by Ciggy » Sat Jun 11, 2005 9:19 pm
What a total knobhead
From When Skies Are Grey
back door bandits
By john scone from idogone
Date: 11/6/2005
So Liverpool have finally got what they wanted, the lowliest of back-door entries into the UEFA 'Champions' League.
Apparently the opinion circulating around Anfield is that Uefa are disrespecting Liverpool FC by making them enter at the first qualifying round stage (you get the feeling Liverpool expected more favourable measures from Uefa to allow them to effectively 'defend their title' such as automatic entry into the group stage, a 2 goal head start in every game, allowing 'Rafa' refereeing duties should he see fit to intervene during proceedings and allowing the use of a 'Frenchies' goalkeeping system).
They now face the mouth-watering prospect of playing competitive European matches against the champions of such footballing supernations as Moldova, Belarus, Armenia and Kazakhstan to name just a few, less than 7 weeks after winning the 'Champions' League. Obviously it will be hoped that they draw the champions of the likes of Slovakia or Slovenia as opposed to the aforementioned countries.
Should they emerge victorious from the first qualifying round, numerous possible tricky ties would await them in the second. Let us remind ourselves all of this will be taking place while Everton sit back with the other European big dogs indulging in a normal pre-season training regime. 
Again it would be hoped that Liverpool come a cropper in the draw and be paired with Celtic, Trabzonspor, Anderlecht, Dynamo Kiev or Lokomotiv Moscow as opposed to such sundry efforts of football teams as Debreceni VSC (which incidentally sounds like the name of some debilitating disease found in certain forms of pasta) or FC Thun (no clever insult necessary).
Should senors Nunez, Josemi, Pellegrino and co scrape through to the third and final qualifying round, as I'm sure they will, attentions on Merseyside (and Surrey and Norway of course) will turn to Monaco and the 29th of July for a draw that will have a massive impact on Evertonians' possible enjoyment of next season, with Inter Milan undoubtedly the team to avoid (especially with attending the away leg being impossible).
It would also seem that there is a possibility of Everton being drawn against Liverpool, which would set up a truly enormous derby. This would not be ideal though, simply because there would be too much at stake and defeat at the hands of Liverpool in such circumstances would truly be hell on earth. At that stage though there are no easy games and no matter what the outcome of the draw is, it's in Everton's hands to ensure that we make the Group stage of the competition and enjoy some much anticipated 'Champions' League night matches at fortress Goodison as well as numerous jaunts across the continent to sample the delights of foreign soil.
As for now, all we can do is sit back and wait, and hope that at least a few of Moyes' high calibre summer transfer targets have enough functional brain matter to come to the conclusion that at this present moment only a spasticated mentalist (Copyright Alan Partridge) or a money-grabbing leech would choose to sign for the likes of Newcastle or Birmingham over the mighty Blues.
No reference to a certain player resembling an Albino P.O.W intended, of course.
Oh bitterness, bitterness
The only thing the blues possess,
I thank the lord that I've been blessed,
With none of the blueshyte bitterness...
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.
Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011
REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
