Liverpool FC Forum

by **Lando_Griffin** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:26 am

Greedo, coming to his senses. WHile recieving a rectal hammering from Bert, he had inadvertently drifted into his own subconscious - his feeble mind unable to cope with his new status as "goat's gimp".

The meandering dullard prayed he would find the dark recesses of his mind once more, but Bert had upped the ante and Greedo felt his rectal rim tearing like tissuepaper.

14 stitches and several goat-blows later, Greedo hobbled towards his bed, knowing that the lie-down he craved would result in another round of "Bender Bert's Bitch-boy banging." Knowing that his throbbing, bleeding bottom could take no more, Greedo decided to pucker-up and nosh Bert until he was satisfied.

17 1/2 hours later, Peewee...

by **thegreedo** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 6:57 am

...called Judge's mobile only to find the lawman whining about again having to wake up the dribbling mass that was Lando, again he had been dreaming wildly. His subconscious mind desperately trying to besmirch the character of the mighty greedo in order to allow him to rid himself of the constant feeling of inferiority towards his arch rival.

"What are you going on about?!!" Snarled Peewee.
"Well he simply has to stop eating cheese late at night, It makes him have the most delusional dreams" Judge explained.
"Stop that fat b@st@rd eating! Have fun, rather you than me! Anyway, forget that useless lump, we've got to meet. Sort out some sort of plan of action. Meet me outside JBG's kebab emporium on the industrial estate in 10 minutes!"

Peewee jumped in his car and sped off. He stopped at a set of lights and looked to his right to see an Escalade with tinted windows pull up along side. There was a whirring sound, the side window of the Escalade opened to reveal the barrel of a 12 gage pump-action shotgun held by.......

by **Lando_Griffin** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:00 am

Thegreedo, the double-crossing waste of human excrement.

Just as the backstabber was about to pull the trigger, Lando belly-bopped the Escalade (you Yank!

) into next-week, destroying the bloody 4x4 and it's greedy contents.

Lando was victorious, and set about impregnating thegreedo's willing girlfriend, Tori Amos.
Peewee thanked Lando via email, and set off in persuit of Hustler, who'd not featured in the Newkit story for an unnerving length of time.

He...

by **Judge** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:28 am

Lando_Griffin wrote:Thegreedo, the double-crossing waste of human excrement.

Just as the backstabber was about to pull the trigger, Lando belly-bopped the Escalade (you Yank! ) into next-week, destroying the bloody 4x4 and it's greedy contents.

Lando was victorious, and set about impregnating thegreedo's willing girlfriend, Tori Amos.
Peewee thanked Lando via email, and set off in persuit of Hustler, who'd not featured in the Newkit story for an unnerving length of time.

He...

was obviously a poo-bandit who new no mercy. Hustler was in fact in love with Greedo, which wasnt surprising as Anti hero had put an AD in the local rag, displaying hustlers love for greedo.

Greedo ran away in shame, as everyone new that huslter was indeed the guy who was the first human carrier of HIV (which he caught from a monkey whilst in africa).

Meanwhile, lando was up for something, as he was slavvering from his immense chops.....................

by **Lando_Griffin** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 5:12 am

Judge wrote:
Lando_Griffin wrote:Thegreedo, the double-crossing waste of human excrement.

Just as the backstabber was about to pull the trigger, Lando belly-bopped the Escalade (you Yank! ) into next-week, destroying the bloody 4x4 and it's greedy contents.

Lando was victorious, and set about impregnating thegreedo's willing girlfriend, Tori Amos.
Peewee thanked Lando via email, and set off in persuit of Hustler, who'd not featured in the Newkit story for an unnerving length of time.

He...

was obviously a poo-bandit who new no mercy. Hustler was in fact in love with Greedo, which wasnt surprising as Anti hero had put an AD in the local rag, displaying hustlers love for greedo.

Greedo ran away in shame, as everyone new that huslter was indeed the guy who was the first human carrier of HIV (which he caught from a monkey whilst in africa).

Meanwhile, lando was up for something, as he was slavvering from his immense chops.....................

