People's names - The truth at last

Please use this forum for general Non-Football related chat

Postby Woollyback » Tue Nov 22, 2005 9:44 am

Blimey, Zara's secret is out :D

Looks like I'm gonn a have to get me a couple of Carolines :eyebrow



MEN'S NAMES

Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, has the potential to be stalked.
Adrian - small todger, probably gay.
Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex - cute but a liar and a cheater.
Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule.
Andrew - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
Arnold - loser.
Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
Ashley - w**ker who's losing his hair.
Barry - lights fires, pinches girl's bottoms and is well hung.
Ben - kind hearted, will do anything for the one he loves.
Bert - looks like he has been pulled through a hedge backwards and chews with his mouth open.
Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
Brad - thinks everyone likes him... but they don't.
Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett - worldwide sl*t and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - a wanna be charmer, he's not the Messiah he's just a very, very naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid
Bronsen - annoying and never grows up
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.
Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Cameron - Australian, like Bruce.
Carl - thinks he's funny... he's not, falls asleep during sex.
Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly
Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.
Christopher - soppy and too clingy to make a relationship last. Spends most of his life drunk and kisses like a washing machine.
Christian - very sexy and seductive, full of his self.
Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
Clive - very sweet and adores girls, but prefers to watch.
Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Colin - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
Craig - the lights on but no ones at home.
Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
Daniel - sweetest guy in the world,soft and gentle but good in bed! hes a keeper!!!!!!
Darren - charming, but sleeps with men.
Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates.
David - hottie and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence. Can be gay!
Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter i.e. a w**ker.
Dean - full of himself and thinks with his ****.
Dennis - either very nice to girls or a f*****t.
Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don - di*khead.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Drew - bad
Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
Dylan - horny b**tard, who can't sing.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get 'cos he's an a*se****.
Elliott - full of himself.
Eric - shy.
Ewan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
Frank - "different"
Fred - sucks pig's dicks & swallows the lot.
Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary - dreams about mud wrestling girls. drug addict but willing to share.
Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves, treats girls like s*** also a w**ker.
Glen - the sweetest guy
Graeme - very hard to understand, likes group sex.
Graham - will screw anything.
Grant - HORNY! But so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Harry - has back hair.
Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Hathem - smooth, but manipulative, not to bet trusted around young girls.
Hayden - tries hard.
Henry - has gay like movements frequently. likes to run every where. would screw welli boots.
Howard - likes small breasts
Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him... yeah right!
Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
Jack - stupid but hot, always alright.
Jake - shy and sweet but a sl*t when drunk.
Jamie - scum of the earth.
James - built like a horse. likes to bite while kissing.
Jason - big headed. never fails to grab the girls attention, full of bullSh*t.
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel - a*se.
John - has no friends or life
Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.
Jon - countless two timer and bully.
Jonathon - loud, sex mad and great with it
Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Junior - hottie and totally good at football.
Justin - aggravating but loveable, insecure but successful.
Judith - Eats a lot, likes to feel superior.
Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kane - an absolute and complete a*se****.
Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends. Also has a large penis.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Kurt - can kick anyone's a*se.
Kyle - hornball who eats too many corn chips.
Lance - Plays with his penis cos no one else will.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big a*se.
Laurie - short and funny looking.
Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total a*se bandit.
Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a t*sser.
Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
Liam - loud mouthed a*se****.
Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
Luke - seems to be sweet. bit of a t*sser though.
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Marc - an idiot, who can't spell. would do anything for sex.
Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy b**tard.
Matt - likes drink and is full of s***.
Mathew - has less brains than a donkey does in one of it's hoofs. Thinks constantly about porn.
Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl.
Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
Mike - sh*g muffin.
Mohammed - small penis.
Morgan - the only thing that is big is his ego.
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Nick - nice
Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
Oscar - loser.
Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time ago.
Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big.
Ricky - ugly Sh*thead who everybody hates.
Rikki - the f^$king greatest in the world, everyone loves this guy... no faults at all.
Rob - constantly watches porn.
Ron - spends most of his time looking at the base of his spine, when his head is up his own a*se.
Roy - total loser and computer genius.
Rupert - arrogant t#at who is :censored: in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell - likes to play in the leaves, which makes him an a*se****.
Ryan - tall with sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Scott - has serious disabilities. also takes it up the butt.
Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane - not very nice, lies to pick faults (changed now)
Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun - bit of a hard b**tard, thinks women love him.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Says he is the man but talks B*****ks.
Spencer - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster.
Steve - popular and funny & hung like a donkey.
Stuart - droll guy with great a*se and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.
Ted - hairy, sensitive and a great sh*g.
Teddy - great friend, :censored: boyfriend. clowns have been known to look more stylish.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby - best blow ever.
Tom - extremely arrogant.
Tommy - no
Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around, prefers getting done up the a*se
Travis - fat and horny with the best Whats in a name... collection to be found.
Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Troy - cute and popular.
Taylor - happy, laughing hyena.
Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will - wishes he were popular.
William - tall, dark and handsom. ie when it's dark, he is handsom and tall.
Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
Zack - thinks he is superman. great in bed due to ego.
Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

