Liverpool FC Forum

[Big Niall]

America is a funny place - It has some really cool cities like New York but then has all these backward small town bible bashers waiting for jesus to come back.

I think the cool states should ditch the loser ones. As far as I can remember the last time American states wanted to leave the union it all worked out fine didn't it

[account deleted by request]

Good a place as any for this one: 


U.S. Gives Up Trying To Impress England

May 26, 2004 | Issue 40•21

CHICAGO—Americans across the nation declared Tuesday that, after 230 years of trying to prove to England that the U.S. is a worthwhile and relevant country deserving of the European nation's respect, they are officially giving up.

"When America was only a couple of decades old, and England had been around for centuries, it was understandable that they looked down on us," said Rosie Hendricks, a mother of two from Arlington Heights. "But now, we've both been around for centuries. We're both international leaders. It's way past time England started treating us a little better."

"Yes, their royal family is cool, and yes, they have The Beatles and Shakespeare, but—well, they don't have to act so high and mighty," Hendricks said. "Every time they talk, it's like they think they're better than us. Do they think we don't notice that look on their faces?"

According to surveys, Americans are not looking for special treatment from the British, only a little bit of acknowledgement once in a while.

"All we want is one little nod of affirmation, a pat on the back, a 'good job' for some of the things we've done as a country," said Matthew Prousalis, a customer-service agent for AT&T Wireless in Peoria. "Really, all it would take is a quick 'Thanks for inventing the first successful gas-powered automobile. Keep it up.' That's it. But no, nothing."

"I've admired the British ever since I saw them on PBS as a kid," Prousalis added, blushing slightly. "Do they have any idea how bad they make us feel when they disregard us like this?"

Nicole Arndt, a computer-system sales representative from Chicago, said she was frustrated by England's dismissal of American entertainment.

"The British are always acting like we're so base," Arndt said. "Well, maybe we do go in for violence and sex a bit more than some other countries, but all around the world there are people who really love our movies and music. Just because we do things a little differently, that doesn't mean it's wrong."

Added Arndt: "In fact, I'd be willing to wager that, if we chose our five best movies from the past year and Great Britain chose theirs, and we asked an impartial country—let's say, Peru—they'd like our movies better. That'd knock England off her high horse."

Josh Feldman, an insurance claims adjuster in Union City, CA, said England assumes America is stupid.

"We have playwrights here doing some really advanced work," Feldman said. "Tony Kushner is giving it his all and writing what I hear are some very good plays. Not that England would ever notice."

Despite the two countries' decades of close political and economic alliances, many Americans said their counterparts in England should learn to appreciate what we do.

"We've cured lotsa diseases and invented a bunch of vital technologies," said Eric Pucci of Gruene, TX. "And I hate to bring this up, because they'll just call me a warmongering meathead or something, but we're breaking our backs to bring democracy to the whole damn world. England fights side-by-side with us, and yet they still treat us like they're deigning to form an alliance with us. Ask the rest of the world; you'll find a whole lot of nations who would want to be our friends. No, not everyone. But a lot of countries."

Alex Soellner, a Newport Beach, CA computer consultant, described his mood as one "more of resignation than exasperation."

"We tried so hard to catch your eye with our advances in Internet development, our soccer team, and our modern dance," Soellner said. "But you guys just keep acting like we're not a civilized country because we drink coffee instead of tea and our cops carry guns. That really stings."

Added Soellner: "Just because we don't have a cool accent, it doesn't mean we don't have any culture."

Many Americans expressed great relief at the declaration, saying it freed them from their personal struggles to defend America's legitimacy.

"I can focus on doing my own thing now, and I can finally stop worrying about whether or not the British are going to like my work," said Gary Sherwin, a post- doctoral bioinformatics researcher at Stanford. "From now on, I'm working for me and my colleagues, and if England doesn't like it, it's their loss. Of course, it'd be nice if, when they see what I'm doing, they're impressed, but I'm not holding my breath anymore."

Whiney f.ucking yanks, they want to be noticed by the English for what, an automobile that runs on REAL gas.

Well done Yanks, jolly good show.

I was in Paris a few years back with my girlfriend, and we were crossing the road, and we're surrounded by resturants. Take your pick basically.

