Liverpool FC Forum

[stmichael]

good afternoon all, and what a beautiful afternoon it is too!

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Good day to defy convention. Be yourself. Buy a fedora, for example, and wear it indoors.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You will go to a Chinese restaurant and decide to try something new. Don't do it! It's not as good as your favorite.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You'll feel a little tired and run down, today. Just a hunch, but that could explain those tire tracks on your shirt, as well...


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

A good day to start getting your affairs in order. You shouldn't be having affairs anyway, so the least you can do is tidy them up.


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Have you ever considered adopting a new life as a "mountain-person"? Living in the vast mountains and forests of Alaska, hewing an existence from the unforgiving wild Nature of our ancestors? Nope, me neither.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

An older friend will avoid you today. Have you considered using any of the vast number of breath-freshening products that are available, these days?


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Bad day to feed the Bengal tiger. Let someone else do it, today. Probably just an "off" batch of the Purina Tiger Chow, but why risk it?


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Good day to ponder the parable of the itsy bitsy spider, and the futility of climbing up water spouts during spring weather. You'll be able to apply this lesson to one of your current relationships.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Good day to sleep in. A nap would work well today, too. Try to get to bed early. Aside from that, nothing too exciting today.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Good time to compliment your friends. If you can't think of anything else to say, tell them they're looking "very buff." That will leave them pleased, but slightly uneasy, and they'll spend a lot of time looking in the mirror.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Good time to invest some time in self-improvement. Or if that seems too hard, you can always improve someone else. Oh sure, they may gripe about it at first, but they'll thank you later.


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

A romantic episode will take you by surprise. Tip: the important thing to remember when dealing with circus performers, is not to suggest having a "fling."

   

[stmichael]

afternoon all.

it's a brand new week, a season defining week for lfc. mystic mick is here to help get your week off to the best possible start.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Today you'll become incensed at the thought that you missed out on all the fun during the 60's and 70's, and will change your name to "Sunflower" in protest.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Flour tortilla day, today. You know what I mean.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You may lose sight of what is truly important to you, if you're not careful. In other words, it not whether you win or lose, it's whether you end up with your leg in a cast for 3 months.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Your relationship is reaching the point where you may as well discuss the Big Question - there's no point in going further if you don't see eye to eye on that. By Big Question I'm referring to "crunchy" versus "creamy", of course. Why, what did you think I meant?


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Today an ecologically-minded organic foods co-op will move into your home, while you're away. You'll be smelling whole-wheat fig bars for months, even if you succeed in extricating them. (Which is unlikely, in today's political climate. They need somewhere to hide. Have a heart.)


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey nonny, nonny", in Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was simply in-field chatter that somehow made it into the play, and that Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Today you will make new friends, one of whom will eventually borrow a large sum of money from you, prior to skipping town. Try to avoid fatty foods.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will make pizza from scratch today (dough and everything), and will beam with pride. As well you should.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Today you will take comfort in the thought that Jesus loves you, particularly since nobody else likes you very much.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Remember that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Normally that's not a big deal, but since your accounting department just changed its name to "The Mongol Horde", you might take notice.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Your slogan for the week should be "Carpe Dium", or "Sieze the Day!." Once you sieze it, give it a good shake, just to prove you mean business.


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Time to do something about that high blood pressure. Have you tried leeches?

[stmichael]

time for today's stars people, on what is liverpool's biggest european night in over two years. let's hope your destiny is a good omen for the team tonight.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You've been complaining too much, lately. You might find more to enjoy in your life by watching a documentary about a lot of people starving to death in miserable third-world slums. I know that always cheers me right up!


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

This week, you'll discover a trick to make those meetings seem more interesting. Imagine that everyone else has a ferret clinging to their head.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Today you will go into the prosthetic forehead business, having heard that everyone wants a prosthetic forehead to wear on their real forehead. It would be a good idea to do your own market research, in this case, before sinking all your savings in this venture.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Excellent day to be boisterous. Avoid obstreperousness, however.


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Someone named Tyrone is about to sell you a vaccuum cleaner. There's nothing much you can do about it, I'm afraid.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Good time to wear WAY too much cologne. Well actually, that's generally not a problem for people who wear cologne. Usually, they have no sense of smell. (Oh come on - you think they'd do that on purpose??)


