Liverpool FC Forum

by **7_Kewell** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 5:44 pm

does my bum look big in this?

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sat Jul 22, 2006 3:54 am

"Yes, you festering polyp", Judge said, angrily.

Lando barfed up once again, having consumed regurgitated salmonella.
After creating a flow to rival that of Niagra, Lando looked at Judge with a glint in his eye. Ravenous from puking every last morsel out of his copious gut, he grabbed the cantankerous Lawman and sat him between two floury baps.
Just as the fatman was about to take the first greedy bite, Peewee realised the chubby Equaliser had been drugged by the devious Greedo.
"Lando!", he shouted. But it was too late. Judge had lost an arm.

"WHat?" LAndo responded, through his chewing.

BANG! Peewee tw*tted the corpulent cannibal over the head with a shovel, then administered an antidote up his rectum.

"Thegreedo must have doped the butt of his rifle with 'insane-o-gloop'!", Peewee thought to himself.

Peewee reflected on the following conundrum:

Lando had acted that way for one of the following reasons:

1. He had been drugged.

2. He WAS a cannibal.
Either way, Peewee had hit Lando very hard about the head.

Either way, Peewee had a problem.

A big fat one....

by **Judge** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 7:31 am

a gonad that is, peewee went to the doctors and asked for the pain to be felled, but asked if the swelling could be left

.........

by **Judge** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 7:58 am

lando entered..........

by **anti-hero** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 8:46 am

and then left.

Because nobody but Judge wanted to do the damn story anymore!

by **Judge** » Tue Aug 01, 2006 12:11 pm

anti-hero wrote:and then left.

Because nobody but Judge wanted to do the damn story anymore!

it was obvious that anti-hero had indeed run out of ideas, which was not surprising since he contributed nothing to the epic from the very start

greedo and lando on the other hand............

by **Lando_Griffin** » Wed Aug 02, 2006 2:57 am

Farted at exactly the same time, causing the temperal lobe of every native of Malaysia to expand by 14".

Overrun by swell-headed Malay's, Peewee decided to go to sleep up a tree, out of the nutting-zone.

Anit-hero and Judge...

by **anti-hero** » Wed Aug 02, 2006 7:05 am

Lando_Griffin wrote:Farted at exactly the same time, causing the temperal lobe of every native of Malaysia to expand by 14".

Overrun by swell-headed Malay's, Peewee decided to go to sleep up a tree, out of the nutting-zone.

Anit-hero and Judge...

were meanwhile at Downtown Newkit City, at the venue of the Bad Bob vs Billy fight, the pub known as "the Dog and the Gorilla".

-----

anti-hero "Yes Lando we are.. ringside here at the Dog and the Gorilla ready for the fight to begin. I am standing here with Judge, the referree for tonights bout. Judge, dont you think its funny that you're the ref, and your name is Judge?"

Judge "Uh.. .. Um.. Uh.."

anti-hero "Of course it is.."

Judge "Well.. if you say so.."

anti-hero "Ah yes. It also says here.. that you are related to the famous, Judge "I'll allow it!" Mills Lane of Celebrity Deathmatch fame!

Would you care to comment?"

Judge "Yes. He's my uncle."

anti-hero " Delightful. Now I understand, that you weren't the first choice to referree this fight."

Judge "That's right.."

anti-hero "But there are rumours flying around, because it was infact your uncle who was supposed to officiate this game. Some people seem to have this notion that his mysterious withdrawal from officiating this tie may have something to do with you."

Judge "I assure you its not."

anti-hero "Ok.. but isnt it the Boxing Federation's job to appoint who should referee a tie? And if I may add, I believe the NCBF already chose a back-up ref for tonight, shanks72, and yet, why are you officiating?"

Judge "AH.. She's pretty tied up right now.

"

anti-hero "I see. .. .. .. .. Are you Italian by the way?"

Judge "Nope."

anti-hero "Delightful. Have a nice time referreing the match."

Judge "Same to you."

anti-hero And there you have it folks. Back to you Lando, who's currently standing by with the Judges for tonights game.

.. .. Judge.. .. .. was that a bad pun or what??"