Behind us was a family of Yanks, we all know what the Yanks are like, they loved to heard and get that great big American acsent out for to hear.

Pappa Yankey says: WHAT SHALL WE HAVE FOR DINNER HONEY ?

Mom-a Yank says: I DONT KNOW, EVERYTHING IS IN FRENCH I CANNOT READ IT, THE ONLY THING I CAN MAKE OUT IS PIZZA !!!!!

Pappa Yank: I GUESS WE'LL GO THERE THEN.

Me and my girlfriend look at eachother embarrised for these people. Americans are notest ..... As loud and stupid.

You're not fooling anyone, Bamaga--you're jealous of the Yanks!

And, FFS, you live in Australia--the world's most notorious obnoxious tourists (sorry Laza)!

I have met loads of Australian's (well about 20 or so)and they have all been great, sociable, friendly and generous in both word and deed.

I have met loads of Americans, been to the USA on numerous occasions as well as tourists over here, and apart from the language problem (they can't understand northern English) I found them generally arrogant and loud, with little sense of humour, and very insecure. If they haven't got bigger , better, and more expensive they seem to think its a sign of failure.

Again generally speaking an Aussie will call you a c*nt and buy you a pint, a Yank will say "have a nice day" as he is mugging you   

[dawson99]

Bet they say the same about us. Englands great, has some nice cities like london and liverpool, then it has some backward small town ones: leeds, manchester

[JoeTerp]

forgot to say that the article came from the onion a fake news paper. We sure do love our fake news in america (daily show, Colbert Report) it seemed pretty funny to me when I read it, and I certianly related to it.

[Big Niall]

Don't forget fox news.

[LFC2007]

forgot to say that the article came from the onion a fake news paper. We sure do love our fake news in america (daily show, Colbert Report) it seemed pretty funny to me when I read it, and I certianly related to it.

I've seen these shows, unfortunately, they're shit.

[dawson99]

tonight show with jon stewart tho is absolutely genius

[JoeTerp]

the onion is a lot less political, like Jon Stewart's early days

[dawson99]

the onion is a lot less political, like Jon Stewart's early days

got to say tho, i didnt much rate mccain, but he was on stearts show a fair few times and came across really well, made him seem more human.

I dont think obama or clinton had the balls to go on the show and be possibly ridiculed

[JoeTerp]

this one is from 1997

[JoeTerp]

the onion is a lot less political, like Jon Stewart's early days

got to say tho, i didnt much rate mccain, but he was on stearts show a fair few times and came across really well, made him seem more human.

I dont think obama or clinton had the balls to go on the show and be possibly ridiculed

Obama on Daily Show

[dawson99]

oops, musta missed that one lol

[66-1112520797]

Good a place as any for this one: 


U.S. Gives Up Trying To Impress England

May 26, 2004 | Issue 40•21

CHICAGO—Americans across the nation declared Tuesday that, after 230 years of trying to prove to England that the U.S. is a worthwhile and relevant country deserving of the European nation's respect, they are officially giving up.

"When America was only a couple of decades old, and England had been around for centuries, it was understandable that they looked down on us," said Rosie Hendricks, a mother of two from Arlington Heights. "But now, we've both been around for centuries. We're both international leaders. It's way past time England started treating us a little better."

"Yes, their royal family is cool, and yes, they have The Beatles and Shakespeare, but—well, they don't have to act so high and mighty," Hendricks said. "Every time they talk, it's like they think they're better than us. Do they think we don't notice that look on their faces?"

According to surveys, Americans are not looking for special treatment from the British, only a little bit of acknowledgement once in a while.

"All we want is one little nod of affirmation, a pat on the back, a 'good job' for some of the things we've done as a country," said Matthew Prousalis, a customer-service agent for AT&T Wireless in Peoria. "Really, all it would take is a quick 'Thanks for inventing the first successful gas-powered automobile. Keep it up.' That's it. But no, nothing."

"I've admired the British ever since I saw them on PBS as a kid," Prousalis added, blushing slightly. "Do they have any idea how bad they make us feel when they disregard us like this?"

Nicole Arndt, a computer-system sales representative from Chicago, said she was frustrated by England's dismissal of American entertainment.

