Liverpool FC Forum

by **thegreedo** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:07 pm

was amazed at how sicofantic Lando was being towards peewee. What next, was Lando going to cleanse peewee's chocolate starfish using only his tongue!! Disgustsed by the laughable characters subservient behaviour, the Judge decided he was going to finish him off once and for all.

Judge arrived at the site of Lando's latest squat, it has to be said "ol' blubba boy" cirtainly picked the right sites for his unlawful tennancy's, the house was beutiful. Judge headed straight for the kitchen (well, it doesn't take Poirot to work out that's where he would be!), he crashed through the door to find Lando's ample buttock pertruding from the door of a huge American-style larder fridge. Plastered all around the surrounding walls were photo's of peewee, quite clearly taken without his knowledge. The site of this level of gay admiration angered Judge even more as he grabbed Lando, took him out the house before binding and gagging him and squeezing him into the boot of his 4x4.

Judge drove to a small industrial estate on the outskirts of town and pulled up outside JBG's donner emporium. Judge was clearly a strong man as he managed to drag Lando up the stairs into the kebab factory and to the neck of a huge industrial mincer.

Without even allowing him any last words Judge heaved Lando's trembling carcass into the meat grinder.
The muffled screams could be heard all around the deserted factory, as the Judge ficked on the power switch the screams peaked before falling silent. Lando's final destination was to be sandwiched between pitta and chilli sauce. Some would say it was a fitting resting place.

Judge, feeling pleased at a job well done climbed back into his 4x4 and sped off towards..........

by **Lando_Griffin** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 3:31 am

Thegreedo's wake, where he nobbed the late git's (

) boyfriend, and mourned the loss of a fellow homosexual.

After their distasteful trist, they went back to the abode Julian had once shared with thegreedo, closed the lid, and made love for hours on the teabag they had called a bed.

A fitting memory for a man with more spunk up his ar*e than in his love-sacks.

Peewee - devastated at the loss of his BROTHER Lando, (

), sought solice at a brothel run by Madame Ciggy. He boned Lawrenson_Sarah to ease the pain, and also to lighten his load for the arduous journey ahead;

A journey to the centre of the...

by **Judge** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:27 am

debauchery and adulterous behaviour, which was common in these stories.....just then............

by **Lando_Griffin** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:47 am

Judge came in with a pointless reply, and...

by **Judge** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:23 am

Lando_Griffin wrote:Judge came in with an excellent reply, and...

(

@ lando)

recruited lando for a mission to kill anti-hero, rafa dodd and greedo.

It was known that those three had survived a previous attack, just like jack bauer had in 24, but judge and lando decided to combine forces and employ 10 elite soldiers who would be willing to use torture before eventually dismemebering them........................

by **thegreedo** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 5:00 pm

but the joining of forces and elite troops yarn was all part of an elaborate deception by the Judge in order to get Lando alone, slip him some rohypnol and have his wicked way. Little did the Judge know his military style plan was really totally needless as all he would have had to do was ask Lando for some @rse action and he would have been only too happy to oblige. Lando had been carrying a torch for the Judge for some years without ever managing to pluck up the courage to tell him.

Despite his already low and rapidly diminishing IQ Lando was beginning to question the integrity of the Judge's suggested alliance and was beginning to feel that a night of LLUUUUURRRRVVVV may have been his true motivation. Acting intuitively not being one of Lando's strong points he amazed even himself by having the werewithal to book a table for two, himself and Judge, at his favourite romantic bistro, Chez Given. This could finally be his chance to seduce the man he had loved from afar for so long. Lando's adrenaline was pumping all around his body, which was no mean feat being his body was roughly the size of wales. He could bare the excitement no longer, soon...very soon, he would be in the arms of his man!!

Meanwhile, over in the roughest, root'inest, toot'inest part of town there was a fearsome triumvirate gathering. In a dark corner of a high rollers gambling den sat Rafa Dodd, Anti-hero and the Greedo, having got wind of the Judge's fake plot they were planning a terrible revenge on the effeminate duo.

Suddenly a huge shadowy figure loomed over the three plotters, "count me in!!" it said.
The figure then leaned in, closer to the light. As his face became illuminated his identity was clear for all to see, it was........

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:35 am

Lando himself, come to exact revenge against his would-be assassins! (The unsavoury, slightly retarded Greedo had infact tailed the wrong sibling, and walked unwittingly into a meticulously-planned ambush.)

Thegreedo - dimmer than a 4-Watt lightbulb - had carelessly followed Lando's homosexual twin brother, Lundo. (To the untrained eye, they were indistinguishable. However - put them in a gay bar, and you'd soon tell them apart. While Lundo would be swooning with the men, Lando would be scrambling toward the exit, hands over bum and crotch, with a bottle of beer firmly wedged in his mouth for extra protection.)
Thegreedo began shaking with terror as Lando nodded towards ANti-Hero and Rafa Dodd and they joined him by the door.
"Please don't kill me! It's because you wouldn't love me!" Thegreedo begged.

