by Red Red Tom » Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:09 pm
I wrote this article as a joke last summer, and it got a good reception. With April Fools tommorow, I thought I'd update it a bit and post it on here for you to print out and stick in your shop window/office wall/anywhere else you feel like tommorow morning. See if anybody actually believes it is genuine, somehow I doubt it; but its still a good laugh...
Chelsea make a bid for the European Cup.
Chelsea have today launched a £60 million pound bid for the European Cup, which arrived at Anfield at the end of last season. The Chelsea manager, Jose Mourinho has long been a keen admirer of the trophy, affectionately nick-named big-ears by the fans, and has made no secret of his desire to bring the classy cup to Stamford Bridge. “It would be an instant hit with the fans.” Mourinho said. Unfortunetly for the London club Liverpool recently tied the European Cup down at Anfield for the foreseeable future, in a sensational move, making their swoop after the trophy had agreed personal terms with AC Milan regarding a move to the San Siro.
At present Barca remain hot favorites to sign big ears’s younger brother – having already convinced the trophy that Chelsea would not be the right move this year. Seeing all avenues are closed to the new trophy however, Mourinho has decided to re-open the saga surrounding Liverpool’s prize asset.
Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard today said that he believed the European Cup would be happier at Stamford Bridge. “We came close to signing Big Ears on two occasions in the last two years. This season, it looked like we had dropped out of the running earlier than in previous years.” Lampard claimed. “Steven Gerrard tells me that Big Ears is happy at Anfield, but we are confident that we can offer enough money to change that.”
Big Ears spent a brief and unhappy loan spell at Old Trafford six years ago, but left saying that he felt “alone and bored” when inside the Man Utd trophy room. “I am happy to be home, and I do not intend to leave Liverpool for another club.” Stated the giant trophy. When told of Mourinho’s advances for him, he simply said “I would not go to London, if you look at my career you can see I have never considered London, the European Cup belongs in Liverpool, and not at Chelsea.” Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez says he will not sell his centerpiece trophy, and is confident that Big Ears will remain at Anfield. “He is enjoying it here, and Chelsea must understand that money will not buy this cup – Big Ears is going to stay here. I want to build a trophy cabinet around him.” Stated Liverpool’s Spanish Supremo.
Chelsea recently completed the 210 million pound transfer of the Premiership title from Arsenal, with Arsene Wenger conceding “we fought hard, but in the end we just couldn’t compete financially with Chelsea.” It would appear however, that not even Roman Ambramovich has enough money to ensure the capture of the European Cup, and sources inside Anfield have said they would not sell at any price anyway.