Liverpool FC Forum

[shanks72]

Car drivers who splash you on rainy days - most infuriating

Jennifer Rush' single The Power of love -- sorry this is just something I have to do!

Spiders --- well the big ones anyway, and it would be a relief!

The Canadian seal culling policy ---  it's very cruel!

People who go foxhunting --- I'd like to see them made to run for their lives!

[stmichael]

Clive Tyldsely

Had to laugh (well spew anger at the telly) when Tydsley said that last night 'the best teams don't always win in Europe but that won't be the case this year' sly f#cking dig or what??? Someone please tell the knob that we've won more of old big ears than those 2 European giants combined. 

[The Ace1983]

Clive Tyldsely

Had to laugh (well spew anger at the telly) when Tydsley said that last night 'the best teams don't always win in Europe but that won't be the case this year' sly f#cking dig or what??? Someone please tell the knob that we've won more of old big ears than those 2 European giants combined. 

Add that Tw@t Pleat to the list too. Talks sh!te, utter, utter sh!te.

[stmichael]

Clive Tyldsely

Had to laugh (well spew anger at the telly) when Tydsley said that last night 'the best teams don't always win in Europe but that won't be the case this year' sly f#cking dig or what??? Someone please tell the knob that we've won more of old big ears than those 2 European giants combined. 

Add that Tw@t Pleat to the list too. Talks sh!te, utter, utter sh!te.

Yeah the senile kerb crawling old tw@t.

[Judge]

Clive Tyldsely

Had to laugh (well spew anger at the telly) when Tydsley said that last night 'the best teams don't always win in Europe but that won't be the case this year' sly f#cking dig or what??? Someone please tell the knob that we've won more of old big ears than those 2 European giants combined. 

Add that Tw@t Pleat to the list too. Talks sh!te, utter, utter sh!te.

Yeah the senile kerb crawling old tw@t.

woollyback is none of those things 

[stmichael]

it took clive the manc 1 minute 11 seconds to mention manure 1999,suprised it took that long.

when Chelsea visited the Nou Camp earlier this season. His opening address was:

"Well David, I was sat just three seats away from here on a certain night in 1999."

[Lando_Griffin]

2. Flies.

Everything about the little b*stards annoys me. They plague you while you're outside, they follow you into your house, they vomit all over you food, then they keep you awake at night by flying about trying to get back to their dog turd.

Why, when we can go to the moon, split the atom, and boil an egg, can we not rid the planet of the common fly? SHoot the feckers. Build a bomb to destroy ALL of the little c*nts. Any method suits me.

I know about the eco-system, the food chains, and the knock-on effect to the nice little dicky-birds in our gardens.
But I just don't care.
All Robbie the Robin does is sh*t on my car and go "cheep". I think I could live without either.

If it were up to me, ALL flying insects would be consigned to the history books. The dirty winged spawn of Satan.

      To bloody right Lando 

if we killed the fly, then i fear all civilisation will collapse.

Anyway, i hear they dont prefer your turds very much lando ole bean, as the smell makes the little fuckers vomit more.
In short, kill lando, kill the fly problem 

Surely that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!?!

You are suggesting that flies hate my poo, and it makes them vomit even more.

Well my suggestion is this:

I'll send each of you a steaming turd in some clingfilm, and you can spread it around the perimeter of your homes.

Let your neighbours entertain the disgusting little b*stards instead.

[Judge]

pmsl @ lando's comments

clingfilm !!

[dawson99]

1: people who see u coming in from the rain, all wet, and say: is it raining?
yes, it focking is raining, and yes im wet, the jokes not funny anymore

2: that bit of kebab that always falls on the floor. You're drunk, you want that bit of kebab, you need that bit of kebab, but now its covered in hair, and you'll probably tread on it again in the morning.

3: fat people who tell me the smoke annoys them in restaurants. i dont tell them there fatness annoys me while im trying to eat. Try eating a carrot you fat fokk

4: the wet patch. im NOT sleeping in it, its icky

5: people who say they are leaving the pub, and are still there 20 mins later. if u r gonna go, just go, dont hang around waiting for me to ask u to stay, i trust or judgement

[kazza 1]

Right. I doubt I can limit it to 5, but I'll try!!!! (Infact - I'll generalise!!!!!)

1. Absolutely, undoubtably and quite certainly, the number 1, all-time, GOLD MEDAL WINNING annoyance in my life is the SLOW DRIVER!!!!!