WOMEN'S NAMES

Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
Aimee - Likes to strut her stuff, though theres not much 2 do so. Likes to play with cheese.
Aimz - Like italian breakfast bread rolls. hollow on the inside. would die to screw a lamar.
Aisha - laughs like a hyena, fantastic in bed. likes tic
Alexandra - Smart kick :censored: chic.
Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Amanda - IQ tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good sh*g though.
Amberley - queen of ice, no friends with a nasty mean streak. More than likely a lesbian but nice teeth
Amy - devious, likes being on top, never stays the night
Aimz - limited intelligence.
Andrea - small breasts, drinks pints.
Angela - vain, hairstyle more important than oxygen. Hangs around toilets.
Anna - has eyes bigger than her stomach. but her waistline shows it.
Annabelle - doesn't wear knickers.
Annette - she's BIG.
Anne - looks like a horse, can't drive.
Anouska - sh*gs like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.
Beatie - she would rather jump out of a plane with out a parashoot than having to pick up a spider.
Belinda - pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beryl - repressed alcoholic.
Betty - makes simple tasks seem like brain surgery.
Beverley - trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bianca - ginger.
Bridgette - eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - falsely improved, no use to society.
Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Carina - looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
Carol - into everything you've only ever read about. Coin
Caroline - into threesomes. Likes doggy style. Always up for it.
Carly - the sexiest b**ch in the world!!!!!!
Carli - pretty but more mouth and flirting than action in the bedroom.
Casey - painful lay, na•ve but with a sense of humour, possibly once a man
Catherine - attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Claire - perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess.
Celine - emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Charlotte - enjoys tea and cake, can sing the national anthem.
Cheryl - can fit hand in mouth, eats glass. Has many ways with the boys
Christina - hasn't got much of a life due to being a boring person. likes cammels.
Christine - likes men in uniform, never warm.
Claudia - highly annoying. finds it hard to keep friends.
Daisy - virgin.
Danni - should make nice threesome with sibling.
Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn - gets up early, smells of chips.
Deborah - bites the pillow, uses both hands.
DeeDee - cannot understand why no one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise - sits on cat's eyes, wears too much make up.
Diane - enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Doris - purple haired, stinks of wee.
Elaine - rides sidesaddle, drinks meths.
Eleanor - centre of attention when she walks into a room,not always for the good. has the gift of gab.
Elizabeth - born to perform, hates chickens.
Ellie - far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
Emily - wears odd socks but that doesn't mean shes not cute!
Emma - gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Estelle - likes wombles, eats grass.
Esther - plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Faith - legs meet at knees, can't sh*g standing up.
Faye - wears wellies, can't swim.
Felicity - she'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts
Fiona - female mud wrestler, gives head.
Frances - gives oral for a one pence peice. but loves to sow.
Frankie - would make it as a farmer. people say she needs to shower more.
Gail - farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gayleen - big tall woman who talks 'bleep' all day.
Gaynor - lesbian.
Gem - like an arm chair. comfotable, loved, odd.
Gemma - practically perfect in everyway. Loved by everyone. Good listener and friend.
Geraldine - too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gillian - dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
Gina - eternal mother, eats nappies.
Glenda - eats children, hates smoking.
Georgina - wants to be a man.
Grace - blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah - needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Harriet - has a brain somewhere, will prob end up living on pizza.
Hayley - lives on dads beers, is lazy b**ch.
Heather - sh*gs like a freight train, a screamer.
Helen - loves sleeping and alcohol and is work shy.
Heidi - the hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.
Hilary - frigid b**ch. Thinks money grows on trees.
Holly - prickly to the touch, seasonal sh*gmeister.
Ina - drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Jackie - heroin addict, sold her child.
Janet - soft, warm and really cuddly. Good sh*g.
Jane - enjoys w***ing men (or women).
Jasmine - smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jemma - does rear, wears too much eye make
Jennifer - huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jerrica - a b**ch thinks she's good
Jessica - virgin, always will be.
Joanne - moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
Jodie - absolutely perfect in every way, every group of friends should have one!
Joy - would make a good exotic dancer. men love her.
Judith - big eyes, big tits.
Judy - huge tits, married to an a*se.
Julia - innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes.
Justine - massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
Julie - jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.
Karen - too smart for her own good and is insensitive to others.
Katie - big feet, sh*gs men over 50.
Kate - talks complete B*****ks all the time, scavenger.
Katherine - is a follower. doomed to be successful but not compleatly happy.would fight for a tea cosy.
Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kerry - perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess.
Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke and wears a wig.
Kirsty - eats live moles, can't dance.
Kylie - can't sing but who cares.
Lana - hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
Lara - action packed, never seen naked.
Laura - likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
Lauren - pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leah - likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
Lena - eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
Leslie - likes bondage, hates men.
Linda - perfect in every way
Lindsay - likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
Lisa - will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
Livvy - pink, prim and perfect. people find this annoying.
Liz - good looking, definately one to sh*g.
Lorraine - constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies.
Louisa - sensible head on her shoulders. collects socks.
Louise - real babe, bright too, I'd drink her bath water.
Lucy - strange dancer, wants to marry her dad. theif.
Madeline - drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Maggie - trainspotter, likes plaid.
Margaret - lovely mother, very generous.
Maria - bangs like a barn door.
Marie - life's slapper. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina - no get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marilyn - eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Martina - ugly lesbian.
Martine - can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
Matilda - likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
Mary - gets hurt easily.
Meg - cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
Megan - loves nature, cares more for trees than people. radical and gets things done.
Melanie - can hold two bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melissa - eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Meryl - dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
Michaela - likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle - wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Marsha - big butt, small brain.
Monica - doesn't swallow, should have.
Naomi - wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy - white hair, remembers manners.
Natalie - eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - could use a face lift but is a sweet loyal friend
Nell - hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nicola - slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Nicole - girls hate her, men use her and dump her.
Nikki - loved up, eats cucumbers.
Nina - stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Nisha - hs a deep interest in the YMCA. falls in love easily.
Olga - you can park a bike in her a*secrack, excessive facial hair.
Olivia - neutron bomb.
Pamela - gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Pat - forest forager, likes wild boar.
Paula - transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Penelope - pit stop queen, likes men to be stiff.
Penny - burps like a man, lives in dungerees and gets told to shut up alot.
Phillippa - butt ugly lesbian.
Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Rachel - amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her a*secheeks.
Rebecca - hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rhia - alcoholic, goes after mingers.
Rosie - can be prickly, good head
Rula - she measures up well.
Sacha - believes carrots make you see in the dark, likes crotcheless knickers & malteasers.
Sadie - stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
Sally - drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - loves her brother, has four deformed children.
Sandra - sh*gs donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sarah - hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.
Selina - doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Sharon - sh*gs like a locomotive, yo
Shirley - can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Sian - does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Simone - used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
Sonya - dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a carrier.
Sophie - brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
Stacey - likes crotchless jeans and a*seless Speedo's.
Steffi - closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
Steph - is a pretty, loved by her family and prince charming, has it all i.e spoilt daddy's princess.
Stephanie - eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Sue - totally gorgeous!
Tanya - hot minx, too short.
Tara - upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
Tiffany - annoying and clingy but makes up for it by being damn fit.
Tash - lives about 10 seconds behind everyone in the world but makes up for it with her tits
Tina - face like a smacked a*se, should eat less.
Tori - lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
Tracy - easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
Tracey - lesbian.
Ursula - likes puppies, in curry.
Vic - Likes to go commando. Dreams of futures with lots of leather and men in thongs.
Victoria - too smart for her own good and is insensitive to others.
Vicky - likes Yoga and Men. Perfect in everyway. Known to be very loud.
Vikki - wears too much lipstick to taste food. Runs after dumba*sed guys who don't like her.
Wendy - possibly a man.
Zara - face like an elephant's backside. Can't see her toes from breast enhancements.
Zoe - talentless rock chick.
b*ll*c*ks and s*i*e
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Postby The Canadian Red Army » Tue Nov 22, 2005 9:47 am

