by Ciggy » Tue Sep 27, 2005 8:35 pm
SOMETHING TO GET ALL OF US IN THE MOOD TO SEND THESE NO HISTORY, 
, GLORY HUNTING CHAVS, SOUTHERN WARM SHANDY DRINKING MUPPETS, KICK THERE COCKNEY @RSES EVERYWHERE ALL OVER THE PARK.
10 things for Liverpool week
By The Chelsea Advocate
Date: 27/9/2005
The Chelsea Advovate lights the fuse for what we hope will be an avalanche of feedback in a week that will see Chelsea travel twice to Anfield. As usual, we ask that any poisonous barbs be directed to our message board thereby allowing an adequate response.
Fans
Personally, I think they are by far the most ignorant, arrogant and petulant fans that it's ever been my misfortune to come across. How can you possibly engage with a set of supporters who have no comprehension of even the most basic facts of football clubs other than their own and who believe that the world owes them a living? They also have an astonishing cheek about them that allows them to feel that they can lecture Chelsea supporters about loyalty. What the hell would they know? How hard can it be to support a club that has won five European cups? Most of us in our youth all the way to the present day will be familiar with the Liverpool fan who always seemed to have a lot to say but usually hadn't been within a 1,000 miles of Anfield Road. It's those kind of plastics that must have made up the numbers for their victory parade because we are yet to receive an explanation for the numerous sub 40K attendances at Anfield last season.
That Goal.
Well it's not as if the city of Liverpool isn't familiar with daylight robbery.
Ickle Stevie Gerard.
I suppose we can call an end to the sorry episode now that the angry Koppites have recovered their burnt shirts from the Shankly Gates. The man who loves Liverpool's "heart, passion and soul" but threatens to leave them nigh on every season unless he gets a rise. Do me a favour. I'm sure the reputed £100,000 a week that Liverpool offered him to stay (which would have made him Chelsea's highest paid player), helped him make his mind up. I, for one, wouldn't have been too pleased to see a man with obviously no commitment to anyone but himself becoming our best paid player ahead of Lampard and JT. If Liverpool fans want to continue blindly pretending that he loves their club and isn't in it for himself then let them. In any case, Michael Essien is younger, hungrier and is likely to prove himself a better prospect.
Rafael Benitez.
Undoubtedly he'll give the 'Liverpool Echo' some nonsense quotes about the special Anfield atmosphere giving Liverpool the edge over us (like it has done for the past two seasons in the league), but he's a brilliant manager. Anyone who can get Igor Biscan to look a player is doing something right. In many ways, he's cut from the same cloth as our own special one - both having a history of getting average sides to perform to well above their level through shrewd man management and clever tactics. His Valencia side played some exceptional football and were extremely well disciplined and he'll probably be hoping to achieve the same with Liverpool. It isn't a surprise that the games between the Mickeys and ourselves were extremely tight. Bank on the same again.
The Press,
You know and I know it, from tomorrow they'll all be writing their articles and columns wearing their LFC scarves wrapped round themselves. Be prepared for a thousand nauseating articles about "passion", "spirit", "heart" and "soul" against "money" and "lack of history". Utterly pathetic, utterly ignorant and an utter waste of money. This isn't a week for buying newspapers. You've been warned.
Key players.
The widemen will be critical for us over the two games, even a woefully unfit Arjen Robben stretched Liverpool in last year's semi-final. We need to get at a back line that is susceptible to pace and with Duff, Robben and Wright-Phillips we have the men to do so. I'm sorry but Crespo must start. Drogba's performance alongside Kezman in the semi final was ugly to be polite. Hernan on the other hand, caused Liverpool no end of problems with his intelligent movement in the final - we'll need more of the same with Lampard, Essien and the widemen making the most of what the opportunities that will open up for them as a result.
For the scousers, Alonso and Gerrard will be looking to run the game. Alonso is a brilliant passer and will probably need to be closed down quickly by Essien and Makelele before he can feed the likes of Cisse and Garcia. If he plays, Sissoko brings some more pace and stamina to the midfield but has a tendency to give the ball away easily. Crouch if he plays is obviously not someone to be left alone at set pieces. And then of course there's the phantom goalscorer himself - Luis Garcia. Watch out for some nonsense from Garcia involving his persnonal jewelry, also.
Man in the middle
The Crouch household should be an interesting place. Peter ( a former Stamford Bridge ball boy) plays for Liverpool and his Dad is a Chelsea season ticket holder.
In your Liverpool slums.
A house very near Anfield recently had to have its value discounted because the area had rat problems. I'm not saying any more.
...whilst we're on the subject of vermin
The match against Liverpool is approaching, therefore our messageboard is infested with a pullulation of incoherent missives from Liverpool fans with an extraordinarily poor use of spelling, grammar, logic and the caps lock key. Any attempt to enter into any debate or banter with them will result in them quickly revealing their lack of a sense of humour or irony, and the discussion will rapidly descend into Liverpool dishing out abuse should a Chelsea supporter dare to criticise that most precious of clubs. As a result, the BAWA admin has already called in Rentokil to have our messageboard fumigated on Sunday morning.
Ticket price watch
Another club that does attempt to fleece its fans with exorbitant prices, tickets are £32 at most for league and cup games with concessions available for kids and OAPS.
Random fact
If we beat Liverpool on Wednesday it'll be our 4th win in the last 6 games over the mickeys. If we beat Liverpool on Sunday it'll be our 3rd successive win at Anfield in the league.
BRING IT ON SOUTHERN FAIRY B@STARDS
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.
Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011
REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
