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by **dawson99** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 7:11 pm

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer

by **JBG** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 9:47 pm

Thats an old one. Substitute word perfect for mouse/keyboard/cd drive etc.

by **dawson99** » Fri Feb 11, 2005 9:54 pm

...ok...

how about...

Computer Capers
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

im soo bored

by **steppenwolf** » Sun Feb 13, 2005 12:50 pm

dawson99 wrote:im soo bored

Really ?

by **woof woof !** » Sun Feb 13, 2005 7:44 pm

Reminds me of the time I was working in a record shop and a guy walked in,looked around ,then came up to the counter and ordered a hamburger .

by **Woollyback** » Sun Feb 13, 2005 8:44 pm

woof woof ! wrote:Reminds me of the time I was working in a record shop and a guy walked in,looked around ,then came up to the counter and ordered a hamburger .

seriously?

My great uncle went for a Mcdonalds a few years back for the very first time and asked where the knives & forks were

by **Judge** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:03 am

Woollyback wrote:
woof woof ! wrote:Reminds me of the time I was working in a record shop and a guy walked in,looked around ,then came up to the counter and ordered a hamburger .

seriously?

i went for a Mcdonalds a few years back for the very first time and asked where the knives & forks were

seriously

by **woof woof !** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:08 am

Woollyback wrote:
woof woof ! wrote:Reminds me of the time I was working in a record shop and a guy walked in,looked around ,then came up to the counter and ordered a hamburger .

seriously?

Straight up Wooly .
I think he was just visiting , from another planet .

by **Judge** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:11 am

which planet? did he say?

by **112-1077774096** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:18 am

when i was in the police, a girl once called 999 and asked for the police, we just got civillians working in the control room so the civvy never got the job details, he just sent us to the house in St. Helens. when we got there the girl asked us how long she should cook her leg of lamb for as she had her family coming for dinner

by **Judge** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:30 am

no way peewee?

by **112-1077774096** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:38 am

The Return of the Judge wrote:no way peewee?

true, i told her to cook it on full heat for 10 hours, it would have been like a f*cking crisp when they arrived

and then i b*llocked the girl in the control room :angry:

by **Judge** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:43 am

peewee wrote:and then i b*llocked the girl in the control room

you should have just no'bbed her, its easier and more fun

by **112-1077774096** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:45 am

The Return of the Judge wrote:
peewee wrote:and then i b*llocked the girl in the control room

you should have just no'bbed her, its easier and more fun

she was a monster, like big daddy in a wig

by **Judge** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:52 am

in that case you did well to even tell her off, coz if she wanted you, then there would have been little chance of you getting away. No wonder your not a copper now

, enough to frighten anyone

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