by Ciggy » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:12 pm
Just when you thought they could'nt get any more bitter they pull out this little gem
Soft b@stard nearly killed himself talkin about us 
Meet The Fu.ck Ups
"You're so biased against Liverpool, I think there's something wrong with you", the wife said the other night when I went off on one again over the reds.*i*e. That was the best compliment she's given me for ages, by the way. She doesn't understand, bless. So I tried to explain to her why I just can't fu,cking abide those chirpy little rascals from the darkside. I didn't get very far cos the trauma and excitement brought on an asthma attack (for which I needed me BLUE inhaler), but when I'd stopped hyperventilating - by which time she couldn't be arsed talking to me - I pondered the issue between wheezes and here are some of the reasons why I believe Evertonians just can't stand the fu.ck-ups.Feel free to add your own...
* They wear red - although their very first strip was blue and white shirts - oh yes!....
* They accuse us of living in the past - and then can't wait to ram Shankley down your throat. The tw@t's been dead longer than Noah.....
* Using a great Beach Boys track for that fu.cking "We've won it 5 times"
...
* Denying one of our greatest sides to show what they could do in the European Cup after we won the league in 1985...
* Having "impartial" referees punch the air when Gerrard scores - remember Poll?......
* And Poll, cos he's a right twát and gives them any decision that's going...let's see what he gives them this weekend, shall we...
* And referees who can't bear to see a decision go against them - Poll again, Clive Thomas, and name any other 50 you can think of.....
* Having the local press fawn all over them...(notice how the Echo referred to the "Everton fan" who robbed Dudek's gear, but always refer to "Liverpool man Michael Shields".......
* The club "allowing" fans to collect at the ground for Michael Shields' fund - if a couple of the players put their spare change in instead then that would do the job, if they could be arsed
* And the council falling over themselves to make sure their new ground gets built........
* ..in one of the only parks left in the city....
* Having the Liver Bird as their badge - it's a fu.cking symbol of the CITY, and we we're here first....
* And having fans from everywhere except that city (what do Norwegians and people from Essex know about Liver Birds?).....
* And while I'm on that one, what kind of shi.thouse would rather support a team from hundreds of miles away rather than their home town team - that just about sums the b@stards up.....
* Dopey "celebrity"
fans who couldn't find their way to the ground in a taxi with sat nav.....
* Dopey "ordinary" fans who argue about how great the tw@ts are until you ask them "Go the game, do you?" and then they come out with "Er..no, well, can't get a ticket" - yeah. Feck off...
* Players who sign for them and tell everybody that it was aways the team they supported as a kid (rather than their home town club - see above under "sh.ithouse")...
* All those redsh.ite media knobs - can't non-redsh.ite players get on the radio and telly for fEck's sake?....
* Begging UEFA to let them into the Champions League when they didn't qualify even though they knew the rules from the off, the arrogant [email]b@stards....[/email]
* Forever scoring spawny goals just when they need them....(ha! where do I start with that one?)....
* Mark Lawrenson on the BBC for thinking he's Ken Dodd - except the diddymen that Lawrenson "performed" with weren't from no fu.cking jam butty mines - you know the stories too....
* Sky TV for putting every one of their games on......
* And our hero Andy Gray for shouting "get in you beauty" when Gerrard scored against Olympiakos...
* And ramming the b@stards down our throats at every opportunity......
* Istanbul - fu.ck me, when will it end?....
* The " greatest ever comeback" in a cup final -er, 3-3 wasn't it? Try the 1966 FA Cup Final for that one lads....
* Grobbelaar, cos he was a horrible bent
......
* ..with a manky name.....
* Telling us we've got no history - they weren't even invented til Shankley came, the
.....
* Consistently having the ugliest players in Christendom...
* Rafael Benitez, who, rumour in Spain has it, eats his own shi.te
I'm sure I could go on, but I can feel the asthma coming on again, so~:
* Last but not least - the complete arrogance and hypocrisy of the whole shower of b@stards who think that the world should bow down to them.
But we never will. And ever day when you wake up, thank God you're one of the chosen ones.
COME ON YOU BLUES!
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.
Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011
REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.