Oops, did it again - I keep making these stupid mistakes!

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Postby dawson99 » Thu Feb 17, 2005 9:00 am

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
Into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT? ???!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
Who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just
Not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
Your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out  to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department 
store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very  expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll  just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I  said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell  you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a  shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a  tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
think I  threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with  excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, Let's go to  the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
Feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled” WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
For me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for  the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either!!
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Postby Roger Red Hat » Thu Feb 17, 2005 10:03 am

:D  very good & very true
Sex, drugs and sausage rolls!
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Postby Chrissy » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:23 am

Thats class well done m8!!!!!!! :D  :laugh:  :D  :laugh:  :D
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Postby simic_ie » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:27 am

:laugh: :laugh:

Nice one
“It was my first of the season, my last of the season, my best of the season and the one I will remember for ever.”

- Vladi Smicer after scoring in the CL Final

"I'm not a believer in fate..... until tonight, they're going to win it!"
-  Liam Brady after extra time of CL Final
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Postby Woollyback » Thu Feb 17, 2005 1:29 pm

brilliant :laugh:
b*ll*c*ks and s*i*e
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Postby 84-1106852058 » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:26 pm

You can only get away with that if its your girlfriend.When its your wife she already has your money.
84-1106852058
 

Postby hawkmoon269 » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:54 pm

The Red Baron wrote:You can only get away with that if its your girlfriend.When its your wife she already has your money.

And she decides how much to give you back!!!
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Postby Woollyback » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:55 pm

Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

:laugh:
b*ll*c*ks and s*i*e
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Postby stmichael » Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:00 pm

My wife has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"

So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair. :D  :laugh:  :D
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Postby Woollyback » Thu Feb 17, 2005 10:26 pm

stmichael wrote:My wife has an electric blender, electric toaster, electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"

So what did I do? Bought her an electric chair. :D  :laugh:  :D

:laugh:  :D  :oh:
b*ll*c*ks and s*i*e
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Postby Judge » Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:53 am

Woollyback wrote:Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

:laugh:

lmao  :D


yeah, and she dont like it in the balloon knot neither, eh woolly??  :D
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