Liverpool FC Forum

[82-1074641017]

You should have carried on with the lass and just let your mate relieve in the toilets there

He wont sh.it in the Revolution coz the aftershave floggers will see him(

aftershave floggers??              wtf 

We get them in the toilets all the time in Liverpool, these men trying to spray you with jarg Melvin Blein £3 aftershave then having the cheek to ask  you for money.

'FRESHIN UP BRUVA' they have the audacity to say!

[Judge]

its bad when you need a dump. watch out for the turtles head  

[jonnymac1979]

Which Revolution and what night was this?

Sunday was it?

I was in the Temple Court one off Mathew Street on Friday, really fucking drunk and I knocked a full bottle of lager over which I'd had about two swigs out of.  Done my head in.  Was a bit dead in there though on Friday to be honest.

As for your mate, if I would have been with a tidy blonde lass, it would have been goodnight from me as far as my mates are concerned.  I wouldn't expect them to torpedo their chances of a bird just case I wanted to get off to some other place, and your mate shouldn't have expected you to.

Your not in school no more, taking some birds side over your mates' side.  You just want to get laid at the end of the night don't you?

And agreed, those aftershave floggers can be a pest in Town.  They can come in handy sometimes though I suppose, but you don't want to use them every time you go for a slash do you?  They look at you like you're doing them out of a wage if you don't take a spray off them and drop them a quid. 

Can't believe some poeple have never heard of them though.  They even have them in the Reggae Bar in Koh Samui in Thailand if you're reading Peewee.  Didn't use them though, couldn't tell if it was fake or not.

[82-1074641017]

Which Revolution and what night was this?

Sunday was it?

I was in the Temple Court one off Mathew Street on Friday, really fucking drunk and I knocked a full bottle of lager over which I'd had about two swigs out of.  Done my head in.  Was a bit dead in there though on Friday to be honest.

As for your mate, if I would have been with a tidy blonde lass, it would have been goodnight from me as far as my mates are concerned.  I wouldn't expect them to torpedo their chances of a bird just case I wanted to get off to some other place, and your mate shouldn't have expected you to.

Your not in school no more, taking some birds side over your mates' side.  You just want to get laid at the end of the night don't you?

And agreed, those aftershave floggers can be a pest in Town.  They can come in handy sometimes though I suppose, but you don't want to use them every time you go for a slash do you?  They look at you like you're doing them out of a wage if you don't take a spray off them and drop them a quid. 

Can't believe some poeple have never heard of them though.  They even have them in the Reggae Bar in Koh Samui in Thailand if you're reading Peewee.  Didn't use them though, couldn't tell if it was fake or not.

The one in Wood Street mate, its only £1 a pint in there on Mondays as well, looks totally different in there during the week.
The only problem is that they dont sell Cider, so after a few lagers I would probably have to go somewhere else anyway.
It was the Monday night I was there Jonny, its a shame you decided to go to Town a day early you could have got my autograph  
As for my mate I havent rang him since, I hope hes had the fucking Wildies ever since!  

[jonnymac1979]

Nah, I was only in town on Friday.  Went the boozer with the lads about 15:30pm and got home about 02:00am that night according to the drunken text messages I had sent on my phone, which I only discovered on Saturday morning.  I hate that.  Didn't go on Sunday, I was in that Tequila bar a couple of weeks ago though which is on Wood Street, the Bar Ca Va is it called?  That was alright in there.  This bird that I was with was drinking Absinthe though, she had two shots of it and was still on her feet.  I wont touch the stuff personally.  Never have, never will.

[Leonmc0708]

Last night I was having a good time in town, ended up getting into some blond bird in the Revolution, quite nice looking, decent body.
But one of my mates was being a proper kn*b, he had a cob on, despite he still had 2 of our mates to talk to. So theres me and her all over each other and he keeps on tapping me wanting a word.
He says,'We are going to have to go now lad'
I say,'Why?'
He says,'I need to go for a sh.it'
I say,'Well go for one here mate'
He says,'Im not going for one here its dirty'
I say,'Why didnt you have one before we went out?'
He says,'I didnt need one, come on lad im dying the head is p opping out'
I say,'Well wait for her and her mates to finish and we will go there'
He says,'I need to go now my hand is stopping it from coming out'
I say,'Just use them bogs lad! You pick your moments'
He says,'We need to go to lloyds lad, im not having a sh.it in here with them fellas in the bog watching me!'

We had to leave and then I had a cob on as well

What a Selfish Pr1ck shame he didnt sh.it himself

WHAT A C.UNT

Loser.

