Liverpool FC Forum

[RAFABENITEZ]

So what are yur romantic tales?
they have to be true and about you, they dont have to end good r bad, funny or boring..........

[Cool Hand Luke]

no offence mate but you do need to grow some balls

[RAFABENITEZ]

why? your comment may be very funny, it nearly made me laugh to death, but how dya mean,

[zarababe]

[dawson99]

one of my old classics, about TRUE romance

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
Into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT?!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
Who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just
Not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
Your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out  to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department 
store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very  expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll  just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I  said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell  you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a  shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a  tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
think I  threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with  excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, Let's go to  the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
Feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled” WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
For me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for  the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either!!

[dawson99]

another TRUE dawson story


hey all, this is just soemthing i had to share that happened to me, any other stories of morals?

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a
year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way,
my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was
only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her
younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore
tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when
near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little
sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be
married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome
and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make
love to me just once before I got married and committed ! my life to her
sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up
and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up
the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw
them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and
went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the
house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was
standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are
very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a
better man for our daughter.








Welcome to the family. "The moral of this









story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car."

[Cool Hand Luke]

one of my old classics, about TRUE romance

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
Into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT?!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
Who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just
Not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
Your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out  to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department 
store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very  expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll  just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I  said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell  you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a  shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a  tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
think I  threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with  excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, Let's go to  the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
Feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled” WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
For me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for  the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either!!

Thats one of the funniest things I have ever heard!

 

[dawson99]

another TRUE dawson story


hey all, this is just soemthing i had to share that happened to me, any other stories of morals?

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a
year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way,
my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was
only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her
younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore
tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when
near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little
sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be
married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome
and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make
love to me just once before I got married and committed ! my life to her
sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up
and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up
the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw
them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and
went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the
house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was
standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are
very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a
better man for our daughter.








Welcome to the family. "The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car."

this is the classic luke...lol
my personal face

im sucha  romantic lol

[Cool Hand Luke]

yeah heard that one plenty of times, still cant get over the first one.

so much for romantic stories:D

[dawson99]

there was the time i didnt wipe it on the curtains as shed just cleaned them,... thats kinda romantic right?

[Cool Hand Luke]

there was the time i didnt wipe it on the curtains as shed just cleaned them,... thats kinda romantic right?

too much information

[dawson99]

wiped my hands...HANDS!!!!!!

filthy minds some people

[Ciggy]

I hate romance its cr@p 

[zarababe]

So what are yur romantic tales?
they have to be true and about you, they dont have to end good r bad, funny or boring..........

.. u need to read "Mills & Boons" ... 

[Woollyback]

I hate romance its cr@p 

Get round Woolly's gaff then, I gotta job for you