-----

:laugh:

by **Judge** » Wed Aug 02, 2006 8:02 am

as usual anti-hero spouted cack

, lando was weary though of being nutted by the malay encephalopoids (a new species of fart induced swollen headed humans)

...............but

by **thegreedo** » Wed Aug 02, 2006 10:48 pm

He suddenly felt a stirring in his loins, the little acorn was twitching, why? Lando was beginning to find the cranially over-endowed encephalopoids attractive, that's why!! Was no species or gender safe from the doughboy's unwanted sexual advances.

Lando approached one of the methane filled creatures, his best chat up line going round an round in his head. Just as he was about to deliver the killer vocal he was stunned to silence, shocked by the realisation that the object of his attempted advance was in fact a somewhat deformed Joko, the oriental gimp!!

Joko scowled at the approaching Lando, his gaze distracted appearing to look beyond the rotund figure of the sweating Mr Griffin, then, BLAMMM!!! Joko fell back, his huge head pierced by a round from a phased plasma rifle. Lando new this could mean only one thing, greedo was nearby! The walking gutbucket, knowing the accuracy of his nemesis' aim deduced greedo must have been outside the rifle's 40 watt range so there was still a slim chance of escape!

Lando spotted a small child on a scooter up ahead so he.........

by **Lando_Griffin** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 3:19 am

Patted the little mite on the head, offered his mother a sh*g, then made off on the scooter with his date riding side-saddle.

He returned to his Manor house in Oxfordshire, only to be greeted by a semi-naked and rather oiled Eva. She looked forlornly at her man and his sh*g-buddy, until Lando suggested a 3-some. Her eyes lit up, and they both ladies got a damn good servicing once Lando had seen enough girl-on-girl action.

Thegreedo was still hunting his foe, when he was hit by a severe case of piles, brought on by the cold seat of his Barbie bike, and the vibrations of Lando's lovemaking.

Aware of the threat posed by an anally graped greedo, Lando instructed Joko to lure his enemy to a Motel in Droitwich, where they made unholy love for 14 days, with only a badger and Canary for variety.

Judge...

by **Judge** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:24 am

doughboy , wtf

, and Droitwich

===============================================================

was also in the area. He'd just invented a 60 watt plasma rifle, which he intended to blast greedo with in some weird named canteen, in some far quadrant in the galaxy. But greedo was fast, as his ancestors were cave dwellers who liked to chase their food whilst naked (fucking perverts)

Nonetheless, Eva was in fact joko. lando was stunned to find eva was actually joko. Joko was many things, but he was landos lover, but that was not all, as greedo had had a dabble with eva in the recent past. He too was shocked, but not surprised to find he actually liked joko.

So lando, greedo, and joko had a threesome. Anti-hero was in the dark corner of the room pulling one off, as he was afraid of his emotions, whilst watching the threesome blub fest.

Judge left in disgust to find a real women........

by **anti-hero** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 8:17 am

and instead found himself at the same park George Micheal did a few days ago!

There he met this man:

And what was to follow was a story too sick to tell.

by **Judge** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 8:20 am

considering antihero was blind, and needed a cataract op, it was actually him who met the man above, who he found out to be his long lost uncle.

they both cried. boohoo hoo hoo hoo they both went.

suddenly judge popped up and said ''shut the fuck up you pair of wailing babies''

Anti-hero was not impressed and went off to bash his bishop AGAIN

lando meanwhile..................

by **thegreedo** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 10:06 pm

.... had just concluded a satisfying bout of necrophilia with Joko, he had worked up quite an appetite and decided he needed a kebab so he jumped on his scooter and headed for JBG's Kebab Emporium on the outskirts of Newkitsville.
Judge meanwhile fresh from chastising the troll-like anti-hero and his "loving" uncle had arrived home to find a letter on his mat.
Who could this be? I have no friends, thought the lawman. He checked the address again, there was no mistake it was indeed for him. The postmark said Droitwich. Judge was confused, (this was not a difficult thing to do, just asking Judge his name would usually suffice) he didn't know anybody from Droitwich. He could bare the suspense no longer and ripped open the letter, it had clearly been written in blood and read.......

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