Liverpool FC Forum

[82-1074641017]

Oh I forgot to mention Mancs, can I have 6 please?

[taff]

Tins of corned beef, how the feck do you open one without cutting yourself

the guy in my street who puts cones outside his house stopping others parking there. Use your garage you knob

people who dont stir tea properly. Why bother putting sugar in then

When your in a queue, poeple who try and get ahead of you and especially the ones who tutt a lot as if their lives are extremely more important than yours.

Birds who think you should know whats wrong

It will probably be different tomorrow

[RUSHIE#9]

the guy in my street who puts cones outside his house stopping others parking there. Use your garage you knob

Is he any relation to old MA BOSWELL from the BREAD tv series??
 
She used to do that for all of their cars.

[taff]

the guy in my street who puts cones outside his house stopping others parking there. Use your garage you knob

Is he any relation to old MA BOSWELL from the BREAD tv series??
 
She used to do that for all of their cars.

If only he were that comical

I put them on the pavement to wind him up sometimes.    He double parks a lot as well and huffs if you want to use your car and he has to move

[The Ace1983]

Birds who think you should know whats wrong

Sounds a bit dodgy mate. Have you been doing something "wrong"? 

[82-1074641017]

Im surprised no one have ever mentioned:

WORK SHITHOUSES

When you walk in they always look like something out of the Film Midnight Express.  They always have a foul Shitty smell and they always have a specimen near the bottom of the pan of what someone had for dinner last sunday    

[taff]

Birds who think you should know whats wrong

Sounds a bit dodgy mate. Have you been doing something "wrong"? 

Apparently getting born was enough 

[taff]

Im surprised no one have ever mentioned:

WORK SHITHOUSES

When you walk in they always look like something out of the Film Midnight Express.  They always have a foul Shitty smell and they always have a specimen near the bottom of the pan of what someone had for dinner last sunday    

Where do you work you scruffy meff 

[Lando_Griffin]

Right. I doubt I can limit it to 5, but I'll try!!!! (Infact - I'll generalise!!!!!)

1. Absolutely, undoubtably and quite certainly, the number 1, all-time, GOLD MEDAL WINNING annoyance in my life is the SLOW DRIVER!!!!!

Because I work at the weekends, I ALWAYS encounter some doddering old f*ckwit who believes that 30mph is FAR too f*cking swift for his T4 Volvo to cope with safely, and as a result I end up p*ssing about at 27mph on 60mph country lanes for anything up to an hour. You COULD overtake, if the stupid old cockroach didn't keep swerving everytime you tried. You COULD overtake if there was a stretch of road straighter than a f*cking corkscrew.

But no. The silly old b*stard will continue his scenic bloody escapade, totally oblivious to your rising blood-pressure, until he spots a chuffing Little Chef, and his wife says "Oh Henry - I need the loo."

Whenever these bloody road-hogs have naffed off, you get exactly 317 yards before a young mum in a f*cking Vauxhall Corsa with a "Baby on Board" sign in the back window pulls out of a side-road and then proceeds at a speed 1 unit greater than her IQ. Yes - you will be positively "nipping along" at 12mph, because the vaccum-headed bimbo is too bleeding busy applying her make-up with a trowel to concentrate on the road.
I swear, I have seen these bints actually steering with their left knee so they can hold the mirror steady whilst they slap the lipstick on. Utter madness!

THEN, you finally pluck up the courage to overtake the uncontrolled baby-vessel, only to be confronted by the sight that drivers all-over Britain truely dread.

A b*stard tractor.
Already 30 minutes late, you think "well, I'll be round him in 2 seconds cos he's only doing 3mph." - WRONG!

In normal circumstances, you wouldn't even have to wait behind it - you'd just go around it without ever hitting the brake. But no - because you're in a rush, and so Satan himself is redirecting all of Planet Earth's traffic into the oncoming lane.
The thing is, all of these people can see that they are holding you up. All of these people know that there is a lay-by every 5-or-so miles.
They COULD let us past, but they don't. They just don't.

Well. I have a message to these people, from the bottom of my petrol tank:

JUST GO AND KILL YOURSELVES, YOU INCONSIDERATE AR*EHOLES!!!!!

Moving on...

2. Flies.

Everything about the little b*stards annoys me. They plague you while you're outside, they follow you into your house, they vomit all over you food, then they keep you awake at night by flying about trying to get back to their dog turd.

Why, when we can go to the moon, split the atom, and boil an egg, can we not rid the planet of the common fly? SHoot the feckers. Build a bomb to destroy ALL of the little c*nts. Any method suits me.