"Edith, Edith, Edith." Lando said reluctantly, whilst shaking his head.

"You shouldn't have crossed me, you maggot." He continued.

"I'm sorry! I became infatuated with you. I thought, 'If I can't have you - no-one can!'"

"You pathetic weasel. You must see that I HAVE to kill you now? You MUST die for what you've done." Lando said, coldly.

"Please- let me be your bitch instead" Thegreedo offered, thoughtfully.

"Kill the filthy c*nt." Lando ordered.

Anti-Hero and Rafa Dodd both drew their pistols and fired their clips into thegreedo's lifeless body.

He was dead.

A stone.

Lando walked out.

...

by **account deleted by request** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:50 am

I am deeply shocked and offended by this thread which is a piece of unadulterated filth

its a fkn good read though, and I cant wait for the next chapter. Iv been pmsl

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:00 am

s@int wrote:I am deeply shocked and offended by this thread which is a piece of unadulterated filth

its a fkn good read though, and I cant wait for the next chapter. Iv been pmsl

...S@int said as he peered through the small window to the room of carnage.

"How odd" Rafa Dodd said to Anti-Hero as they walked out.

A thought occured, which didn't happen often.

"He saw us whack thegreedo - he could talk", Anti-hero suggested to his partner in termination.

"Shall we whack him too, then?" Rafa Dodd asked, as they both turned to persue the mystery man. (Who we all know was S@int, but they're in a story, remember!?!

)

They began the chase, as S@int jumped down off the bins and headed towards the relative saftey of Newkitville, with just an inkless fountain pen and a teddy bear called Boris for protection.

He...

by **anti-hero** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 9:31 am

turned a corner.

Ran down a street.

Past an alley.

Jumped over a garbage bin.

Up a fence and stumbled into the garage of a warehouse overlooking "Newkit-ville's" :laugh:

harbor.

Panting.. He said, "I think I've lost them Boris."

-----

"No you havent."

Saint turns around to find two impeccably and tastfully dressed hitmen in jet black Armani suits.

One's slightly tanned with blonde hair and of a muscular build. Peewee.

The other had messy jet-black hair with sharp, porcelain features. anti-hero.

"You've seen something that you shouldnt have seen today, Mr. Saint. That is very unfortunate don't you think?" said Peewee.

"See? Um.. Seen what?"

"You make me laugh sir. This makes it even more harder to do." adds anti-hero.

"Please.. no.."

"You've left us with no choice." says Peewee with an evil grin. "We'll have to whack you."

A clicking sound was heard as anti-hero cocked his Heckler and Koch USP. His preferred method of dispatchment.

"Please... Please.. NO..."

anti-hero fixes his silencer on.

"You ready Peewee?"

"Sure."

-----

And in a flash, Peewee was on Saint.

"What the fuck are you doing?!?"

"You told me to whack him!"

"Not like that you poof! Get off him! And put that shameful thing back in its pants!"

"Ok.. Ok.. Hold on.."

Saint moans.

"Oh my .. ! Get the FUCK OFF HIM NOW!"

"Oh alright.. Gosh! You never let me have any fun."

anti-hero gives Peewee an incredulous look.

-----

BANG!

"Well, that's it then.." said Peewee. "I never even got to say my "any last wishes before you die?" one liner."

"Havent you done enough?"

"Oh shut up. What are we going to do with the body?"

"Well, the ocean's in front of you now, innit?"

"Right."

"But could you at least wipe your fucking hands first, will you? Its bad enough that you had to.. do what you did. And I dont want to touch anything sticky."

"Yeah Yeah. Stop your whining."

"And put your fucking pants back on!"

-----

10 minutes later, a 1964 plateless black mustang leaves the warehouse.

"A job well done mate."

"And you."

"Where next?"

"I think Lando owes us some money."

"Pay-day."

"Yesss..."

"Ka-ching!"

-----

by **stoney** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 7:04 pm

Then 'Landos bum chum' came and said, ''wheres Lando? I havent finished sucking his.........

by **82-1074641017** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:25 am

Then a bomb hit the island and everyone who posted in this thread died a slow and painful death :devil:

by **thegreedo** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 9:12 am

....MEANWHILE, back at the high rollers gambling den, the sound of the gunfire had cleared the room.
Everyone had made for the doors in anticipation of the arrival of 5'O, including the cowardly, murderous would-be assassins.

