crept out the bed put me clothes on and out the door I went.

Anyway she deserved being pi$$ed on, taking an advantage of a slim handsome drunken man like that is just not on.

by **account deleted by request** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:15 am

Bamaga man wrote:Shouldnt be saying this

A few years back I was in Sydney, pi$$ed off my t!ts in a nightclub. And I remember going back to this big munters house somewhere in Sydney. I had to role her around in flour just to find the wet spot. Trust me guys I was that pi$$ed I hardly remembered a thing.

But I woke up the next morning to find, that I'd pi$$sed all over her in the night as I was so drunk, crept out the bed put me clothes on and out the door, didnt know where I was.

Anyway she deserved being pi$$ed on, taking an advantage of a slim handsome drunken man like that is just not on.

by **daxy1** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:36 am

Bamaga man wrote:Shouldnt be saying this

A few years back I was in Sydney, pi$$ed off my t!ts in a nightclub. And I remember going back to this big munters house somewhere in Sydney. I had to role her around in flour just to find the wet spot. Trust me guys I was that pi$$ed I hardly remembered a thing.

But I woke up the next morning to find, that I'd pi$$sed all over her in the night as I was so drunk, crept out the bed put me clothes on and out the door, didnt know where I was.

Anyway she deserved being pi$$ed on, taking an advantage of a slim handsome drunken man like that is just not on.

you dirty b@stard! :bowdown

by **woof woof !** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:05 am

Never sh'agged a fattie

I did however have a night of terror with a Greek hunchback .

It was thirty odd years ago but the nightmare is still with me . I was making my way overland from India back to the UK and somehow ended up on a small island about a hour out of Athens where I met this couple ,an English fella and his Greek wife. She wasn't bad looking BUT did have an enormous hump and a walk that Quasimodo would have been proud of. One night I'm sitting in the taverna and in she shuffles minus her husband, turns out he's gone to Athens on business and won't be back till the next day. We had a meal and a few ouzos after which (being the gentleman I am) I offered to escort her home. We got to her door and she invites me in . Now just to be clear, sex with this Greek bellringer was the furthest thing from my mind, she was however a very intelligent woman and a great conversationalist so in I went and we spent the next couple of hours emptying a bottle of brandy whilst discussing life the universe and everything......... I'ts now 3am and I'm making ready to leave when she says "why don't you stay here tonight , you can sleep in one of the spare rooms ". Being well p'issed by now I was more than happy to stumble into one of the spare bedrooms and collapse onto a big brass bed, and thats when the terror began.

I'd only been on the bed for a couple of minutes when I heard the faint but distinct scrape scrape scrape as she dragged one foot behind the other slowly approaching my door. In true hammer house of horror style the door opened with a long drawn out creak that had my hair standing on end and into the room shuffled Quasimodo dressed in a long white nightgown and carrying a lit candle :wwww

.
Without a word she approached the bed , set down the candle , hitched up her nightgown and sat on my face ! Lads, I was blowing bubbles out of my f'ucking ears . I was torn between a feeling of compassion and the desire to throw up as this creature bore down on my face with increasing ferocity, but when she started to yodel I thought "fu'ck, at this rate she's was gonna break my teeth" . Summoning up what stamina I had left I forced her off my face and onto the floor where I proceeded to do the dirty deed. I was thinking to myself "let's get this over as quickly as possible" when I noticed that with her legs raised of the ground she was rocking backwards and forwards on her hump , requiring absolutely no effort from me . To my everlasting shame I have to admit I began to enjoy it .

I'll spare you the rest of the sordid details but suffice to say that when I passed her in the street the following day her gammy leg was dragging even further behind than usual and when I greeted her the gimp blanked me completely !!!

by **Kewell2Dominate** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:28 am

hell woof. LMFAO. These stories are amazing. I will post one in due time. In a rush. This post has the ingredients to be an all time classic

by **66-1112520797** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:54 am

woof woof ! wrote:Never sh'agged a fattie I did however have a night of terror with a Greek hunchback .

It was thirty odd years ago but the nightmare is still with me . I was making my way overland from India back to the UK and somehow ended up on a small island about a hour out of Athens where I met this couple ,an English fella and his Greek wife. She wasn't bad looking BUT did have an enormous hump and a walk that Quasimodo would have been proud of. One night I'm sitting in the taverna and in she shuffles minus her husband, turns out he's gone to Athens on business and won't be back till the next day. We had a meal and a few ouzos after which (being the gentleman I am) I offered to escort her home. We got to her door and she invites me in . Now just to be clear, sex with this Greek bellringer was the furthest thing from my mind, she was however a very intelligent woman and a great conversationalist so in I went and we spent the next couple of hours emptying a bottle of brandy whilst discussing life the universe and everything......... I'ts now 3am and I'm making ready to leave when she says "why don't you stay here tonight , you can sleep in one of the spare rooms ". Being well p'issed by now I was more than happy to stumble into one of the spare bedrooms and collapse onto a big brass bed, and thats when the terror began.

I'd only been on the bed for a couple of minutes when I heard the faint but distinct scrape scrape scrape as she dragged one foot behind the other slowly approaching my door. In true hammer house of horror style the door opened with a long drawn out creak that had my hair standing on end and into the room shuffled Quasimodo dressed in a long white nightgown and carrying a lit candle.
Without a word she approached the bed , set down the candle , hitched up her nightgown and sat on my face ! Lads, I was blowing bubbles out of my f'ucking ears . I was torn between a feeling of compassion and the desire to throw up as this creature bore down on my face with increasing ferocity, but when she started to yodel I thought "fu'ck, at this rate she's was gonna break my teeth" . Summoning up what stamina I had left I forced her off my face and onto the floor where I proceeded to do the dirty deed. I was thinking to myself "let's get this over as quickly as possible" when I noticed that with her legs raised of the ground she was rocking backwards and forwards on her hump , requiring absolutely no effort from me . To my everlasting shame I have to admit I began to enjoy it . I'll spare you the rest of the sordid details but suffice to say that when I passed her in the street the following day her gammy leg was dragging even further behind than usual and when I greeted her the gimp blanked me completely !!!

Me and the misses have both pisse.d ourselves laughing at that Woof, instant mental image as I read it.

Brilliant read.

by **66-1112520797** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:16 am

I've always compared meeting girls at nights with scoring goals. It's like a forward, if you're on streak then you can be succesful 3 weekends in a row, if you're on a drought, you're on a drought. It's also very frustrating the radar the girls seem to have when you have a couple, because somehow, when you're tied they approach more.

True that Sabre, women like what they cant have also.

by **woof woof !** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:21 am

Me and the misses have both pisse.d ourselves laughing at that Woof, instant mental image as I read it.

And it's all true. I later discovered that her afflication caused her to be quite predatory when it came to sex , she often did one nighters with passing travellers , sad but I suppose in a twisted way it helped build her self esteem.

by **jonnymac1979** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:31 am

I can think of at least four proper unattractive fatties who I've been with. Agreed, everyones done one, and those who haven't should do. Nothing to be ashamed about. They're usually not embarassed about their bodies to be honest. I've found they're better than skinny birds. Of course, all my mates think there's something wrong with me. But I think women shouldn't be ripped for looking like women.

I've also been with women who are absolute sticks with no meat on them at all. Give me a fatty over birds like that any day of the week.

Liverpool FC Forum

Your First Fattie - Pictures of fatties inside if in work...

Who is online