mine was when I was a young lad of around 17 years old.
I was out in Liverpool with 3 friends and we were in an absolute dive that used to go by the name of the fudge. i think it is still operational but it was a
dive. Anyways I was shaking my little tush on the dancefloor when we noticed two girls dancing next to us, trying to catch our eye. I'll admit they were no lookers, at least 20 stone each and at least 25 years of age. Being young and boozed up that didn't matter to me, once we started dancing I tried all the doddy moves and they worked a treat. I think anything would of worked on this pair. And I vividly remember dancing with this thing and her reaching round and grabbing my hands and placing them on the worst pair of boobs in the world. the lad opposite looked at me in absolute digust. His face still haunts me to this day.
As we left the club, these two "stunners", invited me and my mates who had been tapping hagrids ugly sister back to her house. We got on a bus to there estate ( i still cant remember where they lived either from the ale or the trauma of going through with it) but on the way the girl was telling me about her 2 kids and I thought then I should abort the mission, but I was too far into it.
When we got off the bus, it was like Iraq, most houses were boarded up and it was rough as
. It made the north end look like heaven. I thought
it, your getting your nuts. However when she opened her front door to let us all in, there was 4 lads sitting in her house.
it transpired they were sitting off in her house as she let them do it all the time. These lads did not take kindly to 2 little 17 year old birkenheaders coming into their abode and started to act like
. Words got exchanged and she booted them out, which I was glad of as I seriously thought me and my mate were in for a hiding. To pay her back, she asked me to go upstairs to see her house, after wandering into her room, she threw me onto the bed and proceeded to eat my face.
I wont go into the details but it was rancid.
I particularly remember the smell and waking my mate at 4.30am as I had secretly phoned a taxi to sneak out of her house.
She took my number so the next day I got a new sim. I vividly remember being genuinely worried that this sloth would ring us in 3 months telling me she was preggo.
Funny times though.
Come on, who else has done a fattie?
