Sorry Charles Dickens.What really happened that night.
The season had finished on a high, Liverpool fans everywhere where just coming down from cloud nine,
The players, Rick Parry, David moores and Rafa all jetted off on there hols, Stevie went to Portugal to stay in his villa, then went to Ibiza for a few days, met up accidently on a beach got someone took some pictures from there mobile, then all of a sudden next day headlines in Marca Stevie The Galatico.
This was the first dread of fear for every Liverpool fan, then Gerrard to Barca, Gerrard to AC Milan the rumours where spreading like a bush fire in the outback.
Then came a volcano like eruption making the bush fire seem as little as a camp fire, Gerrard to Chelsea and when it hit it hit hard hurting everyone that where just mere by standers and no one could control it it engulfed Merseyside and other parts of the world where Liverpool fans were.
Standing in the background where 4 figureheads all they where short of was little horns on top of there heads and pitch forks these where standing over laughing and gloating they had there man, these figure heads where Roman Abramovich, Struan Marshall (set to make millions) greedily rubbing his hands together at the prospect of getting Romans pocket change, Jose Mourino finger to lips telling all the Liverpool fans to shhhhhhhhh he was theres, and a fella who resebles George dubya in his sneaking cunning ways Peter Kenyon.
Mind made up Stevie clears out his locker at Melwood says his final farewells to everyone, and storms out the club drives home, awaiting him Alex his girl and Struan his agent, Alex probably packing boxes of her designer clothes, John Terry and Frank Lampards girlfriends ringin her mobile, Oh Alex its great we can have holidays on Romans Yatch in ST Tropez, we can go shopping in Milan, Paris, and Rodeo Drive have meals in fancy resturants not like them scruffy chippys youve got up there in Liverpool.
Stevies heads battered at this moment he has just seen visions on telly of his adoring fans burning his shirt, graffiti being wrote about him of traitor Judas, Rooney leaving the bitters had no comparison on this one cause of captain marvels heroics 3 weeks earlier in Istanbul, worn out drained from the stress and the pressure, he says im going for a lie down.
He's asleep in his mansion in his humble Liverpool town when all of a sudden a vision appears of a stout gentleman with a cup of tea in his hand, it was none other than Bob paisley, Stevie er what ya doin ere, never you mind sony says Bob, your going to take a little journey with me, come on son Stevie but Ive made me mind up Im goin, never mind that says Bob, he takes him out of his room.
The scene is Rome and Emilyn Hughes is going up the stands to pick up Old big ears with thousands of adoring Liverpool fans cheering there idol on, then Bob says Id like you to meet an angel Steve from behind them outsteps Emilyn, isnt it just the best feeling Steven lifting the heavy one he says in his welsh accent, Stevie yer I know but why are yous tellin me this this goin Ive made me mind up,
Emilyn puts his wings around Steven and says listen boyo you are not a legend yet just think in twenty years time you could have a big bronze status of yourself outside Anfield you could even be the manager, carrying on the traditions of the greatest football club in England.
Stevie still not convinced says oh I wana go home and within a flash he's back in his bed tossing and turning, thinkin to himself that was one weird dream.
Mouth dry he reaches to a glass of water on the bedside table, whilst he's drinking it the glass steams up on the outside, a figure appears put that bloody glass down sonny what do you think your playing at, err what do ya mean Stevie says, the thin grey haired figure says in my day Id have bloody thrown you in the reserves to rot,
well its not like that now Stevie says players can earn 120 thousand a week not a 120 quid, oi says Bill less of the lip son no one answers me back and gets away with it (he says in his broad Scottish accent).
Now get up out that bed and your comin with me, oh not again Stevies thinkin, I know what your thinkin sonny and yer it is again, oh alrite then Stevies goes with him reluctantly the scene is anfield its 1971 he's sitting on the kop Bills shouting to the players and singing along with the anfield faithfull,
Stevens figitting not wanting to be surrounded by the baying kop incase he gets recognised, oh keep bloody still Bill says I thought you was a fan, er I am, well bloody act like one, go on my son thats it put the ball in the net we'll disguss our options later shouts Bill, he turns to Stevie and says
'The problem with you son, is that your brains are all in your head.'
Stevie gives him a sly look as all the Liverpool fans around him are belting out song after song Bill says to him
'Sickness would not have kept me away from this one.
If I'd been dead, I would have had them bring the casket
to the ground, prop it up in the stands,
and cut a hole in the lid.'
Stevies getting worried now at the old mans rambelings, err Bill I wana go home hold yer horses son, there was a player at Liverpool once he had curly hair crackin little player they called him keego, oh yer says Stevie but he was a rubbish manager, Aye says Bill but one hell of a bloody player, did you know he left Liverpool to go on to better things (so he thought) what happened to him Stevie asks,
what happened to him yer ask well we thought we wouldnt survive if he left the same when that bloody Ian Rush left Ian said when he was leaving, Ian said playing for Juventus it was like playin in another country, he didnt last bloody five minutes over there he soon ran back here with his tail between his legs,
and as for Kevin well he could'nt survive without Liverpool it wasnt the other way around, so ya see young Steven this is Liverpool F.C. and we will continue to go on with or without you, no player is bigger than my home.
Ok can I go now you've give me a lecture, Aye says Bill reluctantly wanting to leave the atmosphere of the kop, Bill says Im looking down on here everytime the boys don the red shirt and you my son are one hell of a player but you still have a lot to learn and start respecting the people who made you who and what you are today, all of a sudden Stevie doesnt like to be hit by the truth ohh just take me home.
Stevie is back in his bed tossing and turning scared by the preminitions who had visited his bedroom the past few hours, then a man appears Ola ohhh no not the gaffa, Rafa standing there grinning so then Steve you have many possibilities of other clubs, oh are you the ghost of Liverpool present now rafa?
Er no Steve I am to young to be a ghost, I didnt come to Liverpool to learn english, not that they speak english ofcourse that carah I cant understand a bloody word he says, Stevie gives a little grin, Is Carrah your amigo he asks err yer why, you are not like him says rafa, Whadyamean ? Well carrah would play for nothing for this club, he has been my best player this season,
Stevie gives a sly look, but im the best player at the club, yes you are good Steve but we have another possibililty Shabby is the best passer of the ball in europe. Err yer I know says Stevie, well why would you not want top play along side him?
You kissed him in the final, you lifted him up in the air at anfield in the semi final, for sure if I was still playing I would want him along side me in midfield he is better than frank lampard. Stevie gives another glare at el gafa, you like a little trip abroad Steve, err yer I love goin on me hols, no, no holiday the first time I met you was in Portugal now I have to take you away again abroad to convince you to stay.
Its a smokey atmosphere 3 sides of the ground are packed out with with liverpool fans, singing You'll Never Walk Alone, rafa says I love it when they sing this it make hair stand up on neck, then ra ra ra rafa benitez, ra ra ra rafa Benitez, Xabi Alonso garcia and Nunez Rafas doing a little dance along with the tune, Stevie says why have you brought me here then I dont like dancin.
Like I said I didnt come here to learn english, I didnt bring you to Istanbul to learn to dance, Stevies lookin at him as if to say why are you doing this to me this hurts these fans singing STEVE GERRARD, GERRARD, HE'LL PASS THE BALL 40 YARDS, HE'S BIG AND HE'S F@CKIN HARD OR OURS which ever they prefer to sing but he is ours.
Rafa points a remote control at the pitch he watches himself in delight at heading the ball in past Dida, arm waving eagering his team mates on come on come on, raise yourselves we can win this, then bang in goes number 2 Vladi, all the players filled with confidence and the thought of doing the best come back ever in a Champions league final, then stevie sees himself bursting through the penalty box and brought down in the box, penalty jamie gives a bag of abuse to the ref, f@ckin send him off ref, but the ref gives a pen instead jamie livid.
Saves oh noooooooooooooo on the rebound Shabby bags number 3, the scenes are wild across the world strangers hugging and kissing its out of this world its our cup, Rafas looking at Stevie from the corner of his eye whilst he is watching the game unfold, Rafa gets the remote fast forwards it, to the trophey presentation, then he is given the cup by the UEFA president,
stevies hearts beating fast its the best feeling inside he has ever experienced, running around the pitch with the cup red ribbons trailing, fireworks 50 thousand Liverpool fans all screaming. rafa turns to Stevie whilst he is wild with excitement of watching events unfold again, how could you leave after a night like this he asks him, Steve I know I said that but i am leaving,
for sure ? rafa asks? errr well I dont know now, ok then steve I will take you home, they arrive at St georges hall, err thought you where taking me home, well isnt this your home? We are in Liverpool I thought you where born here, Then all of a sudden the bus pulls round the corner and an amazing roar and cheer goes off, theres european cup baloons flying in the sky, sights never seen before, thousand up on thousands of Liverpool fans singing his name, no one at the club had ever witnessed scenes like it.
Rafa says come on Im taking you home, er no wait stevie says, no you have to drive down to london, take one last look at these people and these streets you where once adored on, whatyamean once adored on?
Well you take that long trip down to London, you can never call yourself a scouser or Liverpool fan again, and leave that captains arm band behind when you go thats for carrah, and in the coming years all these people will be singing for their captain carrah, whilst you will be misserable in London, where the fans wont love you. All of a sudden hurt and pain hits his heart, as he realises this is where he belongs, this is where he's loved not in a club down south.
He will just be another player on the pay roll, no one singing his name, whilst the anfield faithfull are belting out every players name in full voice, and going on to sweep every trophey in front of them, under the best genuine gentleman named rafael benitez.
I will take you home now son rafa says, then stevie wake muttering words i cant leave, I cant leave, i cant leave, he jumps up grabs the phone by this time poor rick Parrys sipping a whiskey out of a pure crystal glass cant sleep at the thought the captain of the club is leaving, Rick hears the phone picks it up, the voice on the other end is of a young scouse man, Rick, Yes Steve I cant go i just cant do it, I cant leave i love it here, I love the club, I love the fans he says as the tears are rolling down his face he cant speak, Rick over the moon delighted oh Steve you silly boy look what you caused, Stevie I know Rick Im sorry, tell everyone Im sorry. Rick? yes Steve? Will you have me back? Of course we bloody will soft lad.
See you in the morning hangs up the phone Stevie grabs Alex Im stayin Im not goin to that things they call a club, Struan''s sitting there his face in his hands as hes just lost out on his biggest payday.
Rick says to his wife, pass me that bottle of whiskey love, Rick hungover the next day his curley hair a mess, he goes to Melwood asks for stevie to come in the office, so then steve what made you change your mind? Stevie says well lets just say I was visited by a few old ghosts of the past, and a spaniard with Gypsey ancestors and there was a curse on anfield for years, but now its been lifted when we won the european cup, and I want to lift it again next year in Gay paris.
YNWA
Its a bit of scouse humour that you would'nt know anything about.
