Liverpool FC Forum

[big al]

Many fans contributing to this forum have recently began to show signs of Manager.dellusional.fixational.complex, MDFC for short.  Even in a current manager vote Gerald Houlier is on 7 votes this is extremely worrying and has led me to seek out the following advice.

I think this MDFC its due to that little know theory 'Ficklebuggers'.

This is a mentally debilitating illness that tends to be prevelent in people with low intellectual capacity.  Its very similar to goldfish syndrome.  A goldfish can remember no more than the last second.  Therefore applied to fans Ficklebuggers would be as follows:

The fans memory is so small that it only has the capacity to remember the last game.  If the last game is a victory then the fan remains happy until the next game.  Capacity to look on a sequence of games is not possible until the end of the season, at which point the fan tends to look at overall tables and wonder how the team got so bad.  For the next two summer months the FickleBuggers fan will spend time in their local bemoaning the fact that his teams manager is an onion
(not to be confused with the nasty turnip illness that struck down former England manager Graham Taylor in his prime). 

Usually in late July, early August the Ficklebugger fan will pick up and forget all about last year.  He will see the manager in a new light and believe his team invincible.  The manager will stimulate the ficklebuggers by making rash and unachievable promises, this is generally enough to sustain the ficklebuggers until the following summer when the whole cycle begins again. 

There are many who have beaten this illness but this generally only happens in a run of bad form and prolonged sequences of poor results or a chairman intervenes(Provided he himself has not got the dreaded illness).  Of course many fans relapse when a they percieve a great win has occurred.  Ficklebuggers has some known patterns as follows

Figures all based on winning these titles

Premiership
Top club= ten years grace for manager
Mid range club= 15 years grace
Low range = life times grace providing don't get relegated to 2nd division, 1st division acceptable

F.A cup
Top club= 3 years grace
Mid Club= 5 years grace
Low club= 7 years grace

League Cup
top club =2 years
Mid Club= 3 years
Low club= 5 years

There is no statistical research for Champions league although it is suspected that it equates to the premiership ranges.Eufa Cup is similar to F.A. Cup. All these figure apply only to ficklebuggers not to objective realists.

The university of life is currently carrying out research into this affliction, strangely enough it tends to be a recurring ailment.  Research indicates that many clubs have had Ficklebuggers but few with long term damaging side effects.  That is of course provided the immune system has not be lowered to relegation status in which case the disease is totally unpredictible.    Many concerned experts would believe that in such senarios others illnesses would interact and cause devastation. Illnesses such as gloryhunters (less intelligent than even Ficklebuggers) I'd-rather-watch-kids-play complex, and of course the worst of all rosyspecs syndrome.

Ficklebuggers can have the following side effects
  Dellusions of being the only real fan around.
  Using unnecessary bad language.
  Being overly optimistic.
  Failure to accurately assess and analyse a game.
  Lack of objectivity.
  Self obsessive behaviour I'm right your not just wrong'
  your nobody.

There is of course treatment available such
as exposure to people who know what they talking about but best results have acheieved by watching
'Liverpool the glory years'

For further support talk to

Redandblue
Greenred
Return of Beavis
Supersub
Big Al
Owzat
Dom1
Has
John Barnes Granny
And many other objective realists

We currently operate a peer mentoring scheme whereby one of our realists would talk and encourage those with ficklebuggers to explore other possibilities

For more information on any of the illnesses mentioned please write to
Big Al
University of Life
Liverpool Discussion forum

[greenred]

   

[Dom1]

  lol   

[big al]

Greenred, Dom1 this is not a laughing matter have either of you read the post here lately.  These are indeed serious times and you two should be setting an example.  I have diagnosed Stu_the_Red to have Ficklebuggers and would ask one of the mentors to support him through this affliction.  I think this is one of the most serious cases I've seen and will require a prolonged effort.  My advice is aversation theraphy start by telling him he's a ***** and build up to absolute w#nk#r its for his own good.  Thankyou!

[greenred]

someone is fiddling the new manager vote as well,not mentioning any names stu.

[big al]

Is stu Houlier covering his tracks by self deprecation or is he really just ill!

[Dom1]

lol (again)

[DAV]

Well not me i want houlier out and as soon as possible before we end up like Everton

[Dom1]

OR LIVERPOOL IN THE FUTURE!!

DOM1

P.S. BUT I SUPPOSE URE RIGHT THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING WITH HOULLIER AROUND IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE YOU ARE INVOLVED IN A RELEGATION DOGFIGHT!!

[greenred]

any tips on relegation dogfights dom?  

[Dom1]

yes, cos i'm sure you'll be needing them in the near future!!

1. just keep cool and remember that it is only a game.
2. just keep believing that it is not going to happen.
3. get your bASEBALL BAT ready if worse comes to worse!
4. laugh at the verbal abuse from rival teams.
5. and finally don't forget that it is the best feeling in the world(even better than winning the league)
    if u miss out on the drop on the last day. (honestly i know)

  Dom1, anytime people,anytime!!

[115-1073096938]

we're fickle for always standing by the manager?

hmmm.

your the one who's changed opinion kid. not me.

thought you were suposed to be intelligent. 

[Gareth G]

I have to disagree about the goldfish lol.

Scientist done test and rubbished that assumption that most people have, it was a test to do with food and some other stuff...oh i sound like a geek and i will shut up now.

Anyway thank you for the funny post, pretty funny guy you are!

[HOMELEIGHKOP]

gh out end of story???

[supersub]

To change one's opinion,on anything,over a period of time is not fickle;it's better to learn and develop with the help of others,than to deny yourself that help and guidance and therefore becoming  a very insular person,unable to communicate and interact with followers of the same religion.In denying yourself that chance to be open-minded you end up blind to anything that stares at you in the face.