Liverpool FC Forum

[woof woof !]

lol this thread has cheered me up soooo many times

here goes lee, the man with fat lass carpet burns on his nob 

, that still reminds me of my mate who after a drunken knee trembler up against a back alley wall ended up with a knob 2 inches long and 4 inches wide , he'd spent half the time missin' the target and was bangin' the brick wall .   

[woof woof !]

This threads proving to be quite cathartic .

Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) 1971 , some old dear gives me a lift as I was hitchiking through Bulawayo . As night was falling she very kindly offers to put me up at her place for the night .

She had a face like a sixty year old ball bag (I'm now able to use my own as reference) , but she could suck the chrome off a gear stick.

[Judge]

This threads proving to be quite cathartic .

Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) 1971 , some old dear gives me a lift as I was hitchiking through Bulawayo . As night was falling she very kindly offers to put me up at her place for the night .

She had a face like a sixty year old ball bag (I'm now able to use my own as reference) , but she could suck the chrome off a gear stick.

was her eye socket ok 

[woof woof !]

      I'd almost forgotten that one .

[Judge]

      EYE'd almost forgotten that one .

better written like that woof

[GRAHAM01]

thought i would bring this one back just for you judge

[GRAHAM01]

My first experience of a fattie was when I was 19. She worked in a local working mens club and i had known her since school. Anyway she lived in a flat above an off license and asked me to walk her home. We went inside and I had already weighed up my exit route out of her bathroom window , onto next doors garage and off down the frog 'n toad. I will just make you all aware that I did NOT want to go through with this but she locked the door and I couldn't see where she had hid the key.

anyhow, we had a coffee and she disappears for 10 minutes and comes back dressed in absolutley nothing. Stark bollok naked. Now, I was only 19 and things started to twitch a bit. Next thing i know my pants are around my ankles and she's sucking like a Dyson. I blew my stones all over her mush and thought - phew, I can live with that. But no. the monster had other ideas. I stalled her for about half an hour using her dildo on her, then she dragged me on top and yell for me to bang her proper. I was struggling to find her cavern through the layers of flab. Finally i reckoned I was in so I started banging like a sh!t house door in a gale.

bang - bang - bang - bang - bang. Then my worst experience ever happened. My '3-for-a-bob' had slipped out and with the full force of my thrust...

...my bell end scraped along the carpet.

It felt like someone had hit it with a hammer. I lept up screaming and holding my todger. I daren't look incase i was bleeding and you know what, the heartless bitch had her dildo back up her and was carrying on. 

I called her a fat heartless cnt and she let me go home. I had a carpet burn on my bell end for a week. 

just for you judge

[Sabre]

I'm currently happy with my girl and she's fit, but something tells me I'm not finnished with fatties. I like them as jonnymac .

It's good that way, because even the day my girl doesn't care any more about the extra Kg, I'll be equally satisfied. A happy clappy is always a happy clappy

[GRAHAM01]

I'm currently happy with my girl and she's fit, but something tells me I'm not finnished with fatties. I like them as jonnymac .

It's good that way, because even the day my girl doesn't care any more about the extra Kg, I'll be equally satisfied. A happy clappy is always a happy clappy

what you going to do sabs feed her up till she is a fattie

[Sabre]

No need to waste money on expensive dinners mate. I'll just wait the natural course of life!! In the direct examples I've seen, I've noticed that girls do an effort to fit in the marriage suit, but after that effort they get fat almost naturally in many cases

Some of this before/after effects have been impressive in some mate's wifes . So no need to feed her up. 

[GRAHAM01]

that is very true, but not just in woman it's the same for us men but we care less

[jonnymac1979]

I like them as jonnymac .

True, true.  Nothing wrong with a big arse and big tits.  That's what a real woman should look like in my humble opinion.

[Judge]

I'm not finnished with fatties. I like them as jonnymac .

didnt think jon was fat, nor a bird

but heyho, each to their own 

[Roger Red Hat]

this story haunts me, it was sooooo painful

[GRAHAM01]

this story haunts me, it was sooooo painful

you loved it