Playboy were having their annual wet T-shirt competition in his front room!!!

Apparantly, peewee was so grateful that the fatman had saved his life, he'd arranged the show by way of gratitude, and asked for payment to be in kind.

Well - what man could say no?

Lando nobbed them all, including the fit makeup artiste called Louise, and then slept like a baby for 16 hours.

Louise made him breakfast, and instigated another day of sex.

Not bad for a fatty.

Peewee...

by **anti-hero** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 6:49 am

Lando_Griffin wrote:
Judge wrote:
Lando_Griffin wrote:Thegreedo, the double-crossing waste of human excrement.

Just as the backstabber was about to pull the trigger, Lando belly-bopped the Escalade (you Yank! ) into next-week, destroying the bloody 4x4 and it's greedy contents.

Lando was victorious, and set about impregnating thegreedo's willing girlfriend, Tori Amos.
Peewee thanked Lando via email, and set off in persuit of Hustler, who'd not featured in the Newkit story for an unnerving length of time.

He...

was obviously a poo-bandit who new no mercy. Hustler was in fact in love with Greedo, which wasnt surprising as Anti hero had put an AD in the local rag, displaying hustlers love for greedo.

Greedo ran away in shame, as everyone new that huslter was indeed the guy who was the first human carrier of HIV (which he caught from a monkey whilst in africa).

Meanwhile, lando was up for something, as he was slavvering from his immense chops.....................

Playboy were having their annual wet T-shirt competition in his front room!!!

Apparantly, peewee was so grateful that the fatman had saved his life, he'd arranged the show by way of gratitude, and asked for payment to be in kind.

Well - what man could say no?

Lando nobbed them all, including the fit makeup artiste called Louise, and then slept like a baby for 16 hours.

Louise made him breakfast, and instigated another day of sex.

Not bad for a fatty.

Peewee...

Then slapped Lando and said,

"Oi! Stop calling me Louise!" :wwww

by **Judge** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 7:18 am

retorted anti-hero, with another pointless reply

just then anti-hero was caught browsing this thread and was trying to come up with a good reply......

by **Judge** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:34 am

but there was no one around..........

by **anti-hero** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:38 am

so Judge decided to finger himself and dream of another one of his homoerotic episodes with thegreedo.

by **Judge** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 7:41 am

anti-hero wrote:so Judge decided to finger himself and dream of another one of his homoerotic episodes with thegreedo.

after anti hero has just dreamed up what he just wrote, we got on with the story. Anti hero liked to dream of that kind of stuff, as he probably spent most of his time fingering bessie, his 10 year old spaniel

:laugh:

by **thegreedo** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:17 am

Judge wrote:
anti-hero wrote:so Judge decided to finger himself and dream of another one of his homoerotic episodes with thegreedo.

after anti hero has just dreamed up what he just wrote, we got on with the story. Anti hero liked to dream of that kind of stuff, as he probably spent most of his time fingering bessie, his 10 year old spaniel

Dear oh dear, Lando and I have a weekend off and look what happens to this thread!! :no

(oh and before you start, don't even think about suggesting we were off together!!)

by **Judge** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:31 am

thegreedo wrote:
Judge wrote:
anti-hero wrote:so Judge decided to finger himself and dream of another one of his homoerotic episodes with thegreedo.

after anti hero has just dreamed up what he just wrote, we got on with the story. Anti hero liked to dream of that kind of stuff, as he probably spent most of his time fingering bessie, his 10 year old spaniel

Dear oh dear, Lando and I have a weekend off and look what happens to this thread!!

(oh and before you start, don't even think about suggesting we were off together!!)

The Miserable greedo, who'd been on a gay holiday with lando, just returned from his vaseline enthralled fortnight to find that the story had been brought down by Anti hero.

''shame on you'' retorted gay greedo.

