Letter from the taxman - Serious sense of humour

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Postby Woollyback » Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:28 pm

Lando, here's something for you to get yer teeth into:

"Tax Free Day" - the Adam Smith Insitute (of fiscal studies) each year works out when "tax free day" will fall. This is the day of the year when you stop working for the taxman and start working for yourself. They establish Mr or Mrs Average, on average salary, of average age, spending average amounts on the average amount of goods and services etc etc, you get the picture. Anyway, they then work out how much tax that person pays on everything from income tax, to council tax, to VAT on purchases, stamp duty on houses, tax on interest on their savings etc etc

They then compare how much tax Mr average incurs with his total income and work out how much of that income goes (directly or indirectly) to the government and the results are shocking - this year you will have worked until May 27th to provide the government with money and for the rest of the year to provide yourself and your family with money

May the twenty bloody seventh!!! That's nearly 42% of your entire income being clawed back by the government!! And, this is the depressing bit, tax free day has been getting progressively later EVERY SINGLE YEAR since Blair came to power. Under the last tory government it was getting progressivly EARLIER each year.

Ridiculous is what it is  :angry:

OK Lando, let rip :D
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Postby LFC #1 » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:23 pm

Australia is not much better, they practically tax you for walking down the street ffs!  :angry:
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Postby Woollyback » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:37 pm

last week I FARTED and got a tax bill!!
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Postby Ciggy » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:39 pm

:laugh: Dont ya just love Landos rants  :laugh:
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Postby Lando_Griffin » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:39 pm

Right, this is beyond fooking japing now! It's that big-eared grinning ba*tard at number 10, and all his fricking penny-pinching fag hags. Old "Best Boy" Brown is taking the wazz. By the sounds of it, he's also taking us up the botty. Are you serious Wolly? Is this fact? Cos if it is, I'm going to personally walk into the houses of Parliament, drop my kegs, and have an almighty shat on Blairs head. Then, I'll grab the rest of the cu*ts at Labour, and p*ss in their hair. (Must make sure I drink a lot of water first!) Then I think the only fair way to seek justice would be to smear them in Kinnocks entrails, lock them in there with a hungry Lion (Blair with a fooking great steak attached to him), and then tell them they either immediately reimburse all money stolen in taxes, or risk the wrath of the Lion AND a randy Gorilla. Regardless of wether they repay the tax money, I'd still leave Blair and Bender Brown in there, and see how they like fighting something they can't beat. The fricking cowards. FU*K YOU AND ALL YOUR KIND BLAIR, YOU WORTHLESS FOOKING TRAITOR. GO AND LIVE ON A GYPSY CAMP YOU KNOBROT.:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
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Postby Ciggy » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:44 pm

:laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh: marry me Lando   :love:  :D
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Postby Lando_Griffin » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:46 pm

OK. Church or registrar!?! :p
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Postby Ciggy » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:52 pm

Lando_Griffin wrote:OK. Church or registrar!?! :p

Lets just f@ck off to the caribean and have a big p.iss up get married and argue a lot  :laugh:
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Postby Woollyback » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:54 pm

LANDO for Prime Minister!!!  :buttrock  :buttrock  :buttrock


Lando the tax-free day thingy is sadly true. The Adam Smith Institute are a long established think-tank, very well respected in political and economic circles. They prove in pounds and pence what most of us should've rumbled years ago - that thieving c*nt Gordon Brown is a*se-raping us for every penny he can get to throw into the bottomless pit he calls "public services". The worst thing is how he assumes we're all stupid and don't realise that hikes in national insurance and freezing of nil-rate-bands and above-inflation council tax rises are just a f*cking substitute for not raising income tax rates

what a c*nt :angry:
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Postby Judge » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:57 pm

Woollyback wrote:LANDO, what a c*nt :angry:

a bit harsh woolly

:D
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Postby stmichael » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:57 pm

yeah and to make things worse, we are now going to get taxed more for making home improvements. it's an absolute disgrace. :veryangry
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Postby Lando_Griffin » Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:58 pm

Sounds good to me CIGGY!!!!! Can I bring a shark back to set on Blair, though!?! :D :p :angry:
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Postby Lando_Griffin » Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:00 pm

Right Wolly. I'm currently undertaking an intense diet of kebabs, raw offel and boiled tripe in preparation for my meeting with el bast*rdo Blair. I'm going to abstain from the toilet for a month, then let the cu*t have it.:angry: :D :angry:
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Postby Judge » Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:39 pm

Lando_Griffin wrote:then let the cu*t have it.:angry: :D :angry:

what, you gonna sh'ag his missus

what will that prove  :laugh:
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Postby Woollyback » Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:54 pm

Lando_Griffin wrote:Right Wolly. I'm currently undertaking an intense diet of kebabs, raw offel and boiled tripe in preparation for my meeting with el bast*rdo Blair. I'm going to abstain from the toilet for a month, then let the cu*t have it.:angry: :D :angry:

i was gonna say "give it both barrels mate!" but I hope for your sake you've only the one barrel back there  :D
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