As the smoke cleared a small figure could be seen standing over the body of greedo, it was the Archangel Kazza 1. She looked down upon the fallen hero, extended her wings and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before saying simply "It is not your time great warrior, you heavenly harem is not yet complete, we are still waiting for Pamela Anderson and Jenna Jameson". With that the angel Kazza gently ran her hand down over greedo's face and in a flash was gone.

Greedo screamed in pain, as if a million volts of lifeforce had jolted through his body. He had been pulled away from the white light that had beckoned him. He sat up, spat out the six bullets that had entered his body through his BACK but were now nestling in his mouth and said "Roberts! Keep your spam-laden :censored:

out of this thread!!". He then dusted himself off and set out to seek vengeance on his clearly homosexual murderers.

Lando, Lundo, Peewee, Anti-Hero and Rafa dodd were by this time back at the Blue Oyster in the centre of newkit'sville, Lando and Lundo were out back partaking in a heavy session of incestuous homosexual sex while Peewee, Anti and Rafa sniffed poppers and watched Leona Mac, the drag act, at the bar.
Just then Dawson walked in with Lawrenson Sarah, she was a real fag-hag and would drag Dawson in the Oyster to meet her friends at every possible opportunity. She bounded over excitedly and planted a big kiss on Peewee's face before looking down at the repulsive golum-like figure of anti-hero and saying.....

by **Lando_Griffin** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:25 am

"DO you know where Lando is? I want to have passionate sex with him."

"Yes", said Anti-hero. "He's out back planning the latest in a series of daring escapes from his arch-rival, Thegreedo.
He knows that the only way that perverted hen-f*cker would stay out of the way is if he believed him to be sh*gging his own twin brother."

"Nice", said Sarah. "Why doesn't Lando kill greedo? It's obvious he's much stronger mentally and physically. It'd be a piece of cake!" Sarah queried.

"You tell me!" Anti-hero responded, before he resumed his toe-nail chewing.

Sarah found the ever-prepared Lando, and they had safe-sex many times.

Thegreedo was so consumed with jealousy, he exacted revenge on an innocent goat that had been grazing in a nearby field.
9 months later, thegreedo gave birth to "Billy", married Bert (The Goat), and lived happily ever after, bitching and gimping for his beloved quadruped.

Lando, having nailed virtually every single sexually attractive female in Newkitville, decided to seek pastures new, taking Eva, Kelly, Ciggy and a selection of nameless beauties with him to the Island he had discovered (and named) in the South Pacific; "Landoria".

A life of luxury and sexual perfection ensued, while thegreedo recieved thrice-daily booster-shots up his bottom from Bert and his brother, Geoffrey.

S@int, so far undetected by his pursuers, despite what other Neandethals say, met Judge in a Pinewood Superstore. They quickly ...

by **thegreedo** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:29 pm

...shook Lando and pulled him free from Lundo's rectal crevice. He had been dreaming wildly during his post coital sleep and almost had himself convinced by some of the outlandish fantasies. Reality hit home when he looked up and saw The Judge and S@int peering down at him.
"What are you two doing here, where's Eva??"
"Yeah right!" said Judge, "Eva's just where she's always been, in your dreams Hurley!"

Lando tried to get up but found he had become bonded to the floor by encrusted ejaculate, Judge and s@int grabbed an arm apiece and heaved the human weeble to his feet. Lando went on to explain to the fugitive duo that he himself was on the run but he was blissfully unaware that it was not the police tailing him for the murder of greedo but greedo himself seeking to wreak revenge on his wobbling nemesis. The three then fled the scene leaving the now sphincter-less Lundo in their wake.

Greedo meanwhile was desperately trying to pick up the trail of his would be assassins but the velvet curtain was well and truly closed, the local homosexual community was on lock-down and no leads were forthcoming for the luckless vigilante.

Greedo had one last chance, he could visit the Oracle of Newkit'sville, a woman known only by the alias, zarababe. She lived across town, greedo had to get there fast surely she could give him a lead on their whereabouts.

Back at the strip club Dawson and Lawrenson sarah were laying low when in bundled the most comical trio since the marx brothers. Led by Judge the three stooges marched towards dawson, Lando XXX(L) Griffin bringing up the rear as usual.
"What are we gonna do Daws?" said Judge "5-0 will be crawling all over this town anytime now!!"
Dawson looked surprisingly calm "I've been listening to the police frequency on my radio out back, there's been no mention of any shooting. I think we're in the clear."

Suddenly there was a terrifying scream from out back Dawson ran to see what it was.
"Its ok guys it's only Sarah" The dancer had stepped out back to make some tea when sh was suddenly confronted by a naked perving Lando.
"I know Sarah's a worldly woman but no female should have to witness a sight like that. She could be scarred for life. Sympathised the judge, "post traumatic stress can be the end of some people".

There was another piercing scream. This time it wasn't sarah, she had gone to the toilet to vomit, it was.....

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