Liverpool FC Forum

by **Garymac** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:51 am

Fat birds do have place in the world, just not mine and thats not through choice, i try but they dont want me, u dont know how happy i feel when i wake up

On the other hand how lonely one feels with out a chubby lover next to me. Honest any night out of mine ends in disaster, im one of those if there is any possiblity of doing something stupid and you know everyone else is thinking "are someones gonna end up looking dead stupid here" then thats usually me, there is a easy cure of course, dont drink, but thats the losers way out, my motto is....

Get p!ssed and look stupid

by **jonnymac1979** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:53 am

Pablo_Escobar wrote:3. Waking up not in Your bed, next to the girl which yesterday seemed a lot more attractive

Was talking to my boss about this today, with it being Friday and all that. We were in this boozer on our lunch today, he was having a couple of Worthies Cask, I was on the Carling Cold, and there was this blonde to our left, about 20 feet away; who had a cracking set of norks on her, fine little bottom, and a tasty face. She was about 30 years old.

Anyway, when her and her party of friends had finished their dinner and drinks, they got up to leave the bar, so me and my boss signalled to each other to have a sly blimp if you know what I mean!!! We were both horrified to see that the said blonde, when she got up close to us, although she had a tidy figure, was at least fifty years old in the face, we shat ourselves and felt like throwing up immediately!!! She was rancid!!! We'd been mentally thinking of things to do to her for ages, and when we saw her, we were speechless!!! Light does matter after all!!!

The wrinkles, dammit!!!!!

Good job it weren't a dimly-lit nightclub otherwise it could have got emotional.

by **jonnymac1979** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:01 am

Garymac wrote:Fat birds do have place in the world

Agreed.

by **Pablo_Escobar** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:46 am

Well Gary, you have some stories to tell :laugh:

Yesterday I went overhaul again -> my mates birthday -> vodka + beer -> coming back home - meeting with police -> lost keys -> troubles getting home.
The worst thing is that I told my bird I'll be at 24.00 for sure. I would be before 24.00 if I weren't so wasted that I was banging at wrong door , wrong house !! When the senses came back to me and I realised my mistake it was 5.00 am

Hell I'm getting to old for this.

by **JC_81** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:10 pm

Great thread!

Signs of too much booze?

1. Getting so pi.ssed in the flat before heading out that you can't even remember leaving the flat, only to be phoned by several mates the next day to tell you how wasted you were in the pub. But you don't believe them and insist that you just had an early night.

2. Obviously waking up beside some bird and thinking 'oh :censored:

'

3. Waking up in a different city from the one you started drinking in.

4. Going back to your girlfriend's flat, wasted after a night out, going into her flatmate's room thinking it was the toilet and pi.ssing all over her as she sleeps (got me banned from the flat and the relationship didn't last too much longer!!)

5. Pi.ssing in the corner of the dancefloor because you can't be arsed fighting through the crowd to get to the toilet.

6. Rugby-tackling a bouncer because you thought it would be funny.

by **Garymac** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:15 pm

Pablo_Escobar wrote:Well Gary, you have some stories to tell
Yesterday I went overhaul again -> my mates birthday -> vodka + beer -> coming back home - meeting with police -> lost keys -> troubles getting home.
The worst thing is that I told my bird I'll be at 24.00 for sure. I would be before 24.00 if I weren't so wasted that I was banging at wrong door , wrong house !! When the senses came back to me and I realised my mistake it was 5.00 am
Hell I'm getting to old for this.

Pablo its me birthday next sunday and im out with work friday, out for the portsmouth game on saturday and then out with me mates on sunday for me actual birthday, im 24 and it should get messy so ill be sure to tell all in here probably sometime next tuesday!!

by **84-1106852058** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 2:46 pm

I know when Ihave had enough tell every one Iam going for a p!ss,and just get off.Caused a few problems sometimes.Was staying with my mate inBelfast picked myself up and left.Didnt have a clue were Iwas or were Iwas staying wandered around for what seemed like hours,before getting a taxi to another mates on the other side of the city.Knocked him up about 4am,boy was he suprised he didnt even know Iwas in N.Ireland.

by **andy_g** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:34 pm

trying to get into a party on ullet road by standing on the entrance steps wall and trying to lean over and bang on the window, overbalancing because of the full bottle of vodka in each trouser pocket (and not being able to judge distance at all) and landing on the floor in the cellar well about 10 foot below... WITHOUT BREAKING THE BOTTLES!! :buttrock

if i'd been sober they'd have smashed to pieces. :laugh:

by **Garymac** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:37 pm

Jesus Andy, that would have been a Fu*kin bloodbath if they would have smashed, its makin me cringe thinking about it

by **andy_g** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:41 pm

and i still managed to cop of with a fat bird afterwards :laugh:

by **Garymac** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:51 pm

and if you would have been sober you wouldnt have coped off with the fat bird, Oh the joys of being p!ssed

by **andy_g** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 10:10 pm

it was actually my birthday that night and my mum and dad were coming over the next day to treat me to lunch. guess who turned up an hour late, still fucked, stinking of booze, half crippled from the fall, big bruise on the head and a strange fat bird in tow.

by **Woollyback** » Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:39 pm

must be something about ullet road and trying to get into parties, got collared by the bizzies sneaking around all these driveways down there looking for some party or other. i was completely wasted so they escorted me home round the corner, only to help me through the front door into a lounge full of about 10 people rolling the biggest spliffs you've seen this side of a cheech & chong film, rolling mats & everything

luckily they weren't too bothered and just shook their heads and disappeared :oops:

by **mitch22** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:23 am

1. Getting in a taxi and cant remember were you live ..

2. Hiding me mates passport after a drunken session on holiday only to wake up and cant remeber were i put it.( stuck on ceiling with chewy)

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