Because I work at the weekends, I ALWAYS encounter some doddering old f*ckwit who believes that 30mph is FAR too f*cking swift for his T4 Volvo to cope with safely, and as a result I end up p*ssing about at 27mph on 60mph country lanes for anything up to an hour. You COULD overtake, if the stupid old cockroach didn't keep swerving everytime you tried. You COULD overtake if there was a stretch of road straighter than a f*cking corkscrew.

But no. The silly old b*stard will continue his scenic bloody escapade, totally oblivious to your rising blood-pressure, until he spots a chuffing Little Chef, and his wife says "Oh Henry - I need the loo."

Whenever these bloody road-hogs have naffed off, you get exactly 317 yards before a young mum in a f*cking Vauxhall Corsa with a "Baby on Board" sign in the back window pulls out of a side-road and then proceeds at a speed 1 unit greater than her IQ. Yes - you will be positively "nipping along" at 12mph, because the vaccum-headed bimbo is too bleeding busy applying her make-up with a trowel to concentrate on the road.
I swear, I have seen these bints actually steering with their left knee so they can hold the mirror steady whilst they slap the lipstick on. Utter madness!

THEN, you finally pluck up the courage to overtake the uncontrolled baby-vessel, only to be confronted by the sight that drivers all-over Britain truely dread.

A b*stard tractor.
Already 30 minutes late, you think "well, I'll be round him in 2 seconds cos he's only doing 3mph." - WRONG!

In normal circumstances, you wouldn't even have to wait behind it - you'd just go around it without ever hitting the brake. But no - because you're in a rush, and so Satan himself is redirecting all of Planet Earth's traffic into the oncoming lane.
The thing is, all of these people can see that they are holding you up. All of these people know that there is a lay-by every 5-or-so miles.
They COULD let us past, but they don't. They just don't.

Well. I have a message to these people, from the bottom of my petrol tank:

JUST GO AND KILL YOURSELVES, YOU INCONSIDERATE AR*EHOLES!!!!!

I have to agree with you there Lando. I drive a taxi 5 days a week and get stuck behind these people at least 10 to 15 times a day!!!

I hate the dreaded SCHOOL RUN. Why do people insist on taking their kids to school in the car and they only live around the corner!!!! And they all drive Range Rovers!!! They arrive at the school and park in the middle of the road to let their little angels out. Never mind me stuck behind them, the desk clerk screaming down the radio and late for a pick up!!!! Then they see a mate who they have'nt seen in a while and decide to have a chat!!!! Heeelllllooooo, Im still behind you!!!! And when you ask them to move they look at you as if you have two heads!!!! Get a life here!! Its summer time. Get out of your bed a bit earlier and walk........

I also hate sitting at the lights behind some cloth capped granda and his purple haired mrs and the lights turn green and they sit there!!! When you beep the horn at them to move they still sit on, only to move when the light turns red!!! And your stuck there till they turn again!!! WHY? ?? My God GREEN means go, ffs!!!!!!!!

Roundabouts!!!! Have they done away this part of the driving theroy??? Do they not teach you what lane to be in for certin exits??? At our local Tesco's you have to go around one to get into it. It has 3 exits and two lanes approching it. The inside lane for going to the petrol station ( the 1st exit) and the other for going to tesco's or right around it. But we get people who think they are different from us normal drivers and go into the roundabout whatever why they want to!!!!! Its not the 1st time some kn0b has cut across me to get into tescos!! And its not the 1st time I have nearly come to blows with these dickheads!!!! And it won't be the last time either

Little boy/girls racers, who sit at the lights beside you and reave their engines, with their stereo blasting (thump, thump thump). They look across at you smiling and eyeing your car up and down!!!!! Why?? I know you wanna race me, but my car would probably eat and shit your cr@ppy corsa and anyway I like my car the way it is. Not wrapped around a lampost farther down the road!!!! And I think my mummy and daddy would miss me

[neil]

1 gypos
2 people who burp loud in your face(why I oughtta.... )
3 those who try to get served before you at the bar knowing full well you were there 1st
4 london types
5 co commentators who plainly dislike the team they are supposed to be impartial on(thats you trevor francis)

[dawson99]

london types???

[neil]

aye lad, nowt but trouble

[The Ace1983]

What exactly defines a "London Type"?

[dawson99]

i think he means an 'old mucker cockney type' thats not a true londoner