Technical support - very funny letter - Always read page one first

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Postby Judge » Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:04 am

a letter


Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, i upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which i had used for years without trouble. However, there are apparantly conflicts betweeen these two products, and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A sharware program, Party Girl 2.1, of which i tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, i tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware. I then upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to wife 1.0.

While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with Free-Sex Plus, and Clean House 2002.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, i found that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes i made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when i had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch Turbo Strop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and i have to try and guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are thatWife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and Hair Style Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games i wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.

Also when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT Hard Drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather anooying pop up called Mother-in-Law, which cant be turned off.

Recently, ive been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money Files before uninstalling itself.

Any Ideas ??   

-----------------------------------------------------------

does this sound familiar to anyone?  :D

please dont PM Jmac79, as even he cant solve this one  :D
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Postby Mikz » Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:22 am

:laugh: brilliant
'' Gary lineker may well have scored 5 goals in 5 minutes , but i think you have to say, what else did he do '' ...Jimmy Hill
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Postby kazza 1 » Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:33 am

Very good Judge :D  Had the same problem myself with husband 1.0 and recently with boyfriend 2002!!! :p
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JUSTICE FOR BABY P REST IN PEACE BABY BOY X
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Postby drummerphil » Tue Jan 24, 2006 6:53 pm

very good Alan, never have such true words  been spoken.  :D
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Postby Lando_Griffin » Tue Jan 24, 2006 7:14 pm

That's too true, Judge.  :no
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Postby simic_ie » Fri Jan 27, 2006 10:50 am

:D :D


Excellent stuff
“It was my first of the season, my last of the season, my best of the season and the one I will remember for ever.”

- Vladi Smicer after scoring in the CL Final

"I'm not a believer in fate..... until tonight, they're going to win it!"
-  Liam Brady after extra time of CL Final
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Postby AussieKopite » Sat Jan 28, 2006 8:28 am

class!
You'll never walk alone.

Twitter: @AussieKopite
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Postby Gaunt » Sat Jan 28, 2006 10:15 am

pmsl thats brilliant  :laugh:
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Postby Judge » Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:40 am

why thank you folks :D
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Postby Lionheart » Mon Jan 30, 2006 12:30 pm

You're a class act Judge. :p
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Postby Judge » Mon Jan 30, 2006 12:57 pm

perhaps, i could win the next big brother :D
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