I know about the eco-system, the food chains, and the knock-on effect to the nice little dicky-birds in our gardens.
But I just don't care.
All Robbie the Robin does is sh*t on my car and go "cheep". I think I could live without either.

If it were up to me, ALL flying insects would be consigned to the history books. The dirty winged spawn of Satan.




3. Arrogance.

People such as Moris, Fat Frank and Robbie Williams would all be shot through the head if I were to be granted this wish.

Imagine, though - being able to take a gun to the smug b*stard who condescends to you after getting that promotion you were after as a direct result of copying your work.

The world can do without these c*ckheads.

4. Ignorance.

I absolutely HATE it when someone starts an arguement with me, then goes into "I am a child and need to be throttled" mode. They sit there pretending they cannot hear you.
When you raise your voice, they start humming or whistling some God-awful tune.

Well I have the perfect answer for dealing with these dull-witted termagants (for they are ALWAYS women!).

Shoot them in the foot. I guarantee they won't ignore you anymore.

5. Rain.

I know this is an odd pet-hate, but I absolutely DETEST rain in the evenings when I could be playing tennis.
It did it today - p*ssed it down until the very MINUTE I would normally come back home.

Then the Sun came out.

B*stard.

[The Ace1983]

Somehow Lando, I knew you'd be good at this.

And you're allowed a sixth one because I've got a No.6. Jeeremy Kyle. Tw@t. What I'd give for five minutes alone with him, a pair of needle pliers, a toasting fork, a box of matches and 6 live hedgehogs. He's such a gimp.

[Ciggy]

2. Flies.

Everything about the little b*stards annoys me. They plague you while you're outside, they follow you into your house, they vomit all over you food, then they keep you awake at night by flying about trying to get back to their dog turd.

Why, when we can go to the moon, split the atom, and boil an egg, can we not rid the planet of the common fly? SHoot the feckers. Build a bomb to destroy ALL of the little c*nts. Any method suits me.

I know about the eco-system, the food chains, and the knock-on effect to the nice little dicky-birds in our gardens.
But I just don't care.
All Robbie the Robin does is sh*t on my car and go "cheep". I think I could live without either.

If it were up to me, ALL flying insects would be consigned to the history books. The dirty winged spawn of Satan.

      To bloody right Lando 

[2520years]

1.Blueshit fans

2.Liars

3.Fat Birds

4.Baldness

5.Ginger People

You're so PC Roberts!

Anyone else..?
1) Ugly women who stand in the way when you're trying to look down the tops of fit birds?  (How inconsiderate is that?!)
2) People who've got debilitating medical conditions you haven't got?
3) Old people who can't do things as quickly as you can because their bones might break (causing more of a hold up!)?
4) Anyone with a skin condition who sits near you while you're trying to eat?
5) etc.

Sorry, you touched a nerve because I'm a fat female Evertonian, who's bald with ginger hair...and the punchline is...













...I'm also a liar.

[2520years]

As for my five pet hates for Room 101:

1) people dropping litter (no respect at all)

2) parents who swear at their kids (yeah, go for it, show that three-year-old who's boss, you dummy!)

3) people at the Trafford Centre who strut around with their designer gear as if to say "aren't I great" on but never give a thought to others (ever wondered why your money doesn't bring you happiness?)

4) ManUre and Chelski (between them, they've done more to ruin the English game than anyone else)

5) people getting furiously angry about things that don't matter (including football!)

[Judge]

2. Flies.

Everything about the little b*stards annoys me. They plague you while you're outside, they follow you into your house, they vomit all over you food, then they keep you awake at night by flying about trying to get back to their dog turd.

Why, when we can go to the moon, split the atom, and boil an egg, can we not rid the planet of the common fly? SHoot the feckers. Build a bomb to destroy ALL of the little c*nts. Any method suits me.

I know about the eco-system, the food chains, and the knock-on effect to the nice little dicky-birds in our gardens.
But I just don't care.
All Robbie the Robin does is sh*t on my car and go "cheep". I think I could live without either.

If it were up to me, ALL flying insects would be consigned to the history books. The dirty winged spawn of Satan.

      To bloody right Lando 

if we killed the fly, then i fear all civilisation will collapse.

Anyway, i hear they dont prefer your turds very much lando ole bean, as the smell makes the little fuckers vomit more.
In short, kill lando, kill the fly problem 

[The Ace1983]

Killing flies is a good idea. Without flies, all the spiders would die and I hate spiders. Nasty little alien creatures.