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The worst spy - Embarrassing

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Postby RED BEERGOGGLES » Sun Jul 25, 2010 11:48 pm

Ok here's the thing you know that well known saying "I wished the ground would have opened up " well listen to my story .....
remember the  veritable heat wave the other week this is what happened to me ...I had just come in from the Garden and was sitting in the conservatory feet up Ice cold bottle of Becks straight out of the fridge life was just perfect ... When the Wife came in and told me she had been shouting the neighbours from over the way but she believed they were pretending to be out (Women always have to believe otherwise )anyway she asked me to wait till she pulls out of the drive and then check the Garden to see if anyone comes out of their house ... well I sort of said I would so grudgingly I made my way over to the fence of my neighbours garden and peered through the gaps and as I did I was stunned to see my neighbours Wife staring back at me in just the tiniest bikini you have ever seen ... and she asked me if I wanted something ...to which I replied I need a saw (I know not the coolest of answers )
What kind of saw she asked ,I was equally quick with my snappy answer a coping saw will do ... she replied Ok I will have a look why what do you want it for (and here's the pearl I came  out  with )
Oh Im just sawing things  ......... Oh Ok  she said and I could hear her giggles as she disappeared into the shed

"FUCKING SAWING THINGS " of all the Shite things I could say .......... everytime I see her now she smiles that little smile that says I know you were clocking me
I have literally gone over it a thousand times in my head anything would have been infinitely better than the reply I gave anything .....but this  has been haunting me for days now  :blush:
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Postby Dundalk » Sun Jul 25, 2010 11:54 pm

Sawing things :D
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Postby RED BEERGOGGLES » Sun Jul 25, 2010 11:58 pm

Dundalk wrote:Sawing things :D

Its a definite face palm moment isn't  it  :blush:
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Postby Dundalk » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:15 am

Well she knows you were having a perv......but maybe next time she will show you some more!!
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Postby NANNY RED » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:32 am

An what did you saw :laugh:
HE WHO BETRAYS WILL ALWAYS WALK ALONE
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Postby Kharhaz » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:37 am

:laugh:

I was on the bus with my missus and our neighbour sat at the back chatting one time. Now our neighbour was wearing a shirt with the top couple of buttons undone. I was sat near the window of the bus. Now was chatting away and each time I looked around to reply to our next I could see her "Loose Boob". Now rather than blurt out "NIIIIICE" I kept quite and decided to play ignorant. But I couldnt because she kept involving us both in the conversation. Now I was feeling really awkward, so I tried to maintain eye contact with her which was almost impossible. Anyway, soon enough she got off. My missus asked my why I was blushing and so I told her "Loose Boob". She laughed her head off, then went and told our neighbour my dilemma the next day. Which of course they have took the p!ss since.

Women, lousy b@stards ! If you ogle them your a perv, if you dont, they take the p!ss !
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Postby RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:51 am

Dundalk wrote:Well she knows you were having a perv......but maybe next time she will show you some more!!

Like the Screwfix catalogue  :D
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Postby RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:56 am

NANNY RED wrote:An what did you saw :laugh:

I felt like sawing the legs of my wife's favourite coffee table
I told her when she come in and she nearly laughed her tits off .... anyway got a right cob on and told her I would never spy for her again my spying days were officially over ....
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Postby roberto green » Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:04 am

RED BEERGOGGLES wrote:Ok here's the thing you know that well known saying "I wished the ground would have opened up " well listen to my story .....
remember the  veritable heat wave the other week this is what happened to me ...I had just come in from the Garden and was sitting in the conservatory feet up Ice cold bottle of Becks straight out of the fridge life was just perfect ... When the Wife came in and told me she had been shouting the neighbours from over the way but she believed they were pretending to be out (Women always have to believe otherwise )anyway she asked me to wait till she pulls out of the drive and then check the Garden to see if anyone comes out of their house ... well I sort of said I would so grudgingly I made my way over to the fence of my neighbours garden and peered through the gaps and as I did I was stunned to see my neighbours Wife staring back at me in just the tiniest bikini you have ever seen ... and she asked me if I wanted something ...to which I replied I need a saw (I know not the coolest of answers )
What kind of saw she asked ,I was equally quick with my snappy answer a coping saw will do ... she replied Ok I will have a look why what do you want it for (and here's the pearl I came  out  with )
Oh Im just sawing things  ......... Oh Ok  she said and I could hear her giggles as she disappeared into the shed

"FUCKING SAWING THINGS " of all the Shite things I could say .......... everytime I see her now she smiles that little smile that says I know you were clocking me
I have literally gone over it a thousand times in my head anything would have been infinitely better than the reply I gave anything .....but this  has been haunting me for days now  :blush:

My Aunty told me this story the other day, Don't tell me your the pervy neighbour.Your wife never really told you to look did she you just looked because you knew your missus was going out


:D
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Postby RED BEERGOGGLES » Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:19 am

roberto green wrote:
RED BEERGOGGLES wrote:Ok here's the thing you know that well known saying "I wished the ground would have opened up " well listen to my story .....
remember the  veritable heat wave the other week this is what happened to me ...I had just come in from the Garden and was sitting in the conservatory feet up Ice cold bottle of Becks straight out of the fridge life was just perfect ... When the Wife came in and told me she had been shouting the neighbours from over the way but she believed they were pretending to be out (Women always have to believe otherwise )anyway she asked me to wait till she pulls out of the drive and then check the Garden to see if anyone comes out of their house ... well I sort of said I would so grudgingly I made my way over to the fence of my neighbours garden and peered through the gaps and as I did I was stunned to see my neighbours Wife staring back at me in just the tiniest bikini you have ever seen ... and she asked me if I wanted something ...to which I replied I need a saw (I know not the coolest of answers )
What kind of saw she asked ,I was equally quick with my snappy answer a coping saw will do ... she replied Ok I will have a look why what do you want it for (and here's the pearl I came  out  with )
Oh Im just sawing things  ......... Oh Ok  she said and I could hear her giggles as she disappeared into the shed

"FUCKING SAWING THINGS " of all the Shite things I could say .......... everytime I see her now she smiles that little smile that says I know you were clocking me
I have literally gone over it a thousand times in my head anything would have been infinitely better than the reply I gave anything .....but this  has been haunting me for days now  :blush:

My Aunty told me this story the other day, Don't tell me your the pervy neighbour.Your wife never really told you to look did she you just looked because you knew your missus was going out


:D

If that was the case mate I wouldn't be telling you people ,and I would have definitely asked for more than a saw   :laugh:
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