Anti her responded by slapping greedo on the chin (mind you there were several chins to hit as greedo weighed in at 73 stones)

......................................then...

by **thegreedo** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:58 am

....greedo took off his heavyweight latex Lando suit and used his muscular manicured hand to lift the gnarled gnome-like figure of Anti-hero off the step ladder he had used to reach him. The contorted face of the dwarf snarling as greedo placed him back down on the floor he said, "Judge told me to do it, he was insanely jealous, he'd heard that Lando had stalked you all weekend under the delusional fantasy that you wouldn't spurn his homosexual advances and he just couldn't take it (unless Lando was giving it!). So he told me if I didn't take some form of revenge, as he was too scared to do it himself, he would kill me! Please don't hurt me!!"

Greedo took pity on the vertically challenged Troll and let him go without punishment, he had bigger fish to fry! He resumed his journey to find the Oracle Zarababe, he simply had to find the lowlife nancy boys who tried to take his life and time was against him.

Meanwhile the much maligned character, often neglected by this thread, Hustler, was.......

by **Judge** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:06 am

thegreedo wrote:....greedo took off his heavyweight latex Lando suit and used his muscular manicured hand to lift the gnarled gnome-like figure of Anti-hero off the step ladder he had used to reach him. The contorted face of the dwarf snarling as greedo placed him back down on the floor he said, "Judge told me to do it, he was insanely jealous, he'd heard that Lando had stalked you all weekend under the delusional fantasy that you wouldn't spurn his homosexual advances and he just couldn't take it (unless Lando was giving it!). So he told me if I didn't take some form of revenge, as he was too scared to do it himself, he would kill me! Please don't hurt me!!"

Greedo took pity on the vertically challenged Troll and let him go without punishment, he had bigger fish to fry! He resumed his journey to find the Oracle Zarababe, he simply had to find the lowlife nancy boys who tried to take his life and time was against him.

Meanwhile the much maligned character, often neglected by this thread, Hustler, was.......

laughing at greedo in the distance. Hustler shouted ''you nonce, why didnt you slot anti hero you poof''

greedo was infuriated, and took out his plasma rifle (40 watt range), and blasted it towards hustler......

by **thegreedo** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:32 pm

...splattering his brains all over the passing Bessie, Anti-Hero's spaniel. She had fled from Anti-Hero's bedsit to rid herself from the years of molestation at the hands of the impish deviant and was just unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Greedo looped the carrying strap of his plasma rifle over his shoulder and ran the last few streets to the site of Zarababe's apartment. He buzzed the intercom and a quiet feminine voice said "Yes?". Greedo tried to answer but was unable to speak as he was breathing out of his ar$e, desperately trying to catch his breath after foolishly kidding himself he was fit enough to run the hundred yards to Zarababe's apartment. Five minutes later after he had composed himself greedo pressed the buzzer once more, the same reply was forthcoming, this time though with a tinge of annoyance in the voice. Greedo announced himself and was surprised to hear he had been expected, the door buzzed and he entered.

The Oracle's apartment was both vast and lavish, the kind of place Lando would choose to squat in. Zara emerged with an apparent orange glow surrounding her, amazed , greedo enquired if it was some kind of aura. Zara laughed hysterically and said "Ya daft blert, don't be so soft I've just got off me sunny! Anyway what can I do for ya lad?".
"I was told you could help me find the whereabouts of the homo's who tried to kill me."
"I take it you mean Lando, Lundo, Peewee, Rafa-Dodd and Anti-Hero?"
"Well, not so much Anti-Hero, I've already decided he's punished enough every time he looks in the mirror but I would like to know where the others are."
"Hold on, this won't take long." said Zara before beginning to tweak her nipples as if tuning in a radio. Then in a voice that could best be described as a combination of Barry White and Rusty Lee, she said "Lundo is no longer with us, he died in a freak pet shopping accident, Peewee met a she-male and has flown back to Thailand to marry him/her, and Lando and Rafa Dodd have gone too see Hey Dolly at the newkitsville palace theatre. I hope this will help you on your quest.". Before the mahogany tinted Oracle could finish her sentence greedo had gone, the thirst for revenge heightened by his newly acquired knowledge.

Meanwhile back at Dawson's strip club..........

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