[82-1074641017]

Last night I was having a good time in town, ended up getting into some blond bird in the Revolution, quite nice looking, decent body.
But one of my mates was being a proper kn*b, he had a cob on, despite he still had 2 of our mates to talk to. So theres me and her all over each other and he keeps on tapping me wanting a word.
He says,'We are going to have to go now lad'
I say,'Why?'
He says,'I need to go for a sh.it'
I say,'Well go for one here mate'
He says,'Im not going for one here its dirty'
I say,'Why didnt you have one before we went out?'
He says,'I didnt need one, come on lad im dying the head is p opping out'
I say,'Well wait for her and her mates to finish and we will go there'
He says,'I need to go now my hand is stopping it from coming out'
I say,'Just use them bogs lad! You pick your moments'
He says,'We need to go to lloyds lad, im not having a sh.it in here with them fellas in the bog watching me!'

We had to leave and then I had a cob on as well

What a Selfish Pr1ck shame he didnt sh.it himself

WHAT A C.UNT

Loser.

Care to Explain Mr.McCowan?

And JonnyMac your right absinthe makes yer hair curl
Brandy is a viler drink though how thats so popular I do not know

[Judge]

Corporate Lesson 1:


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. 
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"


Moral of the story:  If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:


A priest offered a lift to a Nun.  She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg.  The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"


The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."


Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
might  miss a great opportunity.


Corporate Lesson 3:


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.  "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.


"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life." Poof!  He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."


Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Corporate Lesson 4:


A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very high up.


Corporate Lesson 5:


A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. 
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
of  the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there .
>
>
>
>------------------------------------
>
>
>
"Reality" is what we take to be true.  What we take to be true is what
we believe.  What we believe is based upon our perceptions.  What we
perceive depends upon what we look for.  What we look for depends upon what we
think.
What we think depends on what we perceive.  What we perceive
determines what we believe.  What we believe determines what we take to be true. 
What we take to be true is our reality.


-------------------------------

some lessons roberts, but none about turds

[82-1074641017]

So what your saying is Judge..Next time my mate goes for a sh1t............................................




































Charge him $800 dollars

[Judge]

err.........yes, if you like

[Leonmc0708]

Last night I was having a good time in town, ended up getting into some blond bird in the Revolution, quite nice looking, decent body.
But one of my mates was being a proper kn*b, he had a cob on, despite he still had 2 of our mates to talk to. So theres me and her all over each other and he keeps on tapping me wanting a word.
He says,'We are going to have to go now lad'
I say,'Why?'
He says,'I need to go for a sh.it'
I say,'Well go for one here mate'
He says,'Im not going for one here its dirty'
I say,'Why didnt you have one before we went out?'
He says,'I didnt need one, come on lad im dying the head is p opping out'
I say,'Well wait for her and her mates to finish and we will go there'
He says,'I need to go now my hand is stopping it from coming out'
I say,'Just use them bogs lad! You pick your moments'
He says,'We need to go to lloyds lad, im not having a sh.it in here with them fellas in the bog watching me!'

We had to leave and then I had a cob on as well

What a Selfish Pr1ck shame he didnt sh.it himself

WHAT A C.UNT

Loser.

Care to Explain Mr.McCowan?

And JonnyMac your right absinthe makes yer hair curl
Brandy is a viler drink though how thats so popular I do not know

You start a thread about the fact that you necked a bird in town and then left her cus your mate needed a shabite.

Conclusion, you never kissed a girl and made it all up.

[zarababe]

Leone's sussed this one out AGAIN..

[82-1074641017]

Last night I was having a good time in town, ended up getting into some blond bird in the Revolution, quite nice looking, decent body.
But one of my mates was being a proper kn*b, he had a cob on, despite he still had 2 of our mates to talk to. So theres me and her all over each other and he keeps on tapping me wanting a word.
He says,'We are going to have to go now lad'
I say,'Why?'
He says,'I need to go for a sh.it'
I say,'Well go for one here mate'
He says,'Im not going for one here its dirty'
I say,'Why didnt you have one before we went out?'
He says,'I didnt need one, come on lad im dying the head is p opping out'
I say,'Well wait for her and her mates to finish and we will go there'
He says,'I need to go now my hand is stopping it from coming out'
I say,'Just use them bogs lad! You pick your moments'
He says,'We need to go to lloyds lad, im not having a sh.it in here with them fellas in the bog watching me!'

We had to leave and then I had a cob on as well

What a Selfish Pr1ck shame he didnt sh.it himself

WHAT A C.UNT

Loser.

Care to Explain Mr.McCowan?

And JonnyMac your right absinthe makes yer hair curl
Brandy is a viler drink though how thats so popular I do not know

You start a thread about the fact that you necked a bird in town and then left her cus your mate needed a shabite.

Conclusion, you never kissed a girl and made it all up.

How did I make it up? Another pathetic response there LeonCluedoMac.
Fact:My mate needed a sh.it
Fact:Leon You Also talk a lot of sh.it

[82-1074641017]

Leone's sussed this one out AGAIN..

Leon cant even suss out how to wipe his own ar.se. I detect hes a closet virgin

[dawson99]

in all fairness roberts the entire thread is about how u had to choose between helping your mate do a poo and getting hold of a fit bird.

its almost as bad a thread as asking if wed beat blackpool. you cant expect people to have commended you for helping your mate wipe himself afterwoods instead of playnig with some fine boobies