Sadly my friends, we have a bender in our midst. A putrid, lowly pile of sputum in the anal crevasse of life.
He began his worthless time on this planet as a puss-filled coldsore, but like the caterpillar - he evolved. Rather than go the way of the Butterfly, he went decidedly "Mothy", altering into the septic puddle of homosexual monkey-spunk you see today.
I have a heart-felt message from the gangrenous reptile, which, although covered in the remains of a cricket, is quite legible.
It reads:
"I, Whitebmw, do hereby decree that I am a raving woofter, with no more right to live on God's clean Earth than a diarrhetic Dungbeetle with a fetish for sweetcorn.
I do not require or want your pity - rather, insult me at every turn. Belittle me, question my parentage, and make jibes about the size of my wedding tackle.
I emplore you - treat me like the sleazy good-for-nothing VD scab that I am."
I think that we should do our best to make this punk feel welcome - how better than to do as the spinless fanny-dodger asks?
SO everyone - raise your mice:
"To c*ntyb*llock!".