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to correct the situation.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

It will turn out that someone you spend a great deal of time with is actually one of the last remaining Sinanthropus (Peking man), rather than an actual Cro-Magnon. This will explain things you'd been wondering about.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You are being watched by a large penguin. Act normal.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Good time to be happy-go-lucky! You'll find that works out a lot better than the sad-go-accident-prone you've been trying.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Today you will begin a new hobby: collecting spores, molds, and fungus. You will find it richly rewarding, in a spiritual sense.


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Beware of galoots, today.

   

[Judge]

i was boisterous today

your stars are pretty accurate mate

[stmichael]

i was boisterous today

your stars are pretty accurate mate

i know

[Judge]

justin 'stmike' toper

or

russell 'stmike' grant

[stmichael]

afternoon

it's gonna be a good day for all concerned today, especially after last nights performance. 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare, and just before you fall asleep, you will think: "A duck, by any other name, would smell as foul." Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate icecream. The results can be a trifle unpredictable.


Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Due to a bump on the head today, you will lose all memory of what you did with your keys. Or at least, that always makes a dandy excuse.


Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Today you will be struck by the notion that "Life is like one of those little cars that the Shriners get to drive." You have a mind of great depth and profundity.


Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Something is about to become overly intimate with you. Intimacy can be good. Just not with fungus.


Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Good day to wear overalls and discuss bean farming with retired people at a diner or family-style restaurant. Or at least, that's a lot more fun than what you'd be doing otherwise.


Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You will be visited by creatures named Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, Azathoth, Shub-Niggurath, Yog-Sothoth, Ithaqua, Tsathoggua, Dagon, and Bert. You will discover that all of them have atrocious table manners.


Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Today you will discover that you have no real friends. Or at least, that they don't cast a shadow.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Today you will lose all self-control. You'll find it again tomorrow, though -- it just rolled under the couch.


Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Beware of celery.


Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

You will combine a therapeutic technique based on rapid eye movement with yoga postures, creating something that looks so silly, passers by will actually fall over laughing.


Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

You will lurk, today. There's nothing that wrong with lurking, after all, and it's occasionally somewhat refreshing. In fact, you'll soon begin work on How To Lurk, a best-selling self-help book on the topic.


Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself. Give it a good thrashing, and say "bad bush!" in a loud stern tone.

   

[hawkmoon269]

Mystic Mick...O great teller of fortunes.
Do you do private readings?

[hawkmoon269]

Mick, did you "Find out your secret superhero identity of the day"

Mines:

Name: Demon Panther
Secret Identity: Hawk Moon
Special Power: Blazing Finger
Transportation: Electric Chopper
Weapon: X-Ray Gun
Costume: Stainless Steel Robe
Sidekick: Jumpin' Jim
Nemesis: Marvin the Unspeakable
Tragic Flaw: Fear of flying
Favorite Food: Cheez Whiz

[stmichael]

Mystic Mick...O great teller of fortunes.
Do you do private readings?

sorry hawkmoon. wednesday's my day off. i'm only working at all out of the goodness of my heart

 

[Judge]

havent you heard of half day closing on wednesdays

hey mick i'm not sure about that fungus??

[hawkmoon269]

Mystic Mick...O great teller of fortunes.
Do you do private readings?

sorry hawkmoon. wednesday's my day off. i'm only working at all out of the goodness of my heart

 

That's whats wrong with the world today - not commitment.
In my day it was all different, up at 4:30am , get to work, work 12 hours and then home.

Youth of today!

[stmichael]

In my day it was all different, up at 4:30am , get to work, work 12 hours and then home.

yeah right

[hawkmoon269]

In my day it was all different, up at 4:30am , get to work, work 12 hours and then home.

yeah right

Are you doubting my hard working attitude, my dedication to the advancement of our economy, my work ethic, and my sincerity in the improvement of myself and my fellow man, my collection of George Formby's greatest hits, and not to mention my desire to see Liverpool FC play Manchester United PLC in the final of the European Champions League in the Atatürk Olympic stadium in Istanbul, on 25 May, with Harry Kewell scoring a hat-trick to win 6-0?

You doubter.....

[stmichael]

In my day it was all different, up at 4:30am , get to work, work 12 hours and then home.

yeah right

Are you doubting my hard working attitude, my dedication to the advancement of our economy, my work ethic, and my sincerity in the improvement of myself and my fellow man, my collection of George Formby's greatest hits, and not to mention my desire to see Liverpool FC play Manchester United PLC in the final of the European Champions League in the Atatürk Olympic stadium in Istanbul, on 25 May, with Harry Kewell scoring a hat-trick to win 6-0?

You doubter.....

that paragraph there started off as complete tosh but started making more and more sense as it went on.