Liverpool FC Forum

by **RichardLFC1** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:16 pm

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes

by **Sabre** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:21 pm

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

"You don't sweat a lot for a fat girl."

This one translated is a weapon of mass destruction, and I'll use it tomorrow. Thanks Lando. :laugh:

by **RichardLFC1** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:23 pm

Guy: Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

by **Leonmc0708** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:30 pm

Excuse me, would you help me a moment. Can you tell me, does this drink taste like Rohypnol ?

by **jkop** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 8:16 pm

Bloke...are you tired ?

Girl......why ?

Bloke....Because you've been running through my mind all night.

by **metalhead** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 9:01 pm

whats your number cucumber? :eyebrow

NEVER use that

by **Dundalk** » Sun Apr 22, 2007 9:02 pm

dawson99 wrote:was your father a thief? no seriously was he, he looks well dodgy, and you're fat, but i still would

by **daxy1** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:02 am

it's been a while but i'll try remember a few

hey love is that yer feet that smell...no well it must be yer minge! gets em every time

scuse me chicky do yer wanna go 50/50 ona b@stard

hey love do ya taste like yer mam?

hya sexy what yer doin tomorrow night oh not you yer fat cow i was talkin to yer mate!

i didnt want to buy yer a drink anyway oh and by the way that dress makes yer look fat!

by **Mikz** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:50 am

How do ya like yer eggs in the mornin, fertilised or unfertilised?

Is that a pair of space boxers youre wearing, cos yer :censored:

is out of this world

If im a pain in yer :censored:

we can just add more lube

Your eyes are like spanners - every time you look at me my nuts tighten.

by **Redman in wales** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:26 am

Kinda along the same lines:

male comebacks to female comebacks to male chat up lines

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slu.t

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees suck on my c0ck just yet.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done sh@gging you in the back of my car, I don't give a shi.t where you go.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: That explains the moustache then!

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your @ss

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is impossible to shake off once you've been sh@gged.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: Cool, as long as you are still a little warm when I shove it up your a.ss

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said your a.ss looks fat in that skirt. my fave

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: :censored:

off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty ugly, you fat bi.tch

by **Big Niall** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 11:33 am

Leonmc0708 wrote:Excuse me, but can you help me ? Does this handkerchief smell like chlorophorm to you ?

Cheers, burst out laughing in the office, now they all know I am not working.

by **EddieC** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:25 pm

Two that used to work for me:

Get a drink with ice in it, take out a cube & put it on the floor in front of the girl you wanna chat up. Crush it with your foot & say 'Now that I've broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?'

Or another one, only suitable if you're willing to risk losing 20 quid (you hardly ever will, but it happened to me once). Walk over to a girl and offer her a £20 note. When she asks what it's for, say 'Well it saves me buying you drinks all night just for you to blow me out'. Around 50% of the times I've tried it the answer's been 'I wouldn't blow you out' and hey presto! You're in!

by **66-1112520797** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:33 pm

EddieC wrote:Two that used to work for me:

Get a drink with ice in it, take out a cube & put it on the floor in front of the girl you wanna chat up. Crush it with your foot & say 'Now that I've broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?'

Or another one, only suitable if you're willing to risk losing 20 quid (you hardly ever will, but it happened to me once). Walk over to a girl and offer her a £20 note. When she asks what it's for, say 'Well it saves me buying you drinks all night just for you to blow me out'. Around 50% of the times I've tried it the answer's been 'I wouldn't blow you out' and hey presto! You're in!

You smooth operator you.

by **EddieC** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 12:42 pm

Bamaga man wrote:
EddieC wrote:Two that used to work for me:

Get a drink with ice in it, take out a cube & put it on the floor in front of the girl you wanna chat up. Crush it with your foot & say 'Now that I've broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?'

Or another one, only suitable if you're willing to risk losing 20 quid (you hardly ever will, but it happened to me once). Walk over to a girl and offer her a £20 note. When she asks what it's for, say 'Well it saves me buying you drinks all night just for you to blow me out'. Around 50% of the times I've tried it the answer's been 'I wouldn't blow you out' and hey presto! You're in!

You smooth operator you.

I failed to mention, that second one, I never used in my home town.

You know what the girls are like down here BM, near enough every one would've snatched the £20 out of my hand without even stopping to say thanks! If anyone's gonna use that second one, make sure you're in a classy gaff.

by **grayghost** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:29 pm

You dont need chat up lines when you dress as Batman and go too town the girls just flock to you i was mobed in the Crazy house by a load of sexy goth girls very nice

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