Liverpool FC Forum

[Lando_Griffin]

You can't live with them, you can't kill them. A dilema that has faced man since that soppy bint made Adam sample the forbidden fruit. What are we to do, fellow males, when a lady we think is the one for us turns into a raving lunatic, insane with unfounded jealousy, and feeds upon our independance like a rottweiler on a pork chop? A beautiful soulmate becomes a furry-pet boiling, rabid maniac. "Why!?!" I hear you ask. "What possible reason could she have?". Well, gentlemen, I will tell you. Despite their pathetic bleatings about "love", and "I've never felt like this about anyone else...", I shall at last reveal the true secret these harridens harbour; Fack all. Thats right. Sh*g all. They play with us for their sport, reeling us in  with their high heels, short skirts and naughty but nice bedroom capers. Fair enough. However, they don't disclose the facts that they'll;
snore like wilderbeasts,

shave their legs and God knows what else with your razor,

put 3 stone on,

ban all newspapers from the house,

check your phone religiously,

cut your ties with any of your friends they don't like, (or "trust", as they put it),

act like "Biff the bashing bodyguard" around any woman within a 4 mile radius of you,

develop a rather disturbing glare which is firmly aimed at you when you see a woman,

insist on more and more "quality time", until the watch on your wrist is solid fricking gold,

make snide comments when your in company which are innocent to everyone but you (ergo making you lose your rag for no apparent reason),

bit*h to all their friends, their family, their family's friends and their family's friends' badminton partners about you, then bit*h at you for asking your best mate for advice,

blame it all on love.

So what do we do? Split up from them. Genius. Absolutely boffinly-beautiful. Apart from one tiny detail;
Unless we want to a.)become celebate, b.)turn into woofters, or c.)adopt beastiality, we are going to search for another! So we find a seemingly normal, attractive young lady, (much in the afore-mentioned vein), and thus the cycle continues. This, you see, is the cunning of their plan:- They keep us in a freaking loop. There is no worldy escape. We can either accept their fiendish plotting, or jump off a bridge. Bugger.

However, all is not lost!!! I am hoping that we few band of brothers can formulate a foolproof strategy to overcome these matriarchs. (Or we can just have a good moan about them, whichever takes your fancy!!!!!)

Your thought's, gentlemen...

[112-1077774096]

amen brother

[112-1077774096]

now my thoughts, get your self a thai girlfriend. the most beutiful girls in the world and with their calm buddhist temprement it makes them the perfect soulmates.

trust me you wont regret it.






p.s check they dont have a c0ck before you fall in love with them.

[kazza 1]

You can't live with them, you can't kill them. A dilema that has faced man since that soppy bint made Adam sample the forbidden fruit. What are we to do, fellow males, when a lady we think is the one for us turns into a raving lunatic, insane with unfounded jealousy, and feeds upon our independance like a rottweiler on a pork chop? A beautiful soulmate becomes a furry-pet boiling, rabid maniac. "Why!?!" I hear you ask. "What possible reason could she have?". Well, gentlemen, I will tell you. Despite their pathetic bleatings about "love", and "I've never felt like this about anyone else...", I shall at last reveal the true secret these harridens harbour; Fack all. Thats right. Sh*g all. They play with us for their sport, reeling us in  with their high heels, short skirts and naughty but nice bedroom capers. Fair enough. However, they don't disclose the facts that they'll;
snore like wilderbeasts,

shave their legs and God knows what else with your razor,

put 3 stone on,

ban all newspapers from the house,

check your phone religiously,

cut your ties with any of your friends they don't like, (or "trust", as they put it),

act like "Biff the bashing bodyguard" around any woman within a 4 mile radius of you,

develop a rather disturbing glare which is firmly aimed at you when you see a woman,

insist on more and more "quality time", until the watch on your wrist is solid fricking gold,

make snide comments when your in company which are innocent to everyone but you (ergo making you lose your rag for no apparent reason),

bit*h to all their friends, their family, their family's friends and their family's friends' badminton partners about you, then bit*h at you for asking your best mate for advice,

blame it all on love.

So what do we do? Split up from them. Genius. Absolutely boffinly-beautiful. Apart from one tiny detail;
Unless we want to a.)become celebate, b.)turn into woofters, or c.)adopt beastiality, we are going to search for another! So we find a seemingly normal, attractive young lady, (much in the afore-mentioned vein), and thus the cycle continues. This, you see, is the cunning of their plan:- They keep us in a freaking loop. There is no worldy escape. We can either accept their fiendish plotting, or jump off a bridge. Bugger.

However, all is not lost!!! I am hoping that we few band of brothers can formulate a foolproof strategy to overcome these matriarchs. (Or we can just have a good moan about them, whichever takes your fancy!!!!!)

Your thought's, gentlemen...

We're not all like that you know!! Maybe your picking the wrong ones!!
Maybe you get yourself one off those laddette girls!! There are a lot of us out there, who enjoy having a pint or two! we can fart like any good man can!! We can get on like one of the lads! There's nothing I like more, than going to watch football and have a pint afterwards!!! I play darts, snooker and pool

good luck in your search

[LFC #1]

Can't live with them, can't live without them. 

[Pablo_Escobar]

I can't say I agree with ya Lando.
Yep, I agree that sometimes woman can be pain in the @rse.
But from my personal point of view - my women can sometimes annoy me - "more quality time", "don't spend so much time before PC" etc. but I can't seem to picture my life without her. Sometimes it get worse, but the plus side is so strong that it wins by a mile.
You just hagve to find a right one, one that suits You, that you feel like You don't want anyone else, and vice-versa.

PS. Don't fuc.ing say - "I hear violin playing" Yes I'm a fuc.ing monogamist, in love with my girl and I'm proud of it

[jonnymac1979]

Top topic.

[jonnymac1979]

Where the fu*k's Ginger Sid gone?

[Woollyback]

never mind ginger sid, where's me friggin 5 stars!? 

[jonnymac1979]

Both on my PC which I can't switch on as I don't have a monitor.

Fu*k me, desparate situations require desparate measures, I'll try and get it sorted ASAP.

[Ciggy]

never mind ginger sid, where's me friggin 5 stars!? 

And mine cisse's bald without his 5 stars 

[dawson99]

back to women, i think they are all great.

they only do bad stuff if u let em. just be nice, give them something, get something back. its all good. not sure about thai women, never dated one, but japanese women are also very calm, and some dont need to shave so that sorts out the razor problem as well

in conclusion, women are fantastic, and i love them all (except the mingy ones)

[Dom1]

You can't live with them, you can't kill them.

what a qoute        

[Judge]

now my thoughts, get your self a thai girlfriend.

p.s check they dont have a c0ck before you fall in love with them, unlike me, but who cares

i admire your honesty peewee     

[zarababe]

.. This is such a boring ... boring ..boring topic.. play another tune fellas.. 

Sexual stimulation coupled with a brain for intellectual arousal too is a requirement for some of us intelligent women... . and just how many of you have that  

..  we women have demands too u know.. sexual and intellectual..