by Lando_Griffin » Sat Nov 25, 2006 4:48 am
The thing is - we are already taxed to buggery for the "privilage" of driving.
Let's look at what our Government obviously thinks is too little tax on drivers:
1. So you're 17, and you want to drive, huh?
OK - nip to the Post Office and get a Provisional liscense application form and a taxed stamp. Fill it in (using the taxed pen you bought), enclose a passport photo (taxed at the booth), then post it along with the £40-or-so (which is from what's left after the taxman has taken his bite out of your (or your parents' wages)), and we'll send you a nice shiney bit of plastic with your photo on it.
Then, need to phone round for a Driving instructor. (The phone was taxed, and every call you make is taxed.) Find one that doesn't take the p*ss with their exorbitant prices (if you have the stomach for 40 hours on the phone), and you're ready to go.
OK.
So your instructor turns up, talks for 55 minutes, lets you sit in the drivers' seat like you're a DRIVER, then says - "OK - that'll be £25 please." (Taxed).
Because you're a bit of a W*nk driver, you need 40 lessons, totalling £1,000.
You are now Gordon Brown's bitch.
He likes you, and is going to make it even harder for you to pass - not to make the roads safer, but to increase his wad from you - Britain's newest cash-cow.
So you then book an appointment at the DSA to do your theory and "Hazard perception" b*llocks. The call is taxed, the fee you pay is taxed, and to top it all off, they give you a certificate that is only valid for 2 years. (So if you're unfortunate (or thick) enough to STILL be a learner after this time, you get to do it all over again.
Swell.
Let's now assume that your instructor (Or Government-enlisted shellfish-sh*gger), is not a complete gimp, and, in a moment of uncommon madness, books the actual test for you. (Therefore saving you ANOTHER taxing moment.)
You pay about £50 for the test (taxed), and (You'd better sit down for this one, friends), your instructor only charges you for one hour, rather than 1 and a half.
How Christian. How thoughtful. How considerate of the b*stard who has spent the last year bleeding you dry like the sad dog turd you truely are.
So that's £75 then. (Taxed twice, you understand.)
Let's assume that you are one of the rapidly decreasing few who is lucky enough to pass first time, thus saving you the embarrassment of having the Bailiffs at your door, hounding you for your rental TV and your last slice of Bakewell tart.
You then need to send your Provisional license, in exchange for a pink version, which is known as a "Full" driving license. "That will be £12-odd please, sir." - "I'm sure it will, love."
Oh, and the stamp is taxed, do not forget.
So - you're all beaming with pride having a nice new card to put next to your gym membership, and to your credit, your smile does nothing but broaden at the thought of shelling out ANOTHER whacking great load of dough on a f*cking car.
This is where the fun REALLY starts.
You get your Dad (or other), to take you round the garages (or peoples houses), in search of the object of your desires.
You find a suitable one, (for demonstration purposes, it shall be brand new), haggle a whopping 2% off the asking price, and settle down for a credit check.
Now, you see, the shark (sorry, I mean "salesman"), is ringing the credit company, all the time thinking "I can't believe another thick c*nt is buying new". It's there. It's the truth.
Buy a 1-day old car and knock a 3rd off the price. Sad, but true.
Anyhoo - the credit check comes back hunky dory, and you put a suitably hard-earned deposit down (or "Daddy" does), and you're on your way, right?
Not quite.
You see - the deposit was taxed before it came into your dad's bank account. The vehicle needs registering. That is basically another name for tax. A numberplate and some bimbo in Swansea pressing a button does not cost £125-odd. It just doesn't.
Then, you need to buy insurance. We don't need to know how much of the fee is tax, suffice it to say that at least 80% goes straight to Mr Brown. The b*stard.
So. Now you need to TAX it. The good old road fund liscense. (Which, ofcourse, is subject to VAT, so it is in essence, a taxed tax.)
The credit you foolishly took out will tax you to like a bulldog on a pork chop, and you will be raped at the petrol station every single time you touch a pump.
Think about it this way - BP were making over £1million per second the year before last, yet they get less than 3p per litre. The entire overheads, from the refining process up to and including the actual filling station workers' wages, cost less than 10p per litre. If you put £10 in your car at 0.90p per litre, c.£1 is paying for the fuel. The rest is tax.
And that means it goes to Brown.
Don't you just want to chubby his cheeks and give him a kiss?
Congratulations:
You are a driver.
SO to anyone who says "Car's are bad - tax drivers, etc":
Don't you think we pay enough?
Last edited by
Lando_Griffin on Sat Nov 25, 2006 4:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Rafa Benitez - An unfinished Legend.
will. There is absolutely no way I'll put that tracking device on the dash board of my car, I'd rather be sent to prison than have my privacy infringed. Blair bangs on about human rights, yet he's breaching those rights he implemented in 1998. The guy is a joke, next he'll be pushing legalisation through tag every blokes never regions with a tag to check how many times they screw someone a day.
