Liverpool FC Forum

by **dawson99** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:39 pm

my fave bit is in the dead parrot sketch, but at the beginning...just creases me up

can i help you madam?
did u just call me madam?
oh im sorry sir, i have a cold!

by **dawson99** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:42 pm

Hospital Administrator: And what are you doing this morning?
Obstetrician: It's a birth.
Hospital Administrator: Ah. And what sort of thing is that?
Dr. Spenser: Well, that's where we take a new baby out of a lady's tummy.
Hospital Administrator: Wonderful what we can do nowdays.

by **dawson99** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 2:44 pm

and my personal ever fave:

Man: Look, this isn't an argument.
Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is.
Man: No it isn't, it's just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't.
Man: It is.
Mr. Vibrating: It is not.
Man: Look, you contradicted me.
Mr. Vibrating: I did not.
Man: Oh you did.
Mr. Vibrating: No, no, no.
Man: You did just then.
Mr. Vibrating: Nonsense.
Man: Oh, this is futile.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't.
Man: I came here for a good argument.
Mr. Vibrating: No, you didn't. No, you came here for an argument.
Man: An argument isn't just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: It can be.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't.
Man: Yes it is. It's not just contradiction.
Mr. Vibrating: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
Man: But that's not just saying, "No it isn't."
Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is.
Man: No it isn't. An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
Mr. Vibrating: No it isn't.
Man: Yes it is.
Mr. Vibrating: Not at all.
Man: Now look...
Mr. Vibrating: [bell rings] Good morning.
Man: What?
Mr. Vibrating: That's it. Good morning.
Man: It was just getting interesting.
Mr. Vibrating: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
Man: That was never five minutes.

by **woof woof !** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:43 pm

Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say
that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a
kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)
(The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain (Palin) enters, flanked by
two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles (Jones) has goggles pushed over his
forehead. Cardinal Fang (Gilliam) is just Cardinal Fang)

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is
suprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two
weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our
*three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an
almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no...
*Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as
fear, surprise.... I'll come in again. (Exit and exeunt)

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)
(The cardinals burst in)
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such
diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost
fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! (To
Cardinal Biggles) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Biggles: What?
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Biggles: (rather horrified): I couldn't do that...
(Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again)

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

:laugh:

Michael Palin is possibly the most underated Python of them all ,and yet if you look at their most loved / famous sketches he is usually one of the key charachters . Brilliant comedic actor . :nod

by **dawson99** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:47 pm

and to proove woofy right, 2 classic palin moments from brian:

Ex-Leper: Half a dinare for me bloody life story?
Brian: There's no pleasing some people.
Ex-Leper: That's just what Jesus said, sir.

Pontius Pilate: Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pontius Pilate: So, youw fawtha was a Woman. Who was he?
Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jerusalem Garrison.
Pontius Pilate: What was his name?
Brian: Nottius Maximus, sir.
[the Centurion giggles]
Pontius Pilate: Centuwion, do you have anyone in your gawwison by that name?
Centurion: No, sir.
Pontius Pilate: Well, you seem awfully suwe, have you checked?
Centurion: I think it's a joke, sir. Sort of like... uh... Sillius Sodus, or Biggus Dickus.
Pontius Pilate: What's so funny about "Biggus Dickus? "
Centurion: Its a joke name, sir.
Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named "Biggus Dickus. "
[guard laughs]
Pontius Pilate: WIGHT! THAT'S IT!
Centurion: Oh, but sir...
Pontius Pilate: No, no, no. I want him fighting weally, wild, wavish animals by the mowning!

by **woof woof !** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 5:02 pm

Must also thank the pythons for giving inspiration to new legends like Eddie Izzard .

(the following from his(Dressed to Kill tour )

The Spanish lnquisition wouldn't
have worked with Church of England.

"Talk!"
"But it hurts."

"Well, loosen it up a bit, will you?"

That's what it would be, tea and cake
or death. "Tea and cake or death!

"Tea and cake or death!"
Students with beards.

"Little red cookbook!
Little red cookbook!"

Cake or death, that's easy.
Anyone can answer that.

"Cake or death?"

"Cake, please."

"Very well! Give him cake."

"Thanks very much. lt's very nice."

"You. Cake or death?"

"Cake for me, too, please."

"Very well. Give him cake, too.

"We're gonna run out of cake
at this rate.

