Liverpool FC Forum

by **Wilhelmsson** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:29 pm

I understand what you are saying, but my friends would never stop with the insults and mocking. My friend Stefan bought second hand lubrication to use on his girlfriend during anal sex and some of my friends came across his sordid secret and before I knew it everyone in school was talking about it and he still cannot live it down, this happened some ten months ago.

I’m not sure a night of pure sexual gratification is worth a life time of taunts from friends.

by **JamCar05** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:31 pm

This thread is funny as feck! Unfortunately (

) I've never been with a fattie. But one of my mates once made out with one (with a HUGE rack by the way) at a big party. He ended up sitting on her lap while kissing, which looked quite comical

He wasn't the largest fella himself, which just made it all the more funny for all of us watching them. Kinda like Gary Coleman sitting on one of the ladies in the pictures in this thread (well, not the last one, she wasn't nearly THAT big)

by **Bad Bob** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:38 pm

Wilhelmsson wrote:second hand lubrication

Kinell, saving money is generally a good plan but for something like this you'll probably want to go ahead and buy it new and all sealed up! Did he order it off EBay or something? :laugh:

by **Wilhelmsson** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:40 pm

Yes he did, because he was too shy to buy it from the sex shop, he was scared of people looking at him as some perverted teenager. If I told you where he lost his virginity you wouldn’t believe me.

by **Rafa D** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:45 pm

this thread has give me some belter idea's for future threads:

*Your first spliff

*Your first time

etc.

funny as feck

by **Bad Bob** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:46 pm

Wilhelmsson wrote:Yes he did, because he was too shy to buy it from the sex shop, he was scared of people looking at him as some perverted teenager. If I told you where he lost his virginity you wouldn’t believe me.

Try us!

by **Wilhelmsson** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:50 pm

He had his first sexual experience in a garden shed.

by **destro** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:04 pm

Wilhelmsson wrote:
Bad Bob wrote:

Chubby

These are hardly fat women, the picture you call 'Chubby' is a nice shape for a woman to be

A nice shape if she is modeling for Billy Smarts Circus Tents ? Not however IMO what i would call a 'Nice Shape'

My rule is 'Over 10 stone leave it alone'

The worrying thing about some of theses tales is i don't know if you are joking for the humour factor or these are 'Real Life' experiences, if it is the latter of the two then each to his own i guess

by **Bad Bob** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:19 pm

Wilhelmsson wrote:He had his first sexual experience in a garden shed.

There's worse places...just ask Sabre! :;):

by **Wilhelmsson** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:21 pm

I learnt the saying ‘different strokes for different folks’, I like women with curves and shape and I like slim and slender women, these characteristics along with a nice, crazy and kind character hit all of the right keys on my piano.

The woman in question is someone who I am attracted to and I dated a girl with a similar body shape and having sex with her and then having an orgasm which made my body quiver and my toes bend was the best feeling in the world and something tells me only women like that can hit that key on my piano.

My first girlfriend who was slim and slender, made me orgasm, but my second girlfriend made me explode, there lies the difference. This is of course just my experience, preferences change all the time, so who knows maybe I’ll end up with a girl such as Lily Cole, or a girl the size of Dawn French, but it will be a fun expedition finding out.

by **Wilhelmsson** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:22 pm

Bad Bob wrote:
Wilhelmsson wrote:He had his first sexual experience in a garden shed.

There's worse places...just ask Sabre!

Honestly?

Where did Sabre lose theirs?

by **Sabre** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 10:35 pm

Wilhelmsson wrote:
Bad Bob wrote:
Wilhelmsson wrote:He had his first sexual experience in a garden shed.

There's worse places...just ask Sabre!

Honestly?

Where did Sabre lose theirs?

A garden shed has walls and a roof. Far more than good enough.

It's far more than they need the younger lads this days in summer. You end up your night fiesta in the beach in order to have the last cig and maybe a bath if really drunk, and you can stumble with too young lads making things under a towel.

A garden shed is much comfort. Place is not important for me, moment is. I really don't enjoy as some friends do those quickies in a pub's W.C. Others I know seem to like the risk of being caught by a husband, but I don't like it.

My virginity? how and when? well. There are things that must be shared for a laugh, and there are things to keep private.

by **Judge** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:34 am

Rafa-Dodd wrote:Everyone has shagged a fattie and no-one can deny that.

mine was when I was a young lad of around 17 years old.

I was out in Liverpool with 3 friends and we were in an absolute dive that used to go by the name of the fudge. i think it is still operational but it was a dive. Anyways I was shaking my little tush on the dancefloor when we noticed two girls dancing next to us, trying to catch our eye.

I'll admit they were no lookers, at least 20 stone each and at least 25 years of age. Being young and boozed up that didn't matter to me, once we started dancing I tried all the doddy moves and they worked a treat. I think anything would of worked on this pair. And I vividly remember dancing with this thing and her reaching round and grabbing my hands and placing them on the worst pair of boobs in the world. the lad opposite looked at me in absolute digust. His face still haunts me to this day.

As we left the club, these two "stunners", invited me and my mates who had been tapping hagrids ugly sister back to her house. We got on a bus to there estate ( i still cant remember where they lived either from the ale or the trauma of going through with it) but on the way the girl was telling me about her 2 kids and I thought then I should abort the mission, but I was too far into it.

When we got off the bus, it was like Iraq, most houses were boarded up and it was rough as . It made the north end look like heaven.

I thought it, your getting your nuts.

However when she opened her front door to let us all in, there was 4 lads sitting in her house.

it transpired they were sitting off in her house as she let them do it all the time. These lads did not take kindly to 2 little 17 year old birkenheaders coming into their abode and started to act like . Words got exchanged and she booted them out, which I was glad of as I seriously thought me and my mate were in for a hiding.

To pay her back, she asked me to go upstairs to see her house, after wandering into her room, she threw me onto the bed and proceeded to eat my face.

I wont go into the details but it was rancid.

I particularly remember the smell and waking my mate at 4.30am as I had secretly phoned a taxi to sneak out of her house.

She took my number so the next day I got a new sim. I vividly remember being genuinely worried that this sloth would ring us in 3 months telling me she was preggo.

Funny times though.

Come on, who else has done a fattie?

hagrids ugly sister ?!?

what doddy doesnt tell you, is that it was his sister

by **woof woof !** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:16 am

Anyone remember the "Wedding of the Year" that Lee J went too ? Now that was a fatty .

The Wedding Album link

:laugh:

by **daxy1** » Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:40 am

woof woof ! wrote:Anyone remember the "Wedding of the Year" that Lee J went too ? Now that was a fatty .

The Wedding Album link

fekin hell that was funny "do you munter take thee shamoo to be your lawful wedded wife"

best weddin ever i wonder if they have had kids yet and are they on a cities list?

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