Liverpool FC Forum

Rafa-Dodd wrote:40,000 bitters meet at goodison for a "Blues are not stupid" convention. Moyesy says "We are here today to prove to the world that we are not stupid.Can i have a volunteer?" Andy Johnson works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.Moyesy asks him"What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 seconds AJ says "18."Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.Then 40,000 bitters start cheering "Give him another chance,give him another chance!"Moyesy says " well since we've gone to the trouble of getting you all here i think we can give him another chance" so he asks "What is 5 plus 5?"After 30 seconds AJ says"90." Moyesy is perplexed,looks down and lets out a dejected sigh.Andy Johnson  is crying and then the 40,000 blues start to yell"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE,GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!" Moyesy,unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good eventually says"ok,ok,one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" Andrew Johnson closes his eyes,and after a whole minute says"4." Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 40.000 blues jump to their feet,wave their arms,stomp their feet and scream in unison.......

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE,GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!!"

pmsl   

Rafa-Dodd wrote:1. Rafael Benitez does not sleep. He waits.
2. Rafael Benitez has counted to infinity. Twice.
3. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by Rafael Benitez, and those listed in
the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
4. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Rafael Benitez
allows to live.
5. Rafael Benitez is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of
tennis.
6. When Rafael Benitez sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes
only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Rafael Benitez has
not had to pay taxes ever.
8. Rafael Benitez originally appeared in the first ever football video game,
but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to score.
When asked bout this "glitch," Benitez replied, "That's no glitch."
9. Rafael Benitez once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
10. Rafael Benitez is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Rafael
Benitez
11. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Rafael Benitez.
12. When Rafael Benitez goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and
instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
13. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Rafael Benitez.
14.
15. When Rafael Benitez falls in water, Rafael Benitez doesn't get wet.
Water gets Rafael Benitez.
16. Rafael Benitez CAN believe it's not butter.
17. Rafael Benitez invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum
of visible light. Except pink. David Moyes invented pink.
18. Rafael Benitez has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983
World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free
Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game
UNO.
19. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the
year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rafael Benitez"
20. Rafael Benitez doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the
othe nine faint.
21. Rafael Benitez can slam a revolving door.
22. Rafael Benitez played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
23. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Rafael Benitez
pajamas.
24. When God said, "let there be light", Rafael Benitez said, "say
'please'."
25. Rafael Benitez uses a night light. Not because Rafael Benitez is afraid
of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Rafael Benitez.

You're a strange one, lad!     I liked the Poker face one, though!

Lando_Griffin wrote:The bitter b*stards focus on how much money Rafa has had to spend compared to Gollum, then say the ork is a better manager.

Rafa-Dodd wrote:1. Rafael Benitez does not sleep. He waits.
2. Rafael Benitez has counted to infinity. Twice.
3. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by Rafael Benitez, and those listed in
the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
4. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Rafael Benitez
allows to live.
5. Rafael Benitez is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of
tennis.
6. When Rafael Benitez sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes
only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Rafael Benitez has
not had to pay taxes ever.
8. Rafael Benitez originally appeared in the first ever football video game,
but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to score.
When asked bout this "glitch," Benitez replied, "That's no glitch."
9. Rafael Benitez once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
10. Rafael Benitez is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Rafael
Benitez
11. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Rafael Benitez.
12. When Rafael Benitez goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and
instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
13. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Rafael Benitez.
14.
15. When Rafael Benitez falls in water, Rafael Benitez doesn't get wet.
Water gets Rafael Benitez.
16. Rafael Benitez CAN believe it's not butter.
17. Rafael Benitez invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum
of visible light. Except pink. David Moyes invented pink.
18. Rafael Benitez has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983
World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free
Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game
UNO.
19. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the
year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rafael Benitez"
20. Rafael Benitez doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the
othe nine faint.
21. Rafael Benitez can slam a revolving door.
22. Rafael Benitez played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
23. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Rafael Benitez
pajamas.
24. When God said, "let there be light", Rafael Benitez said, "say
'please'."
25. Rafael Benitez uses a night light. Not because Rafael Benitez is afraid
of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Rafael Benitez.

Brilliant 

Rafa-Dodd wrote:1. Rafael Benitez does not sleep. He waits.
2. Rafael Benitez has counted to infinity. Twice.
3. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by Rafael Benitez, and those listed in
the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
4. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Rafael Benitez
allows to live.
5. Rafael Benitez is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of
tennis.
6. When Rafael Benitez sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes
only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Rafael Benitez has
not had to pay taxes ever.
8. Rafael Benitez originally appeared in the first ever football video game,
but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to score.
When asked bout this "glitch," Benitez replied, "That's no glitch."
9. Rafael Benitez once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
10. Rafael Benitez is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Rafael
Benitez
11. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Rafael Benitez.
12. When Rafael Benitez goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and
instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
13. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Rafael Benitez.
14.
15. When Rafael Benitez falls in water, Rafael Benitez doesn't get wet.
Water gets Rafael Benitez.
16. Rafael Benitez CAN believe it's not butter.
17. Rafael Benitez invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum
of visible light. Except pink. David Moyes invented pink.
18. Rafael Benitez has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983
World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free
Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game
UNO.
19. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the
year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rafael Benitez"
20. Rafael Benitez doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the
othe nine faint.
21. Rafael Benitez can slam a revolving door.
22. Rafael Benitez played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
23. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Rafael Benitez
pajamas.
24. When God said, "let there be light", Rafael Benitez said, "say
'please'."
25. Rafael Benitez uses a night light. Not because Rafael Benitez is afraid
of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Rafael Benitez.

Heard em before

Lando_Griffin wrote:CAn you believe I have been banned from BlueKipper?

I didn't say ANYTHING offensive.

Sad, insecure w*nkers.

I can't believe they would ban you and your silver tongue Lando

gary106 wrote:got my ticket. sittin in the park end with all the bitters, did it 2 seasons ago in the lower bullens

its an excperience lol

Mmm...personally...i wouldn't thank you for a ticket to sit amongst those bitter twisted [email]b@stards..would[/email] rather watch it with my own kind. 

gary106 wrote:got my ticket. sittin in the park end with all the bitters, did it 2 seasons ago in the lower bullens

its an excperience lol

Igor Zidane wrote:

Lando_Griffin wrote:CAn you believe I have been banned from BlueKipper?

I didn't say ANYTHING offensive.

Sad, insecure w*nkers.

I can't believe they would ban you and your silver tongue Lando

That's the thing, though - I didn't post ANYTHING even remotely offensive.

All I said was "It's stupid to compare OUR Moysey with Benitz as Benitez is by far the better manager". (I put "our moysey" to throw the feckers off the scent!!! )

Now is that offensive, or just stating the bleeding obvious?

If they can't handle such a glaring truth, they are very sad indeed.