"The British are always acting like we're so base," Arndt said. "Well, maybe we do go in for violence and sex a bit more than some other countries, but all around the world there are people who really love our movies and music. Just because we do things a little differently, that doesn't mean it's wrong."

Added Arndt: "In fact, I'd be willing to wager that, if we chose our five best movies from the past year and Great Britain chose theirs, and we asked an impartial country—let's say, Peru—they'd like our movies better. That'd knock England off her high horse."

Josh Feldman, an insurance claims adjuster in Union City, CA, said England assumes America is stupid.

"We have playwrights here doing some really advanced work," Feldman said. "Tony Kushner is giving it his all and writing what I hear are some very good plays. Not that England would ever notice."

Despite the two countries' decades of close political and economic alliances, many Americans said their counterparts in England should learn to appreciate what we do.

"We've cured lotsa diseases and invented a bunch of vital technologies," said Eric Pucci of Gruene, TX. "And I hate to bring this up, because they'll just call me a warmongering meathead or something, but we're breaking our backs to bring democracy to the whole damn world. England fights side-by-side with us, and yet they still treat us like they're deigning to form an alliance with us. Ask the rest of the world; you'll find a whole lot of nations who would want to be our friends. No, not everyone. But a lot of countries."

Alex Soellner, a Newport Beach, CA computer consultant, described his mood as one "more of resignation than exasperation."

"We tried so hard to catch your eye with our advances in Internet development, our soccer team, and our modern dance," Soellner said. "But you guys just keep acting like we're not a civilized country because we drink coffee instead of tea and our cops carry guns. That really stings."

Added Soellner: "Just because we don't have a cool accent, it doesn't mean we don't have any culture."

Many Americans expressed great relief at the declaration, saying it freed them from their personal struggles to defend America's legitimacy.

"I can focus on doing my own thing now, and I can finally stop worrying about whether or not the British are going to like my work," said Gary Sherwin, a post- doctoral bioinformatics researcher at Stanford. "From now on, I'm working for me and my colleagues, and if England doesn't like it, it's their loss. Of course, it'd be nice if, when they see what I'm doing, they're impressed, but I'm not holding my breath anymore."

Whiney f.ucking yanks, they want to be noticed by the English for what, an automobile that runs on REAL gas.

Well done Yanks, jolly good show.

I was in Paris a few years back with my girlfriend, and we were crossing the road, and we're surrounded by resturants. Take your pick basically.

Behind us was a family of Yanks, we all know what the Yanks are like, they loved to heard and get that great big American acsent out for to hear.

Pappa Yankey says: WHAT SHALL WE HAVE FOR DINNER HONEY ?

Mom-a Yank says: I DONT KNOW, EVERYTHING IS IN FRENCH I CANNOT READ IT, THE ONLY THING I CAN MAKE OUT IS PIZZA !!!!!

Pappa Yank: I GUESS WE'LL GO THERE THEN.

Me and my girlfriend look at eachother embarrised for these people. Americans are notest ..... As loud and stupid.

You're not fooling anyone, Bamaga--you're jealous of the Yanks!

And, FFS, you live in Australia--the world's most notorious obnoxious tourists (sorry Laza)!

Jealous of the Yanks, do me a favour. Being English I have no need to be jealous of any other nation, you on the other hand maybe considering your Canadian and are percieved as living in their shadow, but not the English far from it. 

As for arrogant tourists, glass houses and all that Bob.

[PhiLFC]

choice

a young black geezer
an old white geezer
a white woman geezer

They're all stinking rich

That's the choices it may be a bit simplistic but all politicians are the same inside - they want power, so which person attracts you most?  In the UK we've had young geezers, old geezers and a woman geezer - they all pretty much proved themselves to be c.unts... the biggest one being the woman geezer.

I like the idea of the black geezer winning but I fear the old white geezer will win.

[mistyred]

choice

a young black geezer
an old white geezer
a white woman geezer

They're all stinking rich

That's the choices it may be a bit simplistic but all politicians are the same inside - they want power, so which person attracts you most?  In the UK we've had young geezers, old geezers and a woman geezer - they all pretty much proved themselves to be c.unts... the biggest one being the woman geezer.

I like the idea of the black geezer winning but I fear the old white geezer will win.

You love the word Geezer do you come from East London  But everything you said makes sense