Premiership - yes Kermit, we are still in it as we are every season for 38 games! We are effectively out of contention to win it and, if you disregard results against the top three teams, have lost four games in "Premiership division two"
FA Cup - yes we are still in it, despite being very ordinary against third division opposition. Considering the 3rd round only took place in January and we could be out by February, saying we are still in it is lame
UEFA Cup - unless I missed something we have only played two rounds, so getting through is hardly an acheivement
Carling Cup - we got knocked out of the only cup competition to be anywhere near completion and that at home to Bolton
So to recap - we are in three competitions, one of which has had one round, another has had two rounds and the third (the Premiership), we are struggling to finish fourth in and have lost 7 games already.
I feel so much better about things when you put it that way!
