mistyred wrote:F'ck going on holiday with you Woof
woof woof ! wrote:Make a tit of yourself in a Thai gogo bar
Did you wai your favourite Thai gogo dancer, finger her t'wat or take to the chromium pole yourself? Congratulations, you've just made a tit of yourself in a Thai gogo bar. Whether you are a Bangkok first-timer or a seasoned regular bewitched by the beer fairy, here are a few tips and tricks to get you noticed.
For Thais, the prayer-like gesture known as a wai is not so much a greeting as a gesture of respect reserved for their boss or perhaps a monk. Get your evening off to a flying start by giving a cringe-making wai to every gogo dancer. Break down Thailand's rigid class barriers with your sincere display of friendship and equality - the sort of equality where you get to f'uck them up the a'rse later.
If you are a Patpong tourist, don't forget to bring your wife along too. The disapproving glare of an old trout with the missionary smile frozen on her face is exactly what every Thai gogo bar needs. Act like a giggling buffoon with the girls but ignore her completely. As she leads you out, hang back for as long as you can to say goodbye.
In the toilets you will see a notice offering a 49% stake in the bar. Your life savings seem like a small price to pay for entry into the ranks of Bangkok's seedy elite. In a few weeks time you will be riding around in a pink Cadillac with a stable of Thai bitches sucking your c'ock. That's what the other 20 guys who bought a 49% share thought too.
When a pushy girl demands a lady-drink in the same breath as "what your name where you come from" you naturally agree. It wouldn't cross your mind to tell the annoying bitch to sod off. Then you buy drinks for all her friends and the friends of her friends too. Within seconds, your wallet is empty. With a chorus of "I go dance" they scatter, leaving dozens of untouched glasses littering your table.
Most girls will happily wriggle on a guy's knee for a couple of drinks. It would be rude not to touch. Good boys might get a feel of her knockers too. However, she will probably draw the line at a gynaecological examination. You think that the cheeky minx is just paying hard to get. Hold her down. See how many fingers you can get in.
When she is doing her floor show, shove your beer bottle under her crotch as she does the splits. As her mates carry her off, get up and perform an obscene show of your own. The sight of your flabby white a'rse might not impress onlookers but it could catch the attention of your fellow inmates in the police cell. Tonight you will get f'ucked for free.
Even if you had pulled her, you'd have thought that the barfine was payment in full. It would've taken an ugly scene played out over breakfast to set the record straight.
On your way out, reach up and pull the handle of that big bell. Have another go. Cheers mate, the drinks are on you.
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