Liverpool FC Forum

by **dawson99** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 12:55 pm

I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit wiser than when you last saw me!"

She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"

So I hung up.

by **Smeg** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:15 pm

dawson99 wrote:"Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"
.

Sounds good to me...

by **112-1077774096** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:38 pm

ooooooooo mate, i'm sure woolyback posted that a few weeks ago.

hang your head in shame dawsononion

by **dawson99** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:39 pm

lol..i think i might have posted it a year ago as well... memories going hehe

by **112-1077774096** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 1:45 pm

silly old s0d

by **anfieldadorer** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 2:07 pm

, i looked over and over again the posting date to make sure, i was very sure it's been posted a while ago

by **lawrenson_sarah** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 2:23 pm

by **dawson99** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 2:24 pm

sarah, i didnt mean to hang up

by **lawrenson_sarah** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 2:28 pm

by **Lando_Griffin** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:21 am

Definately the third time this has been posted, mate.

Get off the crack, Dawson. It's affecting your brain!!!

by **account deleted by request** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 3:38 am

One day a guy dies and winds up in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…

Satan: Why so glum?

Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell!

Satan: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Satan: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, beer, soft drinks, you name it! We drink till we throw up, and then we drink some more. And you don’t have to worry about hangovers because you’re dead anyway. Guy: Gee, that sounds great!

Satan: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it!

Satan: All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer—no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?

Guy: Wow… that’s awesome!

Satan: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I do.

Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, and Kino. If you go bankrupt, you’re dead anyway. What about drugs?

Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…

Satan: That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack…or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you’re dead, who cares?!?!?!

Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!

Satan: You gay?

Guy: No…

Satan: Ooooh…You’re gonna HATE Fridays.

by **account deleted by request** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:07 am

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times...When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed,you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, why don't you fck off?"

by **account deleted by request** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:39 pm

Lando_Griffin wrote:Definately the third time this has been posted, mate.

Get off the crack, Dawson. It's affecting your brain!!!

Dawsons got a brain?

by **dawson99** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:42 pm

i try and bring some christmas cheer
but u all moan, so you're all queer
i think its fun, u think its farce,
so stick this thread right up your ar$e

merry christmas from...

by **Kash_Mountain** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:48 pm

dawson99 wrote:I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit wiser than when you last saw me!"

She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"

So I hung up.

Dawson, sometimes the plumpy ones are good. You know something to hold onto........

Liverpool FC Forum

When i rang my ex... - Any other embarressing phone calls?

Who is online