"You. Cake or death?"

"Death, please.
No, cake, cake, sorry."

"You said death first. Death first."
"No, I meant cake."

"Oh, all right.

"You're lucky I'm Church of England.

"Cake or death?"
"Cake, please."

"We're out of cake!

"We only had three bits
and we didn't expect such a rush.

"So what do you want?"
"So my choice is 'or death'?

"I'll have the chicken, then."

"Tastes of human, sir.

"Would you like a white wine?
There we go.

"Thank you for flying
Church of England. Cake or death?"

"I asked for the vegetarian."

"There we go, Mr. Hitler.

"Like a little wine?
Thank you, you Nazi :censored:

."

......................

:laugh:

by **Lando_Griffin** » Sun Feb 26, 2006 2:50 am

I think they should do a reunion series. (Obviously wouldn't ba the same without the late Graham Chapman.

He was regarded as a brilliantly talented actor.

Still be a good show, though, and they could still show some of the b*llocks around now how it's done!!!!!

by **Lando_Griffin** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:00 am

Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam, SPAM, WONDERFUL SPAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **112-1077774096** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:04 am

like i said i have all the episodes on dvd and watching them recentley i noticed a name for one of the female characters was Mrs N*gger Bater. shows how times have changed. (i am not saying i agree with this just simply pointing out the difference between the early 70's and now)

also Mrs cut out is funny in the sartre sketch.

does anyone have the holy grail on dvd? if you have go to the second disc and watch 'knights of the round table' song with lego characters, funny as funk

by **woof woof !** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:26 am

by **Homebooby** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:45 pm

woof woof ! wrote:Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say
that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a
kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)
(The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain (Palin) enters, flanked by
two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles (Jones) has goggles pushed over his
forehead. Cardinal Fang (Gilliam) is just Cardinal Fang)

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is
suprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two
weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our
*three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an
almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no...
*Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as
fear, surprise.... I'll come in again. (Exit and exeunt)

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

(JARRING CHORD)
(The cardinals burst in)
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such
diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost
fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn! (To
Cardinal Biggles) I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Biggles: What?
Ximinez: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are ...'
Biggles: (rather horrified): I couldn't do that...
(Ximinez bundles the cardinals outside again)

Chapman: I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

Michael Palin is possibly the most underated Python of them all ,and yet if you look at their most loved / famous sketches he is usually one of the key charachters . Brilliant comedic actor .

i am reading their autobiography at the moment and am at the point that the team is coming together.

The reason it seems to have come together is that cleese wanted to work with palin and the seed was planted.

by **Homebooby** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:48 pm

Lando_Griffin wrote:I think they should do a reunion series. (Obviously wouldn't ba the same without the late Graham Chapman.

He was regarded as a brilliantly talented actor.

Still be a good show, though, and they could still show some of the b*llocks around now how it's done!!!!!

cleese viewed chapman as an essential soundboard for his ideas....if chapman found it funny, it almost certainly was in his opinion.

Personally from what I have read so far, it seems he managed to sponge off of 3 different writing team pre-python, not pulling his weight and sneaking off knobbing blokes in secret.

by **Lando_Griffin** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 3:12 am

Homebooby wrote:
Lando_Griffin wrote:I think they should do a reunion series. (Obviously wouldn't ba the same without the late Graham Chapman.

He was regarded as a brilliantly talented actor.

Still be a good show, though, and they could still show some of the b*llocks around now how it's done!!!!!

cleese viewed chapman as an essential soundboard for his ideas....if chapman found it funny, it almost certainly was in his opinion.

Personally from what I have read so far, it seems he managed to sponge off of 3 different writing team pre-python, not pulling his weight and sneaking off knobbing blokes in secret.

I'm not sure about that, but this thread deserves a revival anyway!!!!!

"Wolf's nipple chips - get 'em while they're hot, they're lovely".

by **Effes** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 3:36 am

Quest for the Holy Grail is my favourite.

Love the scene where Palin's son is getting married; but his son keeps wanting to go into song and his dad interrupts "We'll have none of that!".

The guards were great as well.

Palin plays a great part of a commoner who grills the King about the English society whils he stacks up mud.

Palin was brilliant.

by **Effes** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 3:46 am

The bridge scene where the bloke asks 3 questions, and ends up getting thrown into the abyss.

One of the funniest scenes I've ever watched.

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