Daniel - sweetest guy in the world,soft and gentle but good in bed! hes a keeper!!!!!!

youve definately got that right  :;):  :D
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This is soo true - Daniel - sweetest guy in the world,soft and gentle but good in bed! hes a keeper!!!!!!
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Postby Ciggy » Tue Nov 22, 2005 9:56 am

Thats so not true, I hate sowing and I dont give Oral either and ecspecially not for a penny :D
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

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REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby Roger Red Hat » Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:09 am

Woollyback wrote:MEN'S NAMES
Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total a*se bandit.

Not sure if I agree.

:D
Sex, drugs and sausage rolls!
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Postby Woollyback » Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:27 am

cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:Thats so not true, I hate sowing and I dont give Oral either and ecspecially not for a penny :D

or maybe your forum name is more apt :D
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Postby Woollyback » Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:30 am

mine's shit, i should've been a Brett "worldwide sl*t and really insensitive, women love him."

or wait a minute.... was it Bert?  "looks like he has been pulled through a hedge backwards and chews with his mouth open"  :D
Last edited by Woollyback on Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ciggy » Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:30 am

Woollyback wrote:
cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:Thats so not true, I hate sowing and I dont give Oral either and ecspecially not for a penny :D

or maybe your forum name is more apt :D

:laugh: Not a bloody chance in hell, :D
There is no-one anywhere in the world at any stage who is any bigger or any better than this football club.

Kenny Dalglish 1/2/2011

REST IN PEACE PHIL, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
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Postby Woollyback » Tue Nov 22, 2005 10:34 am

cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:
Woollyback wrote:
cisses_gona_get_ya wrote:Thats so not true, I hate sowing and I dont give Oral either and ecspecially not for a penny :D

or maybe your forum name is more apt :D

:laugh: Not a bloody chance in hell, :D

yeah i don't do housework either :D
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Postby dawson99 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:37 am

they missed out one
dawson: a dude

in reality mine is that iom exceptionally attractive to the gay world :D
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Postby Piewhack » Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:40 am

Apparently i make girls feel like virgins again :)

hmmmmm....
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Postby 112-1077774096 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:52 am

Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.


same here piwhack, we are obviously both big boys     :D
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Postby Judge » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:04 pm

Woollyback wrote:Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.

thats relatively true  :D

i hate you woolly  :D
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Postby stmichael » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:15 pm

Woollyback wrote:Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.

oh my god, that's so true it's scary. :laugh:
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Postby stoney » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:37 pm

Woollyback wrote:MEN'S NAMES

Alex - cute but a liar and a cheater.

yeah that sounds juist a bout right  :D
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Postby jonnymac1979 » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:39 pm

John - has no friends or life?

What the fuck? :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
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