snore like wilderbeasts,
shave their legs and God knows what else with your razor,
put 3 stone on,
ban all newspapers from the house,
check your phone religiously,
cut your ties with any of your friends they don't like, (or "trust", as they put it),
act like "Biff the bashing bodyguard" around any woman within a 4 mile radius of you,
develop a rather disturbing glare which is firmly aimed at you when you see a woman,
insist on more and more "quality time", until the watch on your wrist is solid fricking gold,
make snide comments when your in company which are innocent to everyone but you (ergo making you lose your rag for no apparent reason),
bit*h to all their friends, their family, their family's friends and their family's friends' badminton partners about you, then bit*h at you for asking your best mate for advice,
blame it all on love.
So what do we do? Split up from them. Genius. Absolutely boffinly-beautiful. Apart from one tiny detail;
Unless we want to a.)become celebate, b.)turn into woofters, or c.)adopt beastiality, we are going to search for another! So we find a seemingly normal, attractive young lady, (much in the afore-mentioned vein), and thus the cycle continues. This, you see, is the cunning of their plan:- They keep us in a freaking loop. There is no worldy escape. We can either accept their fiendish plotting, or jump off a bridge. Bugger.
However, all is not lost!!! I am hoping that we few band of brothers can formulate a foolproof strategy to overcome these matriarchs. (Or we can just have a good moan about them, whichever takes your fancy!!!!!)
![biggrin :D](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
Your thought's, gentlemen...
![shifty :shifty](https://www.liverpoolfc-newkit.co.uk/images/smilies/shifty.gif)