by bigmick » Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:12 pm
I don't think the CCTV is admissable to be honest. I've seen CCTV and been in quite a few incidents very similar to this in my previous occupation, and unless the CCTV is really clear it isn't worth anything. This isn't even slightly clear so it's irrelevent. For all we know someone could have pushed Gerrard from behind causing him to think he was being attacked, the guy could have told him in conversation that he had a knife and would use it if he had to, the guy could have kicked Gerrard in the b0ll0cks out of view of the camera, the guy could have spat at Gerrard, the guy could have told Gerrard he was black belt in Karate and Gerrard could have been concerned he was about to attack him etc etc etc etc.
The CCTV doesn't even show clearly that the bloke wasn't aiming punches at Gerrard and his mates.
Now, all that sid we all know what happened because we live in the real world. I wasn't there, but take it from me, THIS is what happened.
Stevie tells one of his mates about a song which is out that he really likes "it's boss" etc. The fella hasn't heard it, so Stevie goes and asks the DJ gadgie for the controller ("here y'are lad" etc etc). DJ gadgie is actually a part time c... in his spare time, and decides to give it Charlie big spud and fecks him off. Stevie goes back to his mates, but now the disagreement isn't about the music, it's about the pride. Probs one of his mates has a wee laugh at the situation whcih winds him up more.
Couple opf minutes later, Stevie approaches the fella and tells him there's no need to be such a c... about the whole thing. Lad gets gobby, and there's a bit of finger pointing with lots of sentences which start with "I'll fecking tell you this for free fella.....". Stevies mate comes over, the inevitable "leave it Stevie it ain't worth it mate", followed by a bit of "ave a bit a that you c..." with the elbow. Manc DJ jumps off his chair and swings, and Stevie and his mate "pummel" him for about five seconds, before being dragged away. ****
**** Enclosed space "pummel" (the definition). You haven't got room to swing, and annoyed as you are you are you don't want to make a c... of yourself in your best shirt and trousers by falling on your erse. So you kind of pin your elbows into your side and do a kind of rat-a-tat-tat GYBS style series of uppercuts, (when you've had a few bevvies you figure it'll make you look like someone who did boxing as a kid). You figure that long after the incident is forgotten, people will still be talking about your "fast hands" and the like. The victim of this "pummelling" invariably adopts a crouched forward "Frazieresque" covering up technique with his head buried in behind his bent arm and elbows. If you ever punched anyone on the elbow you'll know it hurts (you the puncher) so you quickly think "feck that" and resign yourself to cuffing him around the lugholes by slightly hooking your uppercuts.
The net result of the said "pummelling" is that the bloke ends up without a mark on him, the "pummellers" end up out of breath, both parties can reasonably claim that they had the better of things, and nobody mentions fast hands again. It's actually a very reasonable way of sorting out music related disputes in licenced premises. Where the numbers are more even (one on one works best) they can even take it in turns to pummel each other. You pummel him for a bit then go all Joe Frazier while he has his turn.
Anyway then Stevie gets dragged away, there's a bit of "lets just fecking do one!" and it all blows over.
Quick tip: Don't ever attempt the "pummel" outside a kebab shop, you'll just look silly. Here, you need to be more expansive. The "pummel' is more you playing away in Europe, keep it tight sort of approach, whereas outside the kebab shop you need to be "at Home against Hull" in your approach. If you can utilize a council waste bin in some form or another during your display all the better. Remember, space is your friend. If you're losing, run away then turn back when you're a safe distance clear and give it the old "come on then" wiht the old beckoning with both hands dangling at your side routine. If the bloke isn't prepared to go through the ritual of sprinting the fifty yards in between you and him only to see you run off again, you can tell your mates he "chickened out" and that you "would have had him easy".
I have observed these mating techniques from my front room window of pubs over high streets for many years. It's far better than life on earth or any of that public school nonsense.
"se e in una bottigla